Lockdown Fasting: Maywind's Journal

[maywind]

Hi everyone! I’ve been fasting off and on for the past 3 years but last year I put on a bunch of weight after my brother died. Now that I’m in quarantine, I’m trying to take advantage of my downtime to fast off the weight I gained. I’m currently in my second extended fast, the first having lasted a few hours short of 6 days.

Stats/info:

• I’m a 31 year old FT librarian so even when I’m working out of the home, I’m still pretty stationary
• I’m 5’3”
• I’ve struggled with my weight for most of my adult life, predominantly due to anxiety
• My highest weight was 181lbs in 2012, my lowest weight was 133lbs in 2013

I started my first “quarantine fast” at the end of April. My starting weight was 171.4lbs, my ending weight was 163.8lbs. I had a rough week after that and regained a few but started a new fast on May 1. My current weight is 160.2lbs so I estimate about a 5.8lb loss since I started. I didn’t weigh myself until day 3 because I felt a bit disappointed before that and didn’t see any reason to make myself sadder by checking until I felt ready.

My original plan was to break tomorrow evening but I’m considering going a bit further. I feel pretty good so I think I’ll go until “true hunger” returns. Plus, I’d like to get a bit deeper into the 150s before I break.

[Compdude]

Welcome to our fasting community!

Technical note: to keep future entries on this single thread, click on reply in the lower right hand corner.

[maywind]

I just passed into the 150s this morning at 159.8. My daily weight loss has slowed considerably. I’m not sure if I’m just done losing water weight and am working through fat more (is that a thing?) or if I need to up my water intake, as I may have gotten a little lazy with it. In any case, .4/day is still obviously no small feat. I just hadn’t seen such a slowdown (2 days now) when I researched similar fasts (sex, height, age, weight, length).

My original plan was to break tonight but I’m not hungry and I feel fine so I think I’ll continue as long as I feel good. I’d like to get a few more pounds into the 150s if I can, I’d like to avoid rebounding into the 160s before my next fast.

[Compdude]

What day are you on now?

[maywind]

I just passed 6 days.

[Compdude]

See what the trend is like for the next 3 days. It’s not a straight line. Also there will be days you will plateau. Don’t get discouraged. Have faith in the process and keep grinding daily.

[maywind]

158.6

Today’s weigh-in is more in line with what I am used to seeing. I’m glad I stuck with it.

I’m still having difficulty sleeping though. I’m tired in the morning but by night I’m usually too energized to rest.

[maywind]

So, lockdown has ended and I didn’t meet my goal. I was on my way but then I went back to my old eating habits and regained weight.

I don’t want to be hard on myself though, I want to keep going and so I will. Because I know I can do it - I started to do it in May until I psyched myself out - my goal this time is to fast through the week and break on Sundays. This regimen will continue for 40 days. It’s an aggressive goal but I feel physically and mentally awful and for the past two weeks I’ve been focusing on eating a keto diet, which wasn’t hard for me to do and was actually quite tasty. I feel ready.

Here is the plan:

• less internet time, which I started yesterday

• more reading, I love books but I’ve spent more time in front of a computer and less time with a book in my hands

• once my online class ends, pick up some type of hobby that brings me joy

• read something on fasting to keep me motivated; I know a decent amount but I need to stay focused

• be mindful - in my current book a character said that decisions come down to either making a fear choice or a personal growth choice and I want to make more personal growth choices

If I feel truly sick I will break, and safely. But if I’m just cranky, I’ll have to learn to live with it this time.

I know my starting weight but I feel a little sad about it so I’ll wait to post it when I weigh in again Sunday morning. I know it doesn’t matter really but it’s a mental thing and whatever gets me going is what I’ll do.

[maywind]

Unfortunately, I broke yesterday so I’m altering my plans a bit.

Ever since we started curbside pickup - which has me running up and down multiple flights of stairs all day in a mask - I’ve found it hard to maintain any amount of emotional peace. We were all scheduled such that we would work every other day, and always with the same people. In my case, my days are spent with the same person with little to no outside interaction. While she’s a very smart person, and overall nice to me, she’s a complainer unlike any other I’ve ever met and I’ve had to adjust to being around it more than I had before.

The first two weeks were rough. I hadn’t expected the level of anger she’d be emanating. She complained about everything - if people called the wrong number, if their voicemail didn’t work, which direction people walked through the office, where everyone was sitting, how long it took patrons to pick up their holds, etc. It was nonstop and it had me in a foul mood. I’m clearly an empath (nonspiritual) which I hate. I don’t like that I can detect when someone is in a bad mood, I don’t like that being around them for extended periods of time causes it to rub off on me. I’ll be looking into reading material for how to knock that off…

Yesterday she and I argued. Twice. I’ve never argued with her before but she finally hit on two topics that I actually had pretty strong opinions on and she was being so ridiculous that I just couldn’t take it anymore. I’ve been listening to this woman catastrophize everything for over a month now. I snapped. While I stood up for myself, I’m glad I did, and I think I did a fair job of it, she just isn’t capable of listening. She starts ranting like a mad person, so I think only a bit of what I said got through.

On the upside, when I broke I didn’t binge which is a huge accomplishment. So my goal now is to restart my fast with the goal of making it to, at least, Wednesday evening. This is because I won’t work with her again until then so the fasting experience should be more peaceful for the next few days. I hope I can go further but until we reopen - which is soon - being stuck with her and only her with no other interaction to break up the day is just too much for me.

On that note, I also intend to find therapy online. I don’t want her to spoil this experience for me. Her bitterness is starting to seep in and ruin my view of my job, which before this past month made me happy. So I’ve got a larger battle going on but I haven’t given up yet. I had some protein this morning and restarted my fast at 9:39am EST.