Lots of sleeping. Hubby went back to work today but he plans on coming home early. Listening to some great books and resting while the pups have down time. 1.5 mmol. Ate some tofu and cheesy popcorn yesterday. Taste is a little off with nose stuffed up. Period was really heavy the last two days but had almost no cramps.
exhausted but hope I’m on the mend. Cough meds really help.
Feeling SOOOOO much better! Period is finished and I didn’t gain or lose any weight- 177.5. Dr thinks I’m stalled because I need my thyroid meds adjusted but I guess I have lost 4.5 lbs in the last 30 days so I’m not even remotely concerned. I’m going to try and fast today- will have some miso (might add some toasted sesame oil if I’m really hungry). 1 mmol
Was in ketosis for most of my period which is really rare. Pups are resting.
I’m thinking, strong emphasis on the thinking, that I might try an extended fast. I know the first 3 days are the hardest. I can manage 48 hours without too many unmanageable symptoms. I’m thinking 4 days (which is long for me with all my medications)
I do not believe or resonate at all with the unhealthy idea of “mind over the body” or the extreme notion of “conquering” the “body.”
It would be a dirty fast. With the insane amount of medication I’m taking I’d need some calories (usually fat) just so medications can be properly absorbed. So cream in my coffee and probably occasionally having some coconut oil with meds or if I get light headed. Also miso with sesame oil. Obviously electrolytes.
I don’t want to do this to lose weight, though I’m sure that would be an effect. First: antibiotics always ruin my guts. I want the opportunity to give these precious organs time to recover and take lots of probiotics. Secondly, with the election of the totally un-United states of America I feel the need to abstain from consumption- especially of media. I hope I can use this time to cultivate loving kindness and prepare myself for the chaos that will inevitably ensue over the course of the next several weeks.
Although I do have political beliefs I completely understand and respect other world views. People are suffering deeply. If someone is spewing vitriol, hate, and perpetuating fear it is because they are hurting and are not yet able to heal their pain. Many people have never experienced radical acceptance of themselves as they are or unconditional love.
I’m not sure abstaining from food for that long is something this body can do safely. I’ll play it moment by moment.
My greatest concern is how fasting effects my sleep. Sleep is absolutely essential for my wellbeing (I’ve almost died a couple of times from not sleeping). We’ll see. I’d love anyone’s insights, advice, and loving vibes
40 hours into the fast. Tired but it is beautiful. So many birds singing this morning! 1.6mmol. I wonder if the antibiotics are affecting ketosis? No matter- just curious.
Had some creamer in my coffee and will have miso with oil. Last night I had small spoonful of nut butter with coconut oil with my medication.
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A horse suddenly came galloping quickly down the road. It seemed as though the man had somewhere important to go.
Another man, who was standing alongside the road, shouted, “Where are you going?” and the man on the horse replied,
“I don’t know! Ask the horse!”
Broke my fast after 50 some hours. Knew I would not be able to sleep without some food. Still on antibiotics. Time and patience. Plan on abstaining from food today and eating breakfast tomorrow. Maybe I’ll be able to do ADF with occasional 2 day fasts? Last night I ate 3 eggs, a vegetarian beyond sausage with mayo, a couple of spoonfuls of nut butter and coconut oil. I cannot eat dairy with my antibiotics. 175.5 today. Haven’t checked ketones yet. I do not seem to experience a dissipation of hunger when doing longer fasts. My tummy constantly growls and gurgles. This may be due to medications?
Today/ this month is very important for the USA. Regardless of any outcome I vow not to take sides, to be peace, to facilitate compassionate dialogue and follow the 14 mindfulness trainings on inter-being. I have set up a meeting with a friend so we can cultivate loving kindness together. She will be extremely stressed and I hope we can work together to help her cultivate peace and compassion. Today I will reach out to my family and friends and listen deeply to their worries. When the pups are resting I will listen to a Buddhist book about reconciliation and right speech and engaged Buddhism. Sometimes the most transformational thing we can do for society and the world at large is to cultivate our own peace and non-doing.
