I too tell people I don’t know how anyone lives life without Jesus and God. I pray probably 4 times a day easy and talk to God like he’s my best friend because really He is!! We have to learn to trust so we can let go of our fears. I have a tendency to pray and then 10 minutes later worry again … I have a “God box” up in my closet that I write all my prayers and worries in … every few months I look at them and you wouldn’t believe how 98% of the time they either came true or were resolved somehow … we gotta trust right?! God is good and always on time 
Great job on the no m&ms!!! Proud of you!!!
Liz’s fasting journal
Add me to that list. LOL, I grew up with southern baptist upbringing in the north. They shared a movie at church one night about the apocalypse and scared the living crap out of all of us to declare ourselves saved and get baptized. I managed to slip myself through the cracks.
I was in ballet at the time, and there was a service soon after that discussing how dancing was bad. I asked the preacher on the way out the door about this. I enjoyed my ballet too much and decided I didn’t believe dancing was such an evil thing and therefore I was not going to invest any more interest in this belief system.
I hope you’re allowed to associate with a heathen like me. 
I see “God” in everyone and all around. 
There are good pieces in all religions. Many of the original documents that put the bible together though have been edited and/or hidden or eliminated. And you have to remember, as good as translation is much can be lost in translation.
I believe Jesus was just one example of what we are all capable of doing for ourselves. The power is within all of us to create our own miracles.
[/end sermon]
Hi Liz! So proud of you and you should be so proud of yourself for your choices yesterday!
It’s none of your business what anyone else thinks about you. Because it doesn’t matter. I’m 53 and I’m happy being me. I 100% support you being the best you that you wish to be. Prayer and meditation have similar qualities. Both can quiet the mind and give focused attention on positive outcomes.
Exactly. It’s too much work for me to pretend to be things that I’m not.
I hope you are able to come to terms with that vulnerable feeling. You have everything inside of you to protect yourself.
You get an AMEN for that.
Yep. Don’t allow fear to rule you. The universe provides. Ask and it is given. You need only to be open to receiving.
The point of these things is to give you wisdom and have sympathy and understanding when you come across someone in a different position. Non judgmental. Seeing through the external situation of someone and seeing their real internal being and soul.
Anyway, sending you positive energy (consider it a prayer) to continue on your journey of making conscious decisions to bring you to the health and happiness you deserve. 
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Lovely post Miramar ! You put a lot of thought into it! 
or pray and then one SECOND later worry again is what i do sometimes.
we are human. i’m so so happy i’ve found a new sister in Christ. That’s amazing. i love this community. thank you for saying you’re proud of me for no M&M’s. it was hard but i’m now dedicating each fast for a purpose. set the intention. THAT is my reason when i’m tempted.
i think fasting for unsaved people is powerful. that kept me going yesterday BIG TIME. like - what’s more important in the scheme of life? Me eating junky sugar and possibly setting myself up for an unplanned binge? Or my stepsisters and brother in law getting saved? obviously the latter.
anywho, i need to remember to set an intention every time i fast.
i had that intention of getting a meeting with Jeff for new business. I just got an email saying I am getting a meeting with Bill who is the CFO. possibly even a more important meeting than jeff!
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of course i’m allowed to associate with you! are you kidding me? I see God in you! I’m not here to judge anyone. i’m here for myself first and foremost. and i believe in divine connections and i believe i’ve been sent into your life and you into mine for a purpose. i’m having so much fun messaging with you and Stacia! i cannot BELIEVE you all read all of my posts. i honestly just write stuff out as therapy for myself. i’m happy someone reads. like it’s a huge blessing. thank you jesus!
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thank you!
yes! agree 100% - we DO have the potential to do what Jesus did and the Bible says that we can do even GREATER works. greater works than healing the blind!! Can you imagine? I honestly cannot. world peace i guess. healing for cities. healing racism. all of that really IS possible with God!!!
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thank you so much for all of your comments. no pressure to read my stuff ever but I will say i look forward to see what you reply with. thank you for the prayer too jill. you’re obviously very in touch with laws of the universe. yes! ask and you shall receive. that’s in the bible too Matthew 7:7-8
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i just ate lunch and couple of treats. wasn’t really hungry to begin with…stomach kind of full now. a bit uncomfortable. and STILL want to eat. what the heck?!? i don’t get it. but i did promise myself (before the treats whoops) that i was DONE eating for the day.
