Here I am very disgusted at what i had done to myself. I used to work out at least 5x a week, i do crossfit, and I’m very careful with what i eat. Until November of last year that i was rear ended really hard that totaled my car and messed up my back really bad. I now have 3 bulging discs on the base of my spine and pain has now been a part of my day. I now, am not able to do exercises the way that i used to. And that was the start of my health declining. Aside from not being able to work out, i started eating food that is not good for me, carbs and candy became my friend. And then, my baby sister died last January, which just skyrocketted my depression and lack of motivation. I ate whatever it is i liked. That and the inablility to exercise and dealing with my grief took me to a path of self destruction. Now, I’m 30 lbs heavier. This is the heaviest Ive been. And I’m very ashamed of myself. I now have to start getting myself back. Today marks the start of that journey. This is now a battle of ME vs ME. And i will win! Im getting my sexy back!
You vs You. Thank you Yasemin for this!
Don’t be so hard on yourself. Considering the hardship and emotional distress you’ve gone through, its understandable.
Just remember, all you need to do is a daily 1 to 2 mile walk for exercise which should be doable for you. That’s all you need during the fast. The only reason I’m doing more is I do 30-day workout phases to build lean muscle mass and aerobic endurance before starting a new fast.
Good luck!
I’m sorry to hear about all you have been through. You will achieve your goal in time. Please make a plan and start slowly so you don’t do more damage. Wishing you all the best. We are all here to encourage you along the way. Reach out when you want to.
Good for you for seeing the need and acknowledging that it is time for change! You want to be the best version of yourself and not one who is captive to carbs and candy.
As someone who was accustomed to working out regularly and was since injured, you know how to listen to your body. The emotional blows you sustained also mean to treat yourself with kindness. I’m not saying to slack off and give in to bad patterns, but to treat yourself as you would a close friend-- with love and kindness and encouragement and give yourself time. Every positive action is a step towards healing and wholeness.
You are on the right path for healing which may come in a variety of ways. We are here rooting for you! 
Thank you.
It’s been very difficult.
But now, I’ve come to a point where i hate what I’ve done to myself.
I sometimes don’t even want to go home because I don’t want my husband to see me like this.
Self control has to be my friend now.
I have so much to undo now.
And it scares me to fail.
I refuse to fail.
I want to be a success story.
For me.
Thank you. It’s been a rough ride.
I feel like I’ve been accustomed to pain, physically and emotionally, that It’s my new norm now.
I really need to take care of myself now.
It’s my time.
I have to get myself back.
Noone will do it for me.
Thanks for the support!
Thank you.
I have a lot to undo.
I can’t keep doing DAY 1’s anymore.
I have to do this for myself now,
And take care of me.
I take care of everybody else and i take a back seat most of the time.
Yes, you are welcome. I have just lost my dad 2 days ago suddenly. So I am trying to remain positive at this trying time. This year has been awful so far. I 
for a turnaround soon. Take care of yourself, dear.