boo. want to eat so bad.
reframe this:
I get to fast. I’m not being made to fast.
Sure I want to eat but I will feel 10,000x better tomorrow if I don’t.
I’m not going to eat. Just keep telling myself I’m not going to eat.
get busy doing something else.
that’s why I’m writing here.
maybe will write more later but that actually helped
Live by decision not emotion.
Hi Liz
Hope you’re doing well… I can totally relate to your struggle. I have struggled with the same for years. 
thanks. i’m so sick of struggling ya know?
i just want to crawl in a hole today and not come out. could that be an option?
i just turned on don’t worry be happy song by bobby mcferrin on youtube. trying to feel better.
i’m tempted to worry about my kid. about myself. about everything.
here’s a question for the world - are you supposed to journal all of these negative feelings? or are you supposed to just not express it bc would make it stronger? i have no idea.
i feel like i’m letting the devil run my mind today. a lot of days lately. i think it’s the fucking weed! The damn devil’s lettuce. need to stay away from that shit today. it makes me way worse. more depressed. more anxious. more worried. more negative.
sitting here crying right now.
don’t feel like i have anyone i could turn to. maybe my dad. maybe i’ll call him
he didn’t answer. that’s okay. i texted a couple of people and asked for prayer. so much guilt. especially about my daughter. i want to write about it. but it’s all negative. doesn’t it put negative stuff on her if i’m writing negative about her?!? i have no fucking idea.
i wish i wasn’t me sometimes. i like myself a lot of the time. but as a mom, not. i want to give up on it. but of course i can’t.
i just had a good cry. told myself it’s okay. i don’t have to be skinny to be loved. i am lovable right now. i see that. i just need to love myself and be okay with who i am right now.
I understand Liz.
Its not easy. Not at all. Our biggest enemy is us and at the same time our greatest strength is also us.
You can complain, criticize, talk negative, Its all okay if it helps you vent out your feelings. Let it out and be free. I guess everyone on this forum goes through same emotional turmoil every now and then.
You dont need to be skinny to be loved. All you need is to be healthy to stick around your loved ones in your best condition. You are lovable and a great mother.
Lots of power to you! I’m going to start another 21 Day fast in a week’s time. Care to join?
Enough of taking health for granted.
Thanks for the kind words Mandy! It’s funny you said you don’t have to be skinny to be loved. I told myself that exact thing yesterday. Not sure I believed it but I said it.
when are you starting the 21 day fast? I could join for some of it. But I definitely am not fasting on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and New Years Eve.
Are you in Yaz’s fasting group right now? Forgive me if you are and I don’t remember. I have been so inconsistant lately about showing up and reading the posts in Telegram.
It’s absolutely absurd how TOO OFTEN I think that my worth and value as a person is dependant on my appearance.
I hate to admit this but when I’m thinner I catch myself looking down on people with weight problems. I catch myself doing that. how messed up is that?
And when I’m heavier, I feel like I’m less valuable and lovable than thin people.
I saw a picture of myself from this past summer on the beach. I remember feeling like I was really getting pretty chubby. I’m so thin I can’t believe it. I’m not skin and bones, but I looked amazing.
I really need to stop basing my happiness on the number on the scale. I’ve spent way too much time being unhappy because of my weight.
5 more pounds. That’s what I kept telling myself when I was thin over the summer. I STILL wasn’t happy with how I looked. I was happier with my appearance than I am now. MUCH HAPPIER. but still, it’s dumb how i think.
I did end up eating last night. OMAD. I sat at the kitchen table and ate with my family. I cut it off very soon into starting. I didn’t watch TV or look at my phone. THIS needs to be a priority. Not having distractions when I eat. Eating at the table. I realize that so much of my binging is in front of the tv or while i’m reading or looking at my phone. i think i try to trick myself and say “i don’t care” while I’m binging. But of course, I DO care. A lot. A whole lot.
But if I’m distracted while i’m binging, i do temporarily not care.
i eat so often to relax. i know that.
i didn’t smoke weed yesterday which is very important goal for me right now. stay off the weed! i know it’s not good for me on any level. it definitely makes binging so much easier b/c i really don’t care about anything hardly when i’m high.
i am triggered just even writing about it. i’m so addicted. but i pray in Jesus’ name and thank you Lord that I am free from addiciton. I’m free from the curse of pot and addiction and binging. Praise God I’m free!
Say what I want. that’s what I’m doing now. say it by faith.
I do believe deep down in my heart that I will get past all of this addiction. i just don’t know when or how.
right now, I feel like I could never binge again. But i cannot tell you how many times i’ve thought and said that. i think eating at the table without distractions will make a huge difference. i’m committing to that which i have never done. i’ve read it a million times to eliminate distractions while eating and eat at the table, but I have never actually forced myself to do it.
Hi there,
I would love to join you, the longest I have lasted is 17 days, 4hours.
Can you set a date and let me know. I will lower my carbs and do omad for now.
I will be completing my current after one more day. Will be taking a few days break before I start another one. My next fast starts on Monday, 14th December, 2021
I’m not in any group. I post on my thread for updates and also it keeps me motivated and helps me track my progress. I read Yaz’s posts , tips and suggestions. They really help me a lot
It must be difficult to stay off weed. I’m proud of you. You will get past your addictions. You’re working towards it.
thanks! Monday the 14th. Yes I could fast that week
Hi guys, Monday is the 13th.