Shouldn’t be too tough. We are leaving in about 2 hours to go to a friends 40th birthday party. It’s at a bar. I am telling myself it will be fun. i mainly arm going because 1. we were invited and 2. my mom has my daughter overnight so i have nothing else to do.
spent some time with my new neighbor. i think we are going to be friends! very exciting because I don’t have any friends close by that i really like and feel comfortable with and want to spend time with regularly. i don’t have co-workers. the other moms i know i don’t know. I guess they just either don’t want to spend time with me or they don’t have time to hang out with me, or it’s not convenient for us to hang out or whatever! but i have a friend. yea!!!
her son is a year older than my daughter and so far every day aftaer school these 2 have played together. this is big for my daughter and me! i’ve been praying for God to send my daughter friends who live close to play with. God is good because it appears he sent me a friend too and here i sit going wow God. I didn’t know I needed this but I do!
you guys - she made me laugh. She said her mom was non traditional mom. She said she’d be like mom I’m thirsty. And her mom would say here - and hand her a warm diet shasta from her purse. that made me laugh hysterically. Like how did she come up with Diet Shasta? I was rolling! and then the description that it was warm and in her mom’s purse?!? i was like i like this lady.
anyway, i’m probably over reacting. I might hate this lady in a month. But so far, so good. I like her a lot. I’m just comfortable with her. I’m not worried about what she thinks of me. I’m not afraid of being myself.
Best of all, she is not an alcoholic or drug addict. she drinks socially and doesn’t smoke pot. that right there is enough reason to be friends with her for me
just ordered a new bed. we have a mattress so this is the fancy part with a headboard and footboard. i have never had one and neither has my husband. we are in our 40’s. he was complaining the other day that he’s never had one. and i said well, do you want one? yes, it would be nice he said. i said okay, they aren’t THAT hard to get. it’s not like you can only get one if you are nominated by the president of the furniture company. pretty sure you can get one online at about 5000 websites.
so looking on pinterest. and i liked this one. read reviews and what do you know, i bought it! husband approved. i am happy - unbelievably, indescribably happy - that i can afford to spend the money to buy it. money is not everything but it is nice to be able to buy something nice for your house and not have to think about it too hard and plan for it for months and hope it is still available when and if you are able to get the money for it.
i lived like that for a long time. that’s why it has never even occurred to me to buy a bed. why would you need one? if you have a mattress and box spring on a frame, what’s the need? none but okay if he wants one, we’ll get one. i know it will look nice so i’m pretty excited to almost be an adult.
just hung my new plants outside my office, my birdfeeder, and my hummingbird feeder outside my office window yesterday. i see tons of awesome birds but just saw my first hummingbird of the year! so cool.
4 out of 5 hydrangeas i planted last weekend are doing great.
i guess i’m out of things to write about. i don’t want to go upstairs because i know the dog needs to go out. how lazy is that? husband is on the treadmill and listening to Howard Stern. Howard is one of my husband’s close friends, but Howard obviously doesn’t know it. my husband will say “Howard was just talking about that movie and said it’s really good.”
very close friends.
I been keeping my office tidied up the last few days. it’s nice. i feel less crazy and scattered.
hope y’all having a great Saturday! until we meet again!
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. The Howard stern comment made me laugh, sooo happy about your new neighbor … my neighbor (my sons best friends mom) has been one of my best friends for 10 years now!! It’s sooo nice to have people watching out for you and your daughter … awesome.
I too bought a bed and headboard about 3 months ago and had that same thought about feeling like an adult … made me smile. Have fun tonight !!!
Thank u! Havent posted lately. Jill sent me some YouTube videos and the one I watched was long but so good. I literally saw a miracle manifest within a few hours today. I applied the principles the guy talked about along with Christian ideas I try to apply daily. This guy just said what I knew in a way that seemed easier to practice. If that makes sense. I’m going to watch the next one tomorrow.
Love this supportive community. Love learning new things and finding out about things I would never have heard of otherwise.