For anyone who is is interested here are the 14 mindfulness practices on interbeing:
The Fourteen Mindfulness Trainings are the very essence of the Order of Interbeing. They are the torch lighting our path, the boat carrying us, the teacher guiding us. They allow us to touch the nature of interbeing in everything that is, and to see that our happiness is not separate from the happiness of others. Interbeing is not a theory; it is a reality that can be directly experienced by each of us at any moment in our daily lives. The Fourteen Mindfulness Trainings help us cultivate concentration and insight which free us from fear and the illusion of a separate self.
Aware of the suffering created by fanaticism and intolerance, we are determined not to be idolatrous about or bound to any doctrine, theory, or ideology, even Buddhist ones. We are committed to seeing the Buddhist teachings as a guiding means that help us learn to look deeply and develop understanding and compassion. They are not doctrines to fight, kill, or die for. We understand that fanaticism in its many forms is the result of perceiving things in a dualistic or discriminative manner. We will train ourselves to look at everything with openness and the insight of interbeing in order to transform dogmatism and violence in ourselves and the world.
Aware of the suffering created by attachment to views and wrong perceptions, we are determined to avoid being narrow-minded and bound to present views. We are committed to learning and practicing non-attachment to views and being open to others’ experiences and insights in order to benefit from the collective wisdom. We are aware that the knowledge we presently possess is not changeless, absolute truth. Insight is revealed through the practice of compassionate listening, deep looking, and letting go of notions rather than through the accumulation of intellectual knowledge. Truth is found in life, and we will observe life within and around us in every moment, ready to learn throughout our lives.
Aware of the suffering brought about when we impose our views on others, we are determined not to force others, even our children, by any means whatsoever — such as authority, threat, money, propaganda, or indoctrination — to adopt our views. We are committed to respecting the right of others to be different, to choose what to believe and how to decide. We will, however, learn to help others let go of and transform fanaticism and narrowness through loving speech and compassionate dialogue.
Aware that looking deeply at the nature of suffering can help us develop understanding and compassion, we are determined to come home to ourselves, to recognise, accept, embrace and listen to suffering with the energy of mindfulness. We will do our best not to run away from our suffering or cover it up through consumption, but practice conscious breathing and walking to look deeply into the roots of our suffering. We know we can realise the path leading to the transformation of suffering only when we understand deeply the roots of suffering. Once we have understood our own suffering, we will be able to understand the suffering of others. We are committed to finding ways, including personal contact and using telephone, electronic, audiovisual, and other means, to be with those who suffer, so we can help them transform their suffering into compassion, peace, and joy.
Aware that true happiness is rooted in peace, solidity, freedom, and compassion, we are determined not to accumulate wealth while millions are hungry and dying nor to take as the aim of our life fame, power, wealth, or sensual pleasure, which can bring much suffering and despair. We will practice looking deeply into how we nourish our body and mind with edible foods, sense impressions, volition, and consciousness. We are committed not to gamble or to use alcohol, drugs or any other products which bring toxins into our own and the collective body and consciousness such as certain websites, electronic games, music, TV programs, films, magazines, books and conversations. We will consume in a way that preserves compassion, wellbeing, and joy in our bodies and consciousness and in the collective body and consciousness of our families, our society, and the earth.
Aware that anger blocks communication and creates suffering, we are committed to taking care of the energy of anger when it arises, and to recognising and transforming the seeds of anger that lie deep in our consciousness. When anger manifests, we are determined not to do or say anything, but to practice mindful breathing or mindful walking to acknowledge, embrace, and look deeply into our anger. We know that the roots of anger are not outside of ourselves but can be found in our wrong perceptions and lack of understanding of the suffering in ourselves and others. By contemplating impermanence, we will be able to look with the eyes of compassion at ourselves and at those we think are the cause of our anger, and to recognise the preciousness of our relationships. We will practice Right Diligence in order to nourish our capacity of understanding, love, joy and inclusiveness, gradually transforming our anger, violence and fear, and helping others do the same.
Aware that life is available only in the present moment, we are committed to training ourselves to live deeply each moment of daily life. We will try not to lose ourselves in dispersion or be carried away by regrets about the past, worries about the future, or craving, anger, or jealousy in the present. We will practice mindful breathing to be aware of what is happening in the here and the now. We are determined to learn the art of mindful living by touching the wondrous, refreshing, and healing elements that are inside and around us, in all situations. In this way, we will be able to cultivate seeds of joy, peace, love, and understanding in ourselves, thus facilitating the work of transformation and healing in our consciousness. We are aware that real happiness depends primarily on our mental attitude and not on external conditions, and that we can live happily in the present moment simply by remembering that we already have more than enough conditions to be happy.
