It’s been a really long while. Too long. Hopping back on here 
Last ate at 10pm. Starting the count down to 10 days tomorrow. I’ve kept off 6lbs since last time. 
Better than nothing I guess. I absolutely love food and my eating habits have gone way down hill again. Need to reset, regain control and have a healthy relationship with food 
Current: 228.2lb
2 month GOAL: get out of the 2’s
Twentytwentywon 🙌🏼
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DAY 1 
feeling okay about starting I’ve been trying to start for the past couple days and keep giving in. My mantra today”nothing tastes better than skinny feels” celebrating with a cup of black coffee. 
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Uhhhmmm I ate 
it happened. Starting over. 
I really need to find a deeper why. My motivation and procrastinating is just blocking me. Going to pray and ask God for a better goal/purpose for this fast. It needs to be more sincere…something.
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Wow I totally get this. Unfortunately my big why is super simple. I’m extremely sick. I promised my family I’d fight. The thought of my parents going through more pain and watching their only daughter pass haunts me.
Find your deepest fear, biggest regret, greatest loss. Chances are it has nothing or little to do with your weight.
When I see big why’s like”I want a bikini body” what I read is “ I have been deeply hurt by my community and people I love for not accepting me for who I am. The only way people will love me is if I look a certain way. I am afraid of being alone. I do not want to die alone. I am afraid of loving myself the way I am and do not want to die alone”
There is nothing wrong with wanting a bikini body, feeling comfortable and confident in our bodies! And nothing wrong with wanting to feel sexy and having some deserved vanity. I want a super hero body too- except I can’t wear a bikini because I would get SO sunburnt! I think our big why comes from so deep inside only the brightest light of introspection can unearth it
Someone once told me their biggest why “ someone hurt me a lot as a child. I want my daughters to be strong enough physically and emotionally to say no”
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Wow!! Thank you so much Kristy I was feeling so alone in this struggle…like why can’t I just deny myself. Praying, started a 21 day fast devotional on the holy Bible app. I think my bigger why is my kids and just insecurity…I have never been this heavy before but I just let myself go.
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Started over today last ate at 6:30 last night. I’ve been really busy today so day 1 is just flying by. 
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Ending my night and checking in just to keep myself in check 
drinking some hot chamomile tea it tastes soo good 
feeling accomplished and really not burdened at all 
Thank you Jesus
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Have you thought about talking about your fast with the pastor/priest/leader of your church? Doing it for your faith?
I went to a Buddhist University. However, a person of any faith can be a Buddhist. We would frequently fast together with each other on their religious holidays to show show solidarity. And lectures were given about the religious meaning of the fasts. Ramadan wasn’t something I do do very well with no fluids but I tried! How do your amazing people dry fast?
Having frequent conversation with the head of your religious community might help you talk some issues out and come to your big why, discover how to take care of god’s creation (you!), and bring you closer to Him.
If God loves you as much as I bet he does I doubt he want you burdened with misery
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Had to look up dry fast.woah That’s hardcore but awesome! I’m Christian and it’s not really talked about yes we start our 21 days of prayer 2 times a year, (starting this Sunday which will help) and for Easter it’s about 42 days with the church as a whole and you’re supposed to give up something. Most of it is highlighted as no sugar, soda, carbs, and technology but that’s just what I’ve known I haven’t really asked. In the Bible it states when you fast to not look like you’re fasting so it’s kind of a secret between you and God so you don’t get glory here but in Heaven. If that makes sense.
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Day 2 feeling good
Weighed myself which was pretty exciting… I had to double check because it’s a lot and for a second I thought my scale was broken I guess I was holding onto a lot of water.
CW: 224.8lbs
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I did not know that! Do you do confession? Could you make it part of that? Thanks for teaching me something new!
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We repent of sins but yes we can confess to another person it is encouraged 
we can group fast but normally it’s different things and we tell each other
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@kristy I talked to my pastors wife last night and asked her she said of course we can talk about it just that we don’t boast about it. It’s all for Gods glory thanks for giving me the push to talk to headship
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Day 3 !
It’s been 62 hours since my last meal…I liked the idea of taking down the post it notes in the morning but I don’t want to cheat myself in the time so I might take day 3 down tonight It’s really cold today 39 degrees currently 10 more hours to day 3 and I’m feeling really good. Just repeating “the Lord sustains me” church and then premarital counseling today. My best friend is coming over with her daughter to watch my 2 kids. It’s gonna be a great day 
I have to go grocery shopping today but I’m feeling good about it. The temptation to eat isn’t there at all. Having a cup of coffee this morning it tastes good I imagine it’s broth lol
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CW: 222lbs
Heading into day 4 at 6:30 tonight…2 more hours starting to feel slight hunger and we are going grocery shopping in about 30 minutes 
checking in on here just to keep myself going. Gonna have some hot green tea to hold me
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Drinking hot green tea heading out to grocery shop. Checking in here because I need to
Doing great feeling accomplished slight stomach growls but overall feeling good the temptation is really not there still. Super grateful thank you Jesus
Day 4!
Took my first supplements of potassium and magnesium…I want to make sure I don’t have leg cramps like last time it was so painful. Also feeling really euphoric rn 
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