Glad u have a bestie. Today my other neighbor was cozying up to MY friend too lol. I should be happy we are all getting along but In my head I’m like wait that is MY friend. I called her! I’m being silly to crack u up but I did get a teeny bit jealous. My goodness. Hi I’m liz and I’m in 3rd grade. Meet me at recess by the swings if u want to be in my secret club
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just got home a little while ago from a long day at work. first met in a group with the other salespeople who sell independantly for the same company. there was an elephant in the room about if the new owner is going to keep the commissions the same. i finally asked “do you anticipate any changes to the commission schedule?”
the new owner gave a weird smile and said no i don’t.
i told my friend later i think he was pissed. she didn’t think she was. she said i’m so glad you asked that! i thought then why am i the only one who asked??? Ultimately, that’s all we honestly care about. are you still going to pay us what the last guy did? yes, he says.
i do want to stress over how he gave that weird smile. i felt like he was pissed but made himself smile. who knows. maybe he had gas or something. my husband of course thinks i’m reading too much into everything which i probably am.
maybe he was laughing AT me. Like what is this bitch - crazy? no i’m not changing what you get paid! do you think i’m an idiot?
who knows.
then me, the new owner, the old owner and the operations guy had lunch with my biggest client. i cannot. even. tell. you. how. that. went.
I could try but it’s pointless.
my takeaway is all in all - everything is going to be fine.
i am fine. my clients are fine. the new owner is fine. things are going to be fine. i just need to focus on improving myself. growing my business. letting everything else go.
i’m not going to get screwed. my friend and i already said this and it’s true - our biggest fear was the company being sold and that’s already happened.
i got near my house after lunch and got myself 2 bags of m&m’s share size. one peanut butter. gone. and one peanut. those are half gone and i’m done.
i was at that point where i thought i really don’t want anymore. so i’ll save them for another day or give them to my husband. i just don’t need anymore.
shocking i know.
now onto important and fun things: i got filler and botox yesterday. i never had done filler before. wow, made a huge difference. i’d post before and after pics but yeah, it WORKS.
my face a bit sore today. it’s bruised slightly. hurts a tiny bit when i smile.
so today - my omad is done. it’s sort of sad but the scale was good today. i was up about 1.5 pounds from the last time i weighed in which i think was friday. so weight was 140.8 i think. 140.something. that’s not bad at all. i was thinking i’d be up to 142 so this was a pleasant surprise. very pleasant…
game plan is fast tomorrow. unless the scale says 139 or less. then i’ll eat tomorrow.
then omad thursday friday saturday and sunday.
i’m finally maintaining my weight and i’m very happy about that.
gratitude: everything was fine today. i didn’t hurt myself too much or burn myself with hot coffee when i slipped on the last step and fell down on my booty this morning in my basement.
my alarm on my phone went off and it startled me and there i went. i thought this is why old people need to be careful! and apparently, I need to be careful too.
my commission check was good. not the best but still very good. i cannot complain at all. my friend said hers was horrible.
let’s see what else? i think that’s it. going to church tonight with my friend. that’s why i’m glad i did my omad today and have something to do tonight besides focus on food and eating. that is what i would do if left to my own devices.
i’m missing my daughter right now. just want to see a face that is sweet and doesn’t judge me. someone who loves me unconditionally and i don’t have to doubt her motives.
my husband asked how everything went today and i told him. he just thinks i overreact. like i told him one thing that bugged me and he says i’m making too much of it. fine. okay. i probably am.
so anywho, i’m going to go take my dog on a walk.
i’m ready for my face to feel normal. i’m ready for bed actually. i spent my whole day just feeling very uptight and on edge. it’s all over.
i’m tempted to worry about what the old and new owner said about me in the car. but it’s none of my business.
i want to analyze every word said. every glance. every blink. every hand motion. everyone’s seating position at the table. and dissect it all. but i know that is not helpful. and i know just in the few minutes i already spent doing that that all that is going to do is stress me out more. so i’m letting it lie. it’s over. i’m done. and i’m praying not to have any more meetings like that for a very long time.
i know one thing for sure - i personally won’t be setting up any more meetings for all of us. nope!! not happening. that is the last and only one.
I enjoyed your post Liz ! I was right there with ya with all of it … see how we often stress for nothing? Not only is it all going to work out you are maintaining your weight ! I mean cmon that’s huge right there !!! Proud of ya … inspired to.
I smiled at the smidge jealous of the neighbor … I’ve felt that way too … especially when it’s hard to find people that you just jive with … I can make friends by being more like them but it’s so draining. It’s reallllyyy nice to click with someone!!
