Thank you for the advice. Thats what my gut tells me too. She is dealing with issues far beyond what I expected to help her with. In hindsight I wish I had just said I’m here to get your groceries, take you to appts and thats it. And while I’m confident I have no reason to fear her, I agree she might accuse me of something down the road out of spite. I will either say nothing or reiterate that I wish her the best if she says anything back at all.
Terry's 30 day + water fast journal
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Thanks for your thoughts. It helps. I’m debating zero contact or only wish her the best if she reaches out again but I’ve already wished her the best. I think I will just block her. I think it best?
Edit: I did block here and feel a little better. I just wanted to make a little cash & help someone. I thought it would be a good thing.
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Weight stall for 2 days. My eating felt off yesterday…Stomach was off all day with the above situation on my mind. Thankfully, there was no further attempt on her part to contact me (she has an email for me) So hopefully this is over. It’s bugging me what might have changed her attitude in 1 day from very thankful for my help to very hurtful and angry. But as I told a friend about it, she said maybe she’s bipolar. I was married for 10 yrs to a woman who had a schizophrenic brother (severe case, would not be evaluated therefore not medicated) & that thought reminded me how quickly he could turn from calm, coherent & lucid to angry, frantic, incoherent. And now I can see a lesser degree of that in her.
I’m a problem solver so I always want to try to make things right. But there’s nothing to make “right” here. I have to remember & believe that & just move on from this bad experience.
It has not helped the weather here has been terrible for 2 days including snow in middle of May. I need to have a good walk today & clear my head.
I am proud that never once did I consider food, especially bad food to support my emotional status yesterday. The old me probably would have picked up a pint of Haagen Daaz PB & Chocolate around the corner.
Here’s to a better day
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Good job sticking to your good habits when going through an emotional time.
I have a younger brother who’s bi-polar and a paranoid schizophrenic. Because of his military background he’s now under the care of the state (as he was deemed a risk to public safety) who can take better care of him than my family can.
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Weight Entry:223.0 lb
Lost so far:59.0 lb
Still to go:23.0 lb
1.4 lb lost & 220 is so close I can taste it. I predict 1 week to get to or past 220. This morning I had one of my favorite meal, my keto coconut sesame chicken with celery. It didn’t seem like that big a portion. Large but not excessive. Not the first time I thought this of one of my keto recipes but rather than force feed to make it OMAD, I wait…maybe a few hours later…maybe 12 hrs later & I have had no negative consequence doing such so why not?
From an exercise standpoint, I had a bit of big box walking, I call it, 2000ish steps. Seems I have a nose for finding elusive covid supplies for family & friends. Its become a ritual when I Walmart shop to check the discounted meat freezer cause Daddy loves the cheap beef!
But I digress. Today will be a more worthy walk day with 18 celcius ahead after 3 days of winter like weather.
When I look in the mirror, I feel like all my excess weight now is pretty much settled in my gut. Ever since I started having GERD issues I’ve felt if I was to die from a medical issue, its going to be gut related somehow. I look at myself & think can there be 30ish lb of excess weight that’s pretty much all on my gut? Sadly yes…even after almost 60 lb lost since February of this year.
Sorry for the random musings. I do a lot of thinking & reflection these days, between no job to go to & covid restrictions.
Happy Sunday, all!
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The remaining abdominal fat is not GERD related, I believe. I have it also as my last remaining 30+ pounds to get to my “6-pack at 60” goal. It has to do with the fact that’s where your visceral fat is stored due to one of its functions is protecting the major organs. It’s also where the oldest toxins have been accumulating for years. It depends on your sex and body type. Women store their visceral fat on the hips and butt.
BTW, here’s an interesting article I thought you’d be interested in:
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I’m posting these 2 photos just because I think its interesting to see how much difference about 15 lb can make on a 6 ft large framed man
I think the first shot is about 235, the 2nd is today at 223. Can you see the differences? Call it a quiz! (It’s the identical tshirt in both shots but diff colours)
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Wow! I can definitely see the weight loss. Keep it up. Blessings.
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Yes, can see it.
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I see it in my face neck and handlebars. Lol. I was surprised actually given how 12 lb doesnt seem signifigantly different. Very motivating.
No weight recording today cause my day is topsy turvy because of a sore throat. I went to sleep at 10pm, had a busy day with lots if walking & running around so expected a great sleep. But sore throat kept me tossing & turning. So I get up at 1230am & say screw it, time to eat (but DO NOT weight after!).
