Rebecca's journal :)

[Rebecca_Hughes]

Day 0 (eve before day 1)

I feel like I should write something. Today was a great day. I stayed on target with my diet, I made hella money, I worked out a bit, gave myself some attention and I even took my before pictures. I will be sure to take my measur first thing in the morning.

Why am I choosing to embark on a 14 day fast?
Well, I watched a YouTube video of a doctor that performs supervised fasts (not Fung) and he said that the body isn’t able to get to the deeper layers of healing until about day 11. So that’s why he reccomend to his patients a 15 day fast. I chose 14 because, this might seem cheesy, but Yasmein is doing 14 days, and if she can do it, so can I. I figured she would be rooting us on all along the way, so I should be able to do this. AMD more importantly, I want to. I want the health benefits, i want to minimize my loose skin from a previous 100 pound weight loss and pregnancies. I want clearer, smoother skin. I want amazing digestion. I love the benefits of banishing cancer and premature aging. And yes, I want to lose fat. I want to lose ALL the fat my body DOESN’T need. And I would like to this now, and not a month or a year from now. I am doing this now!

[Yasemin]

We got thisssss Day 2 for both of us gorgeous!

[Rebecca_Hughes]

Day two! Woohoo!

[Rebecca_Hughes]

Recap of Day 1:

Boy did my mind fight me! The mind is a funny thing. I prepared for this fast by transitioning to fluids only three days prior. My mind didn’t seem to fight me then. Nooo, not until I wasn’t taking in anymore calories did my mind start objecting. Thoughts of “what’s one more day?” “Nothing wrong with omad…” and so on. I really struggled every time I looked at any food item (I’m a mom and have to cook for my family). I went to bed prepping myself for today. Reminding my self of my goals. Praying today I struggle less!

[Compdude]

In those situations I remember Arya from Game of Thrones, “Not Today!”

[Rebecca_Hughes]

Recap of day 4 and 5:

I’m still here! Still going! Been so busy! Which has made getting past the boredom of not eating a little more “easy.” That feeling is still there. I love the experience of eating, feeding/nourishing myself, connecting with those around me that are partaking in what I am partaking in. Often times sharing in food I prepared; put my love in. There is a healthy side to eating. It’s not all bad. It’s been nearly a decade since I broke up with food addiction. I still have the emotional plugs that can be ignited with something as simple as a reese’s peanut butter cup. This Halloween I didn’t partake in the candies that I so loved and obsessed over as a child and teen. Even creating some of my identity from the candy category I loved: anything peanut butter and chocolate. Years I would get peanut butter and chocolate or mint and chocolate goodies because everyone knew how much I loved them. So crazy. That’s what I did Halloween, reminisced of those times I ate handfuls and handfuls of Halloween candy instead of eating it. Done this for years now. What’s even weirder, is that I didn’t make it out of Halloween without eating something. Instead I ate 4 carrot sticks, 2 celery sticks and 3 tomatoes- all with ranch of course. I didn’t eat these because I was hungry, but because I didn’t want to look like the “skinny” girl that was starving herself to look even “skinnier.” Yes, the possibility exists that all that could have been in my head. However, if you have spent any length of time as I have around my family, you would know that wasn’t the case. I am the only one in my family that is not obese, at least not anymore. So yes, I ate. If I can even call it that. It felt a so weird, it felt like I was just eating an allusion of food. It was more of the act. Did I feel like it broke my fast? No. Did it send me into eating more? No. Did I get back to fasting? Yep! Was it hard? Not at all. This time it feels different. I have this whole group of people to share my results with. I want good results to share. It’s motivating. I feel really good this time too, my body has been keeping right up with me. I even ran with my 8 year old when we were out at Sun Dial bridge in beautiful Redding, California. I freaking was offered a free snow cone sample in November! That’s Cali for ya lol, beautiful weather. Didn’t even flinch to pass up on the sugar. Been living this way for so long that others see me as “the healthy one.” My daughters describe me as fit. It’s awesome. I’ve earned this. Good job Becky. You did this, you are living your dreams, your visions of yesterday. Enjoy relishing in this. Love you.

[Rebecca_Hughes]