Aware that lack of communication always brings separation and suffering, we are committed to training ourselves in the practice of compassionate listening and loving speech. Knowing that true community is rooted in inclusiveness and in the concrete practice of the harmony of views, thinking and speech, we will practice to share our understanding and experiences with members in our community in order to arrive at collective insight.
We are determined to learn to listen deeply without judging or reacting, and refrain from uttering words that can create discord or cause the community to break. Whenever difficulties arise, we will remain in our Sangha and practice looking deeply into ourselves and others to recognise all the causes and conditions, including our own habit energies, that have brought about the difficulties. We will take responsibility for all the ways we may have contributed to the conflict and keep communication open. We will not behave as a victim but be active in finding ways to reconcile and resolve all conflicts however small.
Aware that words can create happiness or suffering, we are committed to learning to speak truthfully, lovingly and constructively. We will use only words that inspire joy, confidence and hope as well as promote reconciliation and peace in ourselves and among other people. We will speak and listen in a way that can help ourselves and others to transform suffering and see the way out of difficult situations. We are determined not to say untruthful things for the sake of personal interest or to impress people, nor to utter words that might cause division or hatred. We will protect the happiness and harmony of our Sangha by refraining from speaking about the faults of other persons in their absence and always ask ourselves whether our perceptions are correct. We will speak only with the intention to understand and help transform the situation. We will not spread rumours nor criticise or condemn things of which we are not sure. We will do our best to speak out about situations of injustice, even when doing so may make difficulties for us or threaten our safety.
Aware that the essence and aim of a Sangha is the practice of understanding and compassion, we are determined not to use the Buddhist community for personal power or profit, or transform our community into a political instrument. As members of a spiritual community, we should nonetheless take a clear stand against oppression and injustice. We should strive to change the situation, without taking sides in a conflict. We are committed to learning to look with the eyes of interbeing and to see ourselves and others as cells in one Sangha body. As a true cell in the Sangha body, generating mindfulness, concentration, and insight to nourish ourselves and the whole community, each of us is at the same time a cell in the Buddha body. We will actively build brotherhood and sisterhood, flow as a river, and practice to develop the three real powers – understanding, love, and cutting through afflictions – to realise collective awakening.
Aware that great violence and injustice have been done to our environment and society, we are committed not to live with a vocation that is harmful to humans and nature. We will do our best to select a livelihood that contributes to the wellbeing of all species on earth and helps realise our ideal of understanding and compassion. Aware of economic, political, and social realities around the world, as well as our interrelationship with the ecosystem, we are determined to behave responsibly as consumers and as citizens. We will not invest in or purchase from companies that contribute to the depletion of natural resources, harm the earth, or deprive others of their chance to live.
Aware that much suffering is caused by war and conflict, we are determined to cultivate nonviolence, compassion, and the insight of interbeing in our daily lives and promote peace education, mindful mediation, and reconciliation within families, communities, ethnic and religious groups, nations, and in the world. We are committed not to kill and not to let others kill. We will not support any act of killing in the world, in our thinking, or in our way of life. We will diligently practice deep looking with our Sangha to discover better ways to protect life, prevent war, and build peace.
Aware of the suffering caused by exploitation, social injustice, stealing, and oppression, we are committed to cultivating generosity in our way of thinking, speaking, and acting. We will practice loving kindness by working for the happiness of people, animals, plants, and minerals, and sharing our time, energy, and material resources with those who are in need. We are determined not to steal and not to possess anything that should belong to others. We will respect the property of others, but will try to prevent others from profiting from human suffering or the suffering of other beings.