Sunday was a really good day. I got financial news that I’ve been waiting to hear for amost 6 years. Time & years of fears & worry & just trying to keep ahead of life, caught up with me & before you know it, I had a cry. It literally felt like I had been holding my breath for a long time & could let it go finally. It wasn’t like a won a lottery but its enough to give me more options in terms of maybe how long & how hard I have to work. I had a little celebration with myself & ordered a vanity part for my truck that I had been holding off on after losing my job. But I felt it was a much deserved reward for how well I’ve done with my keto lifestyle & weight loss. I also went to the liquor store (I’m a rare drinker) & bought a 6 dollar bottle of Boones Sangria. mixed 4 ounces of that, ice & sparkling water & sat in the sun for awhile, just sitting there & being thankful for the day.
Happy Monday & have a great week!
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Heeeey!!! I can see the difference in your face, the lower part. I have a particular tile on my bathroom floor I put my toes upto when taking photos for comparison just so I’m at exactly the same spot!!
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Great to hear about the $$$ 
Makes a real difference in life feeling like you will be okay to survive , especially since the world got turned upside down and life got crazy.
Good to see your sticking to your goals throughout it all.
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Weight Entry:225.2 lb
Lost so far:56.8 lb
Still to go:25.2 lb
2.2lb weight gain. Sigh. Even though I didn’t record my weight yesterday…full disclosure…and honesty with myself, I did weigh yesterday but it was like at midnight so I didn’t take it as an accurate reflection. And it was…225.2 just out of the blue after 223 (weighed & reweighed to verify that was accurate. I have not had a good BM for 3 days. My last good ones were as I hit 223 now that I think about it? A correlation possibly. Very likely a reflection though that a) why you shouldn’t rely on daily weighings for reference b) that you definitely shouldn’t rely on BM’s to judge your weight by! Just seems like relying on eating disorders.
So mental downer today in any case…but…a reset & go from here. Still in keto, no reason not to be. Again, was another day with lots of walking. I don’t like mysteries! Yesterday was 2MAD and I find myself more often than not doing that than my intended OMAD. I justify it based on how much exercise I get vs am I really hungry for that 2nd meal? Bored (quite likely. I have 2 projects for my truck I’m waiting on parts for. Probably only 2 hours of work total but in my mind it’s something to do!!!)
I’m like my father in that one of the things I enjoyed most about owning property is having tasks to do. I am definitely a house not a condo person. I shovel snow here always…mow the grass occasionally (I have hay fever since I have to be cautious with that). But I used to love having a list of things I could do on my schedule & terms.
I’m considering some kind of volunteerism short term anyway. Back in 2014 I did volunteerism full time. Enjoyed it at first but after a few months of having to be committed to being there for 40 hours a week you start feeling like you should be paid, especially of you NEED money. So if I do some of that again to keep busy I only want to do it in the morning & the kind of work that interests me. May sound selfish but at 59 yrs of age soon, having worked 40+ years of my life, why should I not be able to do any work I want, on my own terms? The other challenge is living in the little city I live, any volunteerism opportunities are “likely” reduced. City of 55,000 vs 1 million plus relatively nect door…but its 1/2 to 1 hour away to most opportunities. That’s an expense out that I don’t want to incur. I recall being laid off in early May looking forward to the opportunity to have the summer off. Double edged sword there, especially for someone whose dna is “I like to work”. But can’t physically do everything I would like to be able to.
My musings feel a bit all over the map today. Somewhat a reflection of my up & down moods. As you can see in spite of my best efforts, unexplained weight gain is a trigger. Where I can stop it in my tracks is by not eating in reaction to it. It still would be far too easy to justify in my brain that if I am going to gain 2lb for no reason, maybe I should go for that burrito…or chinese food…or blizzard at DQ (All of which crossed my mind yesterday…none of which I really craved…nor thankfully…gave in too!)
Thinking a lot about a trip to the lake lately. Aside from an appt with dr’s office this week, I really have nothing stopping me from going anytime, but I have some stuff to do there that I can’t do for at least another month. But I’m craving the walks on quiet lake roads, sitting on the deck overlooking a quiet lake at 5, 6am while having morning coffee.