You’re doing great, just keep leaning forward and trusting God. It’ll be alright! I tell myself this too. My food has been good … can’t say chips are totally out (grrr) but Ive managed to keep the portions smaller (with the thought of i can have more tomorrow instead of my “omg, this is the lllaasssttttt time I eat these better make it an all out binge”)… since it’s my last junk food I think I’ll be gentle with this one. At least they are Organic … lol. I do feel lighter these past few days … it feels good.
Thanks for the update … I like reading your posts !
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Oh girl. I’m a damn liar.
I hate to say it. To ADMIT that after all my bullshit yesterday - I DID finish the peanut M&M’s and THEN i ate more when i got home from church. What in the actual fuck?!
I ate stale - YES STALE - i don’t even know what they are - the bag said they were veggie sour cream and onion puffs. basically cheese curls but instead of cheese it was sour cream and onion. and did i mention they were stale?
and my mouth is watering. just thinking of stale snack food. seriously i need help.
my sister in law gave them to us because she thought they were healthy.
they aren’t healthy! not at all.
when you eat 3 bowls, they are really not healthy.
that plus finished off the chocolate chips and pecans. i put those in this little plastic cardinals hat that we use when we want to pretend we aren’t going to refill it at least 2 more times. i was going to make chocolate chip cookies one time.
scratch that idea, just put pecans and chocolate chips in a bowl and it’s kind of reminiscient of chocolate chip cookies.
gone. both packages.
hmmmm anything else?
oh yes, a spoonful of peanut butter.
anything else?
i think that was it. hahahaha!
sure liz - that’s ALL - just 3,000 extra calories after lunch at red lobster and after your 2 share size bags of m&ms which all of that combined was an already large omad.
i’m telling you yesterday was a DAY. It wasn’t the worst day. It definitely wasn’t the best. But it was extremely stressful mentally.
Stacia - so funny about you mentioned not totally staying away from chips. it’s tough - i can’t imagine actually b/c i have so many binge foods and i literally cannot imagine giving all up except for one. Anywho, your chip addiction made me realize i need more chips in my life and so i added some to my walmart delivery order that i placed for tomorrow.
thinking of binge foods - i also added yogurt to my walmart order.
been getting into nuts lately too so added those. at least i feel like i’m not doing AS BAD when i eat nuts b/c they aren’t processed. of course, i’m sure they are actually processed in some way.
anyway, my husband is making dinner. i fucking hate him right now.
i was going to write about his ass earlier but stopped myself b/c i was pretty much irrate.
talking about money, of course.
i’d rehash the whole thing but i don’t want to get pissed off all over again.
that might be welcome after all of this food talk and smelling that i’m currently doing.
like why do others want to eat when i’m fasting?
oh yeah, i’m fasting today.
i don’t know what the scale said this morning. i was too much of a puss to check.
tomorrow i’m praying it will be down to 130-something. not sure if that is possible after last night’s binge. ugh. which would mean if it’s NOT down to 130-something - i’ll have to fast tomorrow - so sad. i don’t want to! i’m upset even thinking about it.
i hate my life, said the lady in a gorgeous 4 bedroom, 2.5 bath house in the United States of America - the best country in the world - the land of opportunity.
i’m a dick.
fucking pto zoom meeting i have to do now.
love ya’s!
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I like to get the pretzel bag out and dip into the peanutbutter. I can’t have pretzels just yet.
I can’t WAIT to have some cheese in a few days.
If you had a chance to do that day again, what would you do differently?
what would i do differently? i’d call in sick :- 
let me guess - you make your own peanut butter?!
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hello reality. i got a nice dose of you today!
Got on the scale. moment of truth. fuckity fuck
not the truth i was hoping for.
it was either 142 point something or 143 point something. i think i immediately made myself forget so as not to be upset about it all day long.
went to the dr. and i saw the scale with my own eyes: 145.8. and the lady wrote down 146. i mean come on! put 145. not 146. what kind of sadist DOES that to another woman?
but all in all - my health is better this year than last year, pending blood work results.
this year vs. last year:
down 9# (10 if the lady wasn’t a sadist)
BMI down to 23.57 from 25.15
Oxygen saturation 99% up from 97%
Blood pressure still good 108 / 68 - really good b/c my parents and sister have high BP
Pulse 75 good i guess - i’m alive!
interested to hear about cholesterol. on meds for that finally. had high cholesteral since i was 20 years old. and the doc just put me on meds for it in Oct 2020 since then it was 296. ridiculous. my blood basically had been replaced by butter at the time.