Recap of days 9-12

I broke my fast. Not with crazy eating. Not with sweets. But with connection. I share time with my two older daughters and their father. Most of my week with them I fasted. Most of the time I am with them it feels like I am fasting, or OMADing or something. I know most of us here can relate when it comes to people who don’t understand fasting and see it as starving one’s self. This is where my struggle lies. This is what I feel is coming between me and my goals. It’s the thoughts and feelings of those around me. And not just anyone, my precious daughters. My daughters that look to me as to what being a woman is. They don’t see me as I see myself. They see me as perfect. It’s not that I don’t think I am beautiful, because I do, I just want to feel beautiful naked, and not all gooshy and flabby. Part of my body composition will be remedied with exercise, which I do. But I feel a great deal of the goosh will be eaten up through fasting and autophagy. Anyway, I did get SO much out of this fast. The most I have ever gotten! I do believe it I was because I had all you lovely people doing this along side me. I also want results, which I am getting and loving it! So this is NOT over for me. I have goals, and I am getting them. Through fasting! I just felt that I needed to eat with my girls before they went back to their dads. Connect with them. So we will see how this weekend goes. I get them again Friday. I will tell them I am fasting again, to make my double digit day goal of 14 days. I started again last night. Anyway, the part where I tell my 13 year old daughter that I need to fast to lose this last little bit of weight when she is feeling the same in her body is hard for me. I feel conflicted. I see her as perfect, because she is. I want to be sure my example doesn’t spur an eating disorder with my daughter. My daughters know that I am the sugar Nazi and rarely ever let treats into the house and although they hardly remember me being morbidly obese, they do remember the pictures. Anyway, I don’t know if I am making sense. I just thought I would write my thoughts and feelings down and update where I am at. I am starting another fast to complete 14 consecutive days. From there, I will probably do a combo of OMAD and ADF because that works well for my lifestyle and digestion. Oh, and instead of self loathing about breaking my fast, I treated myself to the spa I have been really treating myself really good through this whole fast. And I total plan on continuing. It feels good, and I deserve it.

[Compdude]

The family and social aspect is important and must be taken into account when designing a lifestyle that is sustainable over the long term. There are a lot of different protocols you can mix and match. For example, one YouTuber I follow is Rachel Sharp, who is having success with Alternate Day Fasting. You may need to experiment to see what fits YOU. Here’s her executive summary of her experience:

[Rebecca_Hughes]

Whoa! What a trip. I totally watched this video today. I say trippy because I have never seen her before. I fast forwarded through a chunk because I didn’t have the time to hear her whole message (my little one was ready for the day). Anyway, I will find the time today to watch this now that it has found an odd way to grace my screen two times on one day! But I was impressed with her results with keeping with it for a year. Last year I went through the fire that wiped out an entire town. Today is the anniversary. Last year, I had done my first extended fast with as a result of being in a high trauma mode. I didn’t eat for nearly four days. It took two weeks to put the fire out and in those first few days, we didn’t know if it was going to take out another town. Anyway, that experience led me to fasting for health and keeping cancer away and postponing aging. Wow, what’s crazy is that here I am, at a year too. I haven’t lost much weight, but my body composition has changed. Not where I want to be, but it is getting there. Thank you for reaching out Compdude!

[Rebecca_Hughes]

Today is November 10th. Two days ago, I decided to attempt another extended fast. Later that night, I smoked some weed and ate a keto meal. From that experience, I saw that if I want to fast, I cannot smoke weed. There are other reasons I would like to not smoke anymore, or as much as I do. I have been a closet smoker since I was anout 15. About 99% of my friends and acquaintances would be so surprised. I just don’t come off as a stoner. Probably because I’m not. I smoke to cope with trauma to be blunt. I came to that discovery with the last few EF I did. With each fast, I would tell myself I am not going to smoke, because I know that I cannot overcome the strong desire to eat something, even if it’s healthy, when the munchies hit. Anyway, this last fast. I really saw and felt my urge to smoke. I noticed it was usually 20-30 minutes after my coffee. Anyway, I won’t banish cannabis for good, I would hist like to see it’s frequency much like alchohol is in my life: zero up to once a month. I know I’m addicted, it’s obvious to me when I fast. Along with my fasting, weight loss and self love goals, I am going to continue to work hard at processing the past traumas and emotional pain of my past to kick this cannabis addiction. Along with the fast from food, I am fasting from marijuana. Oh man, this is gonna be a challenge. But I need to do this. 36 hours in And I feel good. 12.5 more days to go.

[Rebecca_Hughes]

Wow, way too long since I last journeled. Throughout Decenber I have been OMADing it and ADF. Right now I am working into another EF before my birthday by starting with only liquids, juice and soup; all plant based and low carb-ish. I have set a goal to weigh 154 by my birthday. My last weigh in a fee days ago I was 161. I know the weight loss will be slower as I am closer to my goal weight and also I am within my healthy weight range (WOOHOO!!!) I am super jazzed about that because when I started this journey with all you lovely people, I was stuck at 172 for three years and was not in my BMI. Now I am, that is so cool!! I love how this journey has made fasting so much easier for me. I love how much of myself unam seeing in this process too. I know I haven’t posted much, but this group is always on my mind. It is motivating to me to have people to share my ups and downs with.

[Compdude]

Congratulations! Its great to hear of your progress because as far as I can tell you are one of the few that have survived to keep making milestones and getting closer to goal. So far I’ve counted 3 of us with another only 5 days away from completing her goal. Look forward to reading more of your journey.

