Awww I am sorry about the doggies accident! I hope he heals quickly! Give him some scratchies from me! Yeah it sucks to see them in pain 
Yep those onsets of anxiety… i hope you get through it in a good way! 
Kristy's Journal
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Thank you so much! @spull
Just got another wave of cringe inducing fear/anxiety. My husband is director of a private university’s library and over the weekend covid numbers nearly tripled. Just a few more cases and they’ll have to switch to remote learning. The university is doing a great job but my husband didn’t sign up for this.
Things I have been contemplating:
"We live in world torn between wanting to listen to the sound of a flower growing and wanting to ignore the sound of the sky falling. But sometimes being sensitive enough to the first process, we acquire the energy necessary to prevent the second." – unknown
What loves us to the ground isn’t straight or sober, but a spinning–– a centrifugal, beneficent embrace. Earthward–– a little sick–– by the grace of what dizzies beneath us, we fall, we stick. (Sharmila Voorakkara)
“The only people for me are the mad ones. The ones who are mad to love, mad to talk, mad to be saved; the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow Roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.” - Jack Kerouac
You have to write the book that wants to be written. And if the book will be too difficult for grown-ups, then you write it for children.
— Madeleine L’Engle
Doing much better today. Dax in on the mend and back to his his usual ornery self. Fasted for as long as I could yesterday. Had to eat much more in a longer window. Almost passed out. Stupid PMS. Took extra potassium and magnesium and that really helped. Will be more proactive today. Think one of the contributing factors to me always leaving ketosis on my period is the volume of food I have to consume. I’ve literally tried eating nothing but coconut oil (prior and on my period), I am undoubtedly fat adapted, but no dice.
My freeze dried powdered butter, heavy cream, and cheddar cheese came yesterday so I plan on doing some cooking with that today. THE ULTIMATE POPCORN!
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Here are some puppies talking about going to their new families
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Powdered Peanut Butter on Popcorn… that sounds like a GAME CHANGER!
Where do you get powdered cheese and heavy cream from? Both of those would be a nice addition to my pantry when eating resumes…
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ADORABLE 
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@Kyle I’ve only found fat free freeze dried PB powder. I’m sure you can find the regular stuff somewhere.
Here is one of the brands I purchase a lot from
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=anthonys&i=grocery&ref=nb_sb_noss_2
I also purchase a lot from
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=augason&i=grocery&ref=nb_sb_noss_2
I first learned how to use these freeze dried powdered ingredients as a chef to great effect. Adding insanely flavorful unadulterated raspberry powder to a chocolate truffle that wouldn’t throw off it’s moisture balance. It’s just one amazing way to add ingredients/potent flavor to foods without overly effecting their chemistry (everything in pastry is chemistry). The powdered honey… omg…
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grumble… I am unable to use my list/timer trick today to keep busy. Have to watch Dax like a hawk if he’s not wearing his cone of shame. This is a wonderful opportunity to meditate but I’ve got so much “get up and go”
don’t just do something! Sit there!
Thanks for the links! I will definitely order the heavy cream, cheddar and butter.
Might even order Buttermilk and learn how to make homemade ranch dressing…
Appreciate it!!
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@Kyle Found you no sugar added, full fat, freeze dried powdered PB! (If you ever make pancakes add this, the powdered butter, and powdered cream to the wet mix) totally over the top! You can use a mix of cauliflower flour, any nut meal (pecan is my fav for pancakes), eggs (separate the egg whites from yolk and make soft peaks with the whites, melted butter, milk, baking soda and baking powder. Mix together then fold egg white into batter
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Thank you for the suggestion! I love this idea. Will definitely try it out when I’m refeeding! 
.9 mmol ketones so maybe just barely in ketosis. Only slept a few hours. Feel pretty crummy. Had to eat a lot more than I wanted yesterday. All wonderfully nutritious food. However, I still didn’t eat enough to get a decent night’s sleep. Had to break my fast as soon as I woke up with some scrambled egges with some local jalapeno cheddar cheese. Think I’m going to focus on eating nut butters today. The trace minerals will hopefully give me a boost.