OMAD today. May or may not go for a walk. I’ve had a 3-4 big walking days. Maybe I need to have a lazy day
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In regards to frequency of meals and increased physical activity, I say yes to 2MAD. You can probably do an ADF schedule: OMAD on “fast” day and 2MAD of “feast” day. The best thing is to experiment. My 1st 30-day workout phase I started with OMAD and then quickly switched to 2MAD on a 20:4 TRE as I could feel not getting enough calories. My goal for that phase was increasing flexibility and endurance. My 2nd 30-day workout phase I kept experimenting. Confirmed that if I didn’t get enough calories in I would break format and have 3 meals with the 3rd meal usually eating too many servings. My new evolved form of “binging”! LOL. I tried ADF and found that the “fast” day of 600 calories wasn’t conducive to building lean muscle mass as I needed a consistent level of calories. I settled on the 20:4 2MAD TRE format and it worked for my last 30-Day Muscle & Flexibility workout phase.
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As guys a large part of identity is tied to doing stuff. I believe the reason I’ve been able to consistently work at this since Aug 9th last year is understanding what motivates me and what makes me content. I like learning new things and taking that learning to create stuff and/or teach others. The happiest part-time job I’ve ever had was being a Beginning Windsurfing Instructor during my undergrad years at UCLA. The reason I became an instructor was I was spending so much time at the marina learning that I was asked to do it. I taught for 4 years with 2 of those after I graduated.
That love of learning and then helping people with that knowledge is the reason I did well in the computer field and stayed for so many years. I started during the mainframe era doing computer programming. I loved working with clients taking their ideas and making them a reality. When p.c.s became the place where all the development was happening is when I switched to software engineering. Since I love development and hate maintenance I always chased the latest new development platform until I finally burned out at 42. I then searched for 5 years for a new profession and found it as a personal trainer where I essentially do the same thing: acquire new knowledge, apply that to create workout programs that help clients get to their goals. Its the reason I took a Harvard Medical Extension course on the link between brain health and exercise because my clients were worried about brain health as they got older, especially Alzheimer’s.
Now I’m in this new and developing field of prolonged/extended fasting becoming an expert, developing new treatment protocols and helping people.
- Volunteerism. I did 4 years with the Pasadena Junior Chamber of Commerce (Jaycees). I liked it as it was part-time and it was very social as it was a bunch of single business professionals who wanted something more fulfilling than the bar scene.
I led 2 major projects for them. A cultural exchange program with the Japanese chapter of the city of Kasukabe, Japan. A group of Japanese business people and high school kids which we hosted for 2 weeks. Had to find host families, arrange excursions and events. Won Best Community Project of the Year for it. The following year I led Operation Santa. A project that had started in the Great Depression and was meant to raise the city’s morale. It’s Pasadena’s biggest community project with a 40k budget. Its all geared to sending teams of costumed Santas, Mrs Santas and elves on Christmas Eve with bags of donated toys in response to all the Dear Santa letters gathered by the Post Office. That year we sent out 32 teams to approximately 480 homes delivering over 6000 toys all in one night. I won Community Project of the Year at the Pasadena Chapter and for the California Chapter. Starting to see a trend here? LOL
- Like me you like to keep busy. Find something that allows you to use the skills you enjoy using to achieve things that fulfill you. Sorry for getting on a soapbox here but I felt it was appropriate. Keep posting!
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23 hour fast, a decent level of activity tracked and weight stuck. I was sure I’d lose something. I think I need to just feel pissed about it today. Yep…my current mood is bored…and irritated. I’m not doing a damn thing today. BTW, keto chocolate mousse is awesome. Feel like eating the whole bowl…but I will stick to the correct amount only. I will not let mousse beat me!
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Weight Entry:225.2 lb
Lost so far:56.8 lb
Still to go:25.2 lb
Still stuck. Aside from a few ups & downs I’ve basically been stuck at this weight for a week. So let’s figure this out…
-Food & drink- No cheats
-Macros- On plan
-In ketosis constantly
-Exercise level-daily
-Sleep-terrible as always. 4 to 5 hours per night, nap, sometimes 2 necessary during the day.
No doubt in my mind my body likes to be around 225 and not surprised. It took a fast to get me to 220 in 2014 and prior to that in my “lighter” years, I often thought 225 was the comfort point for my body. The body has muscle memory in many ways so should we be surprised if thats the case with our weight?