[Rebecca_Hughes]

Thank you! This is not my first time losing weight. However, it is my first time losing weight starting from not a relatively obese weight. My highest weight was 250 pounds. It took five years to get to a healthy weight of 150. I maintained that until the birth of my third daughter leaving me at 172, FOR YEARS! It was so crazy to diet and not lose weight or to eat whatever the heck I wanted and not gain weight. Just staying at 172. Every once in a while going a few pounds up or down. Right now I am celebrating that I am over 10 pounds away from that number! I have learned from the tears of losing weight that I need to set realistic goals and celebrate any forward motion. I am happy at my weight, just not satisfied. I just want to go into this next chapter of my life being at my best physically. I refuse to accept getting “old.” I have already overrode so much of my former programming and DNA. I am the only thin person in my family. I am the oldest of five siblings, all but myself and my youngest siblings have had the gallbladder removed! Anyway, I share this in Hope’s that it reaches somebody that has been believing the lie that your genetics control your weight. No! Your thoughts and belief have so much more influence than we give credit for on our DNA. Last year I lost everything in the devastating camp fire, along with all my old photos. I wish I could display the photo I had at 238 lbs for people to see what you put your mind to, you can have I think the only way I will achieve my goal of weighing 154 by January 2nd is through an extended fast. That would be 7 pounds from now until then. I believe I can do it. But of course, I will take any love, support or encouragement I can get!

[Compdude]

Agreed. I just saw my Physician’s Assistant, Friday, Dec 13th to review my latest lab results. I was declared officially medication free: no more daily insulin injection, no more diabetic medication, no more 2 hypertension medications, no more high cholesterol medication and no more gout medication.

A BIG part of my motivation is to take my custom research-backed treatment protocol to help other people whose doctor still believes T2 diabetes is “incurable”.

[Anna]

I’m really happy for you and what you have achieved! Great job!

[Rebecca_Hughes]

Oh my gosh!!! That is so major things to be celebrating!! Talk about overcoming! Hallelujah, you’re an inspiration to me. I hope my family will wake up soon.

[Rebecca_Hughes]

Dear Journal,

Here I am, at the beginning of another extended fast. Typical first 24hr stuff for me. Not particularly hungry, just hungry thoughts! I watched one of Yasemin’s videos today to get me through the many humps today (just one day, oy!) In the video, Yasemin talked about “planning it out” vs just a random thought to stop fasting. I have thought about this month and how I wanted it to go. I know, I haven’t journeled in awhile, so I guess to catch everyone up, I wanted to focus on actually drinking enough water EVERY DAY and working in actual exercise daily and then finish the month out with a 14 day fast. Which, I am currently doing now. I have planned this out and I want to see myself succeed in completing a double digit day fast. In this case, 14 days. I also want to hit my goal weight this year. I did not hit my goal of 154 by my birthday. I also did not put in the work to achieve that goal either. What did I do? I maintained my weightloss through the holidays and through my bday lol. I’m proud of that. However, I’ve got goals, and I’m achieving them damn it. So 14 days. My first 24 hours down, and I feel great. Just bored. I have the whole house to myself tonight

[Rebecca_Hughes]

I also want to add this for accountability…I am also fasting from Marijuana. I am not a heavy smoker. Gosh, so weird to say that because everyone I know would be so shocked to know I smoke marijuana. Anyway, it’s not serving me anymore! It is literally getting in the way of me and my goals. But gosh, I feel I have been craving it more than food. Ugh. I want to finish my training for my pilot’s license and I need to have a physical to pass my medical and I cannot do that with mariin my system. I have been trying to accomplish that since may of last year! It is getting ridiculous. So 24 hrs free of marijuana too. Marijuana has literally been the reason I have cut my attempts to get to at least 10 days or more. I am never able to overcome the immense hunger feelings that follow the high. I have planned this out too. I have to keep reminding myself of that.

[Compdude]

Welcome back Rebecca!

Since you’ve been here, I’ve been investigating if there is a link with cigarette and alcohol with sugar/carb addiction. @Anna has talked about “neuroadaptation” of carb/sugar addiction and I think it can be applied in the case of how multiple addictions may reinforce the physical neural pathways to the pleasure centers of the brain.

Btw, I have you to thank for starting me down this investigative path from your previous posts. Just confirmed the link between sugar/carb and alcohol with one member of the FB group earlier today. I also keep an eye out for more confirmation with new and existing members as it comes up in posts.

As always, let me know if you have any questions or just need me to post a “motivation” speech video for you from the YouTube playlist where I’ve been compiling them.

[Rebecca_Hughes]

Oh thank you Alipio! I always appreciate your input. And your welcome! Since I am home alone (which is rare) I challenged myself to just sit, quietly. Do nothing, just sit. And boy! Did all the “reward” cravings pop up. Like, go have a flavored water, or more coffee, or smoke pot, anything, but just sit quietly! It’s amazing how addicted to just any form of stimulation I am. I attempted 30 mins. I didn’t make it, I hoped up after about 20 minutes to put on music on. It was an interesting experiment. I guess it was my mini way of seeing how fast my mind would thwart my “plan” of sitting for 30 minutes.