Woke up to a sad txt. We might not be able to pick up Data tomorrow. Sounds like two of the puppies (not data) are sick at the vet and they have advised that no one can take the puppies home until they figure out the cause. Got pretty teary eyed. Stupid PMS. I obviously want all the puppies to be healthy and safe but I’m also feeling that my husband had to prepare months in advance to get any time off and regret that he might not get to spend as much time with our new fur baby.
Surprisingly, I’ve only gained 1 lb of water weight during pms thus far… and well eating lots of fiber… Last period I gained almost 7 lbs water weight.
Moody. Need to stay away from all media today. We put up lots of string lights around our deck so we’ll be able to see outside as we potty train. took one of my narcolepsy pills so hopefully I can stay awake
I love this little comic. However, I do not like the artist or what he stands for. I’m only sharing this because it is so true
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Absolutely devastated. We may not be able to get Data for another 2-4 weeks. A couple of the puppies were showing signs of Parvovirus which can be lethal and has no cure (tests are not back yet). Data is healthy and is showing no symptoms, thank the gods.
It is probably (better be) just that the dogs got too chewy with some of the stuff in the yard and now have upset tummys. Regardless, we cannot bring Data home and risk infecting our other two fur babies.
Now it’s just a waiting game.
My husband took a bunch of time off for getting data so he’ll be home for the next 5 days. I am going to use this time to swim swim swim. exercise and laughter is the best medicine.
No desire to emotionally eat or binge. But I would like to cry
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Very sad!
Sending positive vibes that Data will be well and with you soon!
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Kristy, so sorry to hear about the delay in getting Data . I know how excited you’ve been (who wouldn’t be, he’s soooo beyond adorable)… but I guess the “better safe than sorry” applies here as you stated. The time will go fast as it always seems to. Sending you hugs !!! 
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Today is going to be hard. Today was the day we were suppose to pick up data. We’ve been waiting 9 months to get him. I will be getting daily updates from the breeder. As upset as we are I feel so bad for her. She is dealing with 19 dogs all together, has to cancel the flights for the puppies (one of them was going to Japan!), upset families, she currently has a dog in heat that she isn’t sure she can risk breeding because of the situation (that’s about a 30K loss in income). She has to worry about the sick puppies, the potential loss of clients, and a big hit to her amazing reputation. She has no idea how the puppies could have gotten a virus. Her dogs aren’t allowed to come into contact with other dogs and the only place the puppies have been is to the vet.
Ate 4 meals yesterday (I was also up for almost 18 hours). Ate awesome wholesome foods and am at 1.4 mmol this morning. Hurray. Today I plan on coping by swimming, listening to some awesome audiobooks, some retail therapy (yay fizzy water and salad ingredients!), playing games (might get the new WoW expansion), and some extra special quality time with my husband 
My new underwater ipod came so I’ll be jive turkey-ing while swimming.
Very strict media blackout. No way can I cope with the insanity that is the year 2020 today.
contemplated my favorite buddhist parable this morning: There were two monks that came down from the monastery to collect alms in a local village. It was monsoon season and when they were on their way back to the abbey the river they needed to cross had flooded and was very turbulent. They met a woman on the bank of the river who was in distress. She needed to get home but the river was too dangerous for her to cross. One of the monks picked her up and carried her across the river. A long time later the second monk burst out in anger “How could you have touched that woman?! You have broken your vows of chastity!” The other monk replied, “Beloved brother, I picked her up and set her down. You are still carrying her.”
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Jive turkey or jive talking?
Lol. I dedicated jive talking to an Ex.
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Sorry to read about all the stress you are going through with your pup.
Sounds like you have a very good plan for de-stressing today. Enjoy time with you hubby!!
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@Kyle Thank you! We’ll get through it. It’s ok to be in pain. We just have to create healthy and healing ways to experience stress, grief, and fear. We’re lucky that my husband has taken a week off of work so we can be together.
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