I won’t be stopped. I just need the key to break it somehow. I’m not quite ready for another 100% fast, albeit I’m thinking a 2 or 3 day one. Or possibly a series of 2-3 day with a reasonable refeed in between. I am ready for a fast in that I have no food in the fridge that HAS to be eaten before I start aside from whip cream for my coffee. Not the worst casualty to sacrifice if I decide to have a water fast. But, yet…gradual steps, its not a race here. My first go at this will be OMAD but just have a couple cups of coffee with cream, cause I want too. Certainly a severe calorie & macro reduction should send some signal to the system and this is actually something I have never tried. The only side effect I may need to be concerned about is that cream in the coffee causing my body to want more but hey, its not going to kill me to try, so let’s give it a go! I have 2.5 weeks to my son’s bday & I’m bound & determined to be below 220 by then. If I don’t break 225 by Monday then its on to the 3 day fast/1 day eat/3 day fast idea as the next weapon the arsenal. I have no obstacles mentally or emotionally to deal with at the moment beyond waiting for some packages to arrive from the US! lol.
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The key as you have been suspecting is body set point. Its the weight range that our body has determine is “healthy” for us. It acts as the body’s thermostat. Eat too much and the body speeds up the metabolism to burn off the excess. Eat too little and the metabolism slows down.
The best way to reset the thermostat that I figured out is through a fast-refeed-workout cycle. You can see that here:
As you can see it takes persistence and patience since we are reversing decades of a slowly rising body set point.
BTW, I’ll be giving a 12 minute presentation with a 3 minute Q&A at my Toastmasters club next Thursday at 7am PST on this material. If you message me your email, I’ll send you the Zoom link and a Zoom meeting protocol.
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I’ll take you up on the zoom. Email coming
Weight Entry:223.0 lb
Lost so far:59.0 lb
Still to go:23.0 lb
Lost 2.2lb. Yay! But not all is as it seems & a cautionary tale for you, dear reader, and I. Likely because of being stuck for days at 225.2, I decided my first treat in almost 2 months was in order so I intended to get a burrito, then thought a burrito salad would be a healthier option. Turns out cause of COVID neither place was open, but a new custom salad place was so I thought, lets try that & decided to have the bangkok salad. Looked pretty healthy & yummy to me!
bangkok
romaine, red & yellow peppers, edamame, red onions, chow mein noodles, peanuts, cilantro with evil peanut dressing
It did strike me as I dumped it into a bowl that maybe I should have got the starter vs the full salad size but I’ve never had an issue with a large salad, I had 2 slices of bacon, 2 cups of coffee 8 hours earlier and thoroughly enjoyed the feed. 2 hours after I went to bed, 11 hours after the salad I woke up with a pretty cramped stomach thinking crap, must have been too much of the salad. And it got worse & worse to the point I lay on the floor with 2 pillows & a blanket in terrible pain, feeling like I needed a BM in a big way to relieve the pain mixed with nausea. I ended up, sonewhat successfully, giving myself 2 warm water enemas but really didn’t find the beginning of relief until after I finally threw up (a very rare occurrence for me). So this journey through stomach distress hell went on from 1030pm until about 2-230am. How do I feel today? Bit of a headache, dehydrated for sure even though I drank a bit of water before I went to bed, happy I lost some weight especially because I didn’t have diahrrea at any point and had eaten pretty well yesterday, moderate walking exercise. My stomach feels like its been beaten up & I have zero appetite so aside from my 2 cups of coffee I’m going to skip eating today and just rest. A few thoughts & maybe lessons learned here;
-portion control, even with a salad. I could have eaten some and if still hungry had more instead of eating it all.
-food poisoning- I’m thinking its very possible I had a bout of it. In these days with restaurants trying to slowly reopen it has now occurred to me who knows what license is being taken by some places to keep their supplies as long as possible, rehiring of staff who may not be as experienced. You hate to assume the restaurant food you eat could be marginal in some way but I’ve decided the only food I’m going to trust at this point is that I’ve prepped myself.
I MUST get back to waiting until at least 5am to weigh. Maybe thats my path to finally weighing less often than daily too. If there’s one thing I know I get the most consistent results weighing in after 7 hours sleep, even if I get up for a few hrs & go back to bed. I’ve been trying to convince myself that because my last feed of the day is around noon I SHOULD