hopefully i’m praying it’s back to blood.
what else?
stayed on my fast yesterday. and scale still sucked.
grrrrrrrrr
that really irritates me. maybe i need to start getting on everyday. i say that because i think tuesday being so low was a bit of fluke. that or i just went so crazy on tuesday that today was still bad even after fasting yesterday. maybe a combination.
so now i have to fast today to see if i can get to 130-something by tomorrow. it’s a lofty goal and i really was dreading fasting today. but i have to do it.
i need a reason besides weight. maybe i’ll fast for someone. i can’t think of who i want to fast for. my sister keeps popping in my head. so she’s the lucky winner today. fasting for jen. she’s going through a stressful time. girlfriend is moving out to her own place 3 hours away. she called an ex the other day who was the worst person alive. don’t like that at all. i just want her to have friends. or A friend. that’s what her problem is honestly - loneliness.
okay no more bitching. i was going to complain about being hungry. boo fucking hoo. that’s life sister! get over it.
i can eat tomorrow. i can eat tomorrow.
i was dying to eat earlier. then i got to have coffee after my bloodwork and i took some salt so i’m feeling good now minus a touch hungry.
even if i’m not 130-something tomorrow, i’m still going to eat. today makes 3 fasting days this week. i’m not doing friday too. friday saturday and sunday are eating days.
if i’m a couple of pounds heavier, so be it. but i’ll prob see 130’s tomorrow. if not then i will take it easy on eating this weekend. i really need to cut the sugar. praying for me to have a desire to stop eating sugar.
i don’t really have the desire to stop. i was like that with weed for a long time. i knew i should stop but i didn’t want to.
i was able to tell the dr today that i quit the pot. she didn’t even say good job. oh well.
until we meet again! praying i’ll be reporting that i fasted all day today and that the scale said under 140 
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gosh just want to eat. grrrrr.
so irritated with myself for binging Tuesday night.
Fasting call takeaways…
Dee told how she went off her plan last night and ate. She said “it’s never worth it.”
that resonated with me.
she also said the food she’d been craving didn’t taste as good as she was hoping or wishing or expecting.
so i made myself an updated sign to hang next to my bed:
Dear Liz,
Words to live by:
- It’s never worth it.
- Nothing good happens after 10PM.
- Think how you’ll feel tomorrow if you don’t eat.
- Ditto but if you do eat.
- Don’t get out of bed to eat.
Love, Your Human Brain
It’s nice outside but i’m sitting inside. my daughter has a little friend over. they were playing outside then i get on the phone and they grab the ipad. i said get off of it. but they leave me alone so i’m like fuck it. i just don’t have the energy right now to care.
at least they are laughing.
i swear kids these days - no imagination.
one time a kid was at my house and she said “can we use the ipad to google things to play outside?”
i’m like really?
are you all that brain dead?
i guess so.
i took a pain killer earlier today because my neck and back still hurt from falling down the stairs on Tuesday.
that is honestly why i am not taking the ipad away. because i’m a little woozy.
i haven’t had one of these in years and now i remember why.
i’m like a slug right now.
i don’t know if i want it to wear off or not. i don’t in my body but i do in my brain. these are making me feel lethargic.
i told my one friend i took the pill. i love her honesty b/c she goes Liz - do you really think you should be taking that Ms. Addict Lady?
she’s right. they aren’t even mine. they’re my husband’s. and they’ve been in a drawer for like 2 years. i’ve just never gotten into pills. too hard to get.
what else? that’s it. i had a few moments today where i was happy to be fasting. didn’t want to eat even a little bit. i keep looking at the clock and saying “just make it 5 hours then it’s bedtime.” hell, with the way i feel right now, it could be bedtime now.
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Got my blood work results and physical today. I’m perfect 
. First time in adult life my cholesterol was under 200 and BMI was at the healthy weight. Thank u lord. I’m so happy.
48 hours fasting.
Had fun with my neighbor and our kids at the playground.
Didn’t think of eating once.
Before that I laid in my hammock and read a book. So relaxing. There’s so much more to life than eating. need to add that to my letter to myself That I have taped next to my bed. !
Yas posted this in our group chat. Lol
image|394x500
This is my current diet plan:
(Need to add)
there’s so much more to life than eating.
138.2!!! that’s all