Intro
Hey, I’m Trish. I have been dealing with weight issues my entire life, was a fat kid all through school then lost a bunch of weight at 19 doing Weight Watchers and kept it off the next 20 years. However during that time I was obsessed with the scale (entire days ruined if I gained 2 lbs by getting on the scale that morning). It was a constant struggle and obsession.
I gained it all back plus some about 10 years ago from a life event that resulted in trauma, depression and anxiety. I became a workaholic. In addition to all that, I had a side hobby with day drinking. I was a bloated shell of a person I didn’t even recognize. When I typed my weight, height and age into a BMI chart and saw that I was in the red zone of “obese”, I tried all the usual programs to lose the weight. Would follow each one with exact precision, only to lose 5 lbs in a month and gain it back instantly if heaven forbid I ate hamburger one nite.
Why
So many reasons. One of the biggest is that I am a boudoir photographer, which means my clients are women who have a lot of the same issues as me and they want to look and feel beautiful. I love what I do, but for several years felt like a giant hypocrite telling women that body size doesn’t matter. I actually DO think they are gorgeous and don’t care about THEIR size, but then here I was and couldn’t get in front of a camera myself.
I eventually went to a counselor and came to terms with the issues (and that event) that caused my anxiety (and my weight gain/drinking). It took about 2 years to get to a place of not hating myself.
Long Term and Short Term Goals:
Long term is to feel confident, always. Not go into a shame spiral.
Short term goals. I scheduled 2 photoshoots coming up with ME in front of the camera. One is an anniversary shoot with my husband (next month) at a very gorgeous venue. The other is I actually scheduled a boudoir shoot for myself in Vegas with a colleague (march 2022).
What are some struggles you face or you have faced in the past
Getting sober (did it though).
Making myself wear clothes that don’t involve leggings.
** What is your game plan?**
I did IF during quarantine last year and lost like 20 lbs. I actually LOVED quarantine and realized that my weight gain is mostly due to stress/anxiety and giant mindf*ck I do to myself. I then did a 7 day water fast after finding Yasemin last summer and it was rough but I did it. I am doing a 21 day fast until Oct. 17, 10 day refeed after that and then going back to alternate OMAD.
How do I feel right now?
A mix. I try to stay busy so as not to think about food. My trigger point is mostly when my husband is cooking.
How will I feel once I achieve my goal?
I think it will be awesome. I am excited about how I will feel in the photoshoots, especially the boudoir one. I am not using a scale, just concentrating on feeling good.
Daily Affirmation
It is done. 