[For lay members]: Aware that sexual desire is not love and that sexual relations motivated by craving cannot dissipate the feeling of loneliness but will create more suffering, frustration, and isolation, we are determined not to engage in sexual relations without mutual understanding, love, and a deep long-term commitment made known to our family and friends. Seeing that body and mind are not separate from each other, we are committed to learning appropriate ways to take care of our sexual energy and to cultivating loving kindness, compassion, joy and inclusiveness for our own happiness and the happiness of others. We must be aware of future suffering that may be caused by sexual relations. We know that to preserve the happiness of ourselves and others, we must respect the rights and commitments of ourselves and others. We will do everything in our power to protect children from sexual abuse and to protect couples and families from being broken by sexual misconduct. We will treat our bodies with compassion and respect. We are determined to look deeply into the Four Nutriments and learn ways to preserve and channel our vital energies (sexual, breath, spirit) for the realization of our bodhisattva ideal. We will be fully aware of the responsibility of bringing new lives into the world, and will regularly meditate upon their future environment.
Broke my fast after 15 hours. Was ravenous. 2.6mmol. Was solely cellular hunger. Let my tummy grumble for several hours before I chose to eat. Antibiotics…
Gotta do the antibiotics with food for sure! Make sure to follow up with probiotics after. They do a number on the gut. Hope you are feeling better!
Today is one of great uncertainty, fear of the unknown, and grief for all those suffering from illness.
We all experience great suffering. But we cannot have joy without suffering. I would like to encourage everyone to reach out to family, friends, and your community as a whole and listen deeply to their worries without judgment. Regardless of anyone’s opinions we all have more in common and contain basic goodness. We all want our friends and family to be safe, happy, and healthy. We all want children to grow up in a world of infinite possibilities and in our heart of hearts we want to experience unconditional love.
We must first transform our own suffering. Regardless of a past we cannot change and a future that never comes to pass please take this moment to know that you have all the conditions for happiness right now. Marvel in the miracle of the blue sky, the innocent and sometimes mischievous smile of a child, and our own solidity. We are here, now! Do not abandon your time ruminating on anything but the present moment.
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I did not sleep well last night. My resting heart rate all night was in the 110-130. Wonder if I should consult a doctor? I tossed and turned all night with a mild cough. 1.2mmol today. No news/media today. The weather is suppose to be nice so I plan on spending lots of time outdoors with the pups. Will eat when I need too. Will try to rest today too. Will spend as much time in sitting meditation as I am able. Plan on swimming tomorrow and maybe Friday if our puppy sitter is available.
Since I can’t be home for thanksgiving (my parents are in poor health and since my hubby works at a university we can’t risk exposing them to Covid ) I ordered them some of my favorite pies and pastries from my favorite bakeries in Chicago.
Didn’t sleep well last night. Woke up this morning to my neighbors burning piles and piles of leaves. So my cough is back. Will still swim though. 1.2mmol. Did 2mad yesterday kinda? Regardless, I’m going to eat whenever I need to with these antibiotics. Just a couple more days!
Spent a good portion of yesterday reading up on Buddhist psychology and communication. Had a difficult time focusing, however. Used the mantra. “ I have arrived. I am home”
That pretty much means that I have stopped. Stopped running. Here and now aware in the present moment. Letting any thought and feelings that we all run and hide from be present and tending them lovingly.
I have always volunteered as much as I can. There aren’t many places for me to do that let alone in a pandemic. So I’ve found a pen pal that is incarcerated and hope we can build a relationship and help bring joy and ease her loneliness.
Pen pals is something II haven’t heard of for years. I’m so glad you are able to do that. It means so much to the people incarcerated to have contact with the outside world. So isolating in there.
I find if I don’t sleep well one night, I tend to make up for it the following night. Do you have any luck with that?
Is Data letting you sleep through the night, yet?
Unfortunately with my neurological disease lack of sleep is a positive feedback loop. It’s caused by stress and illness. I’m having to take extra sleep meds but that can take a different t type of toll on my body. Just something I need to keep an eye on. Data sleeps great!
Glad to hear Data is sleeping, yay! Have you thought any more about a doctor visit for your heart rate?
Not yet. Too busy at the moment. The closest specialist is 2 hours away from me and I do want to go anywhere near a dr office during Covid if I can help it
I walk away for a moment and I turn around to find this punk relaxing on the coffee table with a shit eating grin on his face! Love is boundless
So beyond precious Kristy!! How could you not just smile all day with those luv bugs of yours!!! Jealous? Yes 