Oh yes you are right! Thanks!
so what to write about today? Well, I am not doing much for work today. I ate lunch too. but i am tracking everything in an app so that I’m accountable to myself on how much I’ve eaten. I can easily eat more than 2000 calories a day. Heck - I can easily do that in one meal. Of course, if I’m eating that many calories in one sitting or more, I think we could just go ahead and call that a binge.
I should be addressing envelopes for Christmas cards. I’ll be honest and tell you I WISH I NEVER SENT A CHRISTMAS CARD IN MY LIFE!!! then you are expected to keep sending cards. My husband wants me to do it too.
My daughter has soccer tonight. that should keep me out of trouble. I think so much of the time, I just smoke weed and overeat to pass the time. I don’t WISH i was busier. but for weight loss purposes, it would certainly be helpful sometimes if I was busier.
I have decided my goal from now til the new year is to just maintain my weight. i don’t care if i lose but I do need to at least stay the same. I would love to lose actually. but i’m just being realistic and honest that there’s a very good chance that losing won’t happen.
My bad! I meant Monday, 13 th December
I’m done with my 21 day fast. Will take a break until 12th Dec.
This is the longest I’ve gone without food.
Will have some bone broth today
That’s excellent!! You should be so proud of yourself💪🏾 A very well done. I am looking forward to doing the fast and encouraging each other. My last meal will be on Sunday night before midnight. Take it very easy and enjoy your bone broth… Very proud of you👍🏽
I’ve been out of pocket for awhile. was doing pretty good not binging. i made it around 10 days. now, since thursday it’s been back to binging.
yuck. i feel horrible. scale was bad.
my goal is to fast from food and weed until 12/24. wish me luck. i’m really needing to focus on just today.
i can tell you all of this weight i gained back…
i know it’s partially b/c i kept having crutches when i was supposed to be fasting. the crutches just really mess up the weight loss. so i would use a crutch which would turn into omad. then the scale wouldn’t go down for the week as much as it should.
now i’m up 25 pounds. that’s legit 25. this is the heaviest i’ve been in a very long time. 169. even my boots are hard to zip right now over my ginormous calves. so sad. my clothes are super tight. even ELASTIC jeans. ELASTIC JEANS PEOPLE!
how awful. so today. fasting. it’s got to happen. key is staying off the weed. that stuff screws me up everytime. and the other key is NO CRUTCH. just get through the day. go to bed early. i know i’ll feel a thousand times better tomorrow.
i hope everyone out there is doing better than i am. because i’ve been doing horribly. i need to find another way to relieve stress besides eating and smoking weed. the consequences of both are not positive.
back again. today is day 1. honestly i feel like crap. nauseated. probably b/c yesterday was my birthday and i ate everything. and i smoked pot yesterday afternoon and got too high to function. then i ate a cannabis edible and today i’m hurting bad.
my allergies are a mess. itchy eyes. sneezing. itchy nose. my lungs aren’t feeling great. not breathing freely.
I wish it were next week and i would be done with this fast.
my goal is to fast from food and weed. weed - fast forever is the goal. food - at least until next week sometime whenever my customer is able to have lunch with me. then my goal is to get right back on this fast.
my pants are so tight. even the elastic waist jeans are very tight. i feel so crappy physically. i just need to clean this crap out of my body. i was 168 today. that’s just too much for me to feel good. i actually don’t really even look terrible. just feel terrible.
i’m praying for myself and anyone reading this. abstaining from all of this is hard for me. but being this heavy is also hard. i keep seeing pics from the summer and early fall and i looked so much better. i simply need to get back to it. and the way i got there was fasting. it’s so simple. not easy. but it’s simple. stop putting food in my mouth!
january sucks anyway. no one does much of anything around here b/c the weather is so cold and crappy. i believe it’s around 11 degrees farenheit here. the high today is 20. there’s a little snow on the ground. nobody wants to do anything except hole up in their houses. fast now. get the benefits. then as the weather warms up - i’ll be at my goal and ready to have fun in the sun.
why i need to fast:
see god do miracles in my life - namely to get my working situation going the direction i want it to
free up brain space & improve productivity
get ready for stand-up comedy
improve sales prescence
mentally feel good about myself and my life. give myself hope of a better tomorrow.
get closer to god - the bible says “when you fast” not if. christians are supposed to fast
break the chains of addiction in myself and my family
improve allergies
be a good example of health and wellness to friends and family
improve feeling in knees, hips, and feet
feel comfortable in clothes and pj’s and fit back into clothes i haven’t been wearing.
get ready for better weather
feel light and good in my body versus seeing all of the excess energy that has been stored on my body
get control of myself by exercising the self discipline that i know is there
skin improvement. especially dark and wrinkles under eyes.
be pleased with and proud of how i look
be at a healthy weight.
longevity to see K grow up and help her through life.
clean out the toxins and junky cells in my body
use up the fuel that my body has accumulated.
goal weight is 145. max of 150. that’s a good weight for me and i can maintain it.
husband was already an asshole about me fasting. he said he KNOWS that I’m NOT going to do it. so pissed. and now i’m ESPECIALLY motivated to stay on this fast to prove him wrong. just cried too. starting the day off with these challenges. not letting them break me
i’m back again. today is day 2. i’m trying not to think too hard about it. i did good yesterday. really wanted to smoke weed. but i didn’t. i thought liz - that’s the devil telling you that. he wants you to smoke and then talk yourself into eating. so i took some melatonin and benedryl that’s my sleepy cocktail. and into bed and asleep by 930pm. yea! fasting again today. trying not to worry or think too hard about it. just push through the day.
i’m doing open mic night tomorrow night at a comedy club. knowing that i’m going to be onstage is helping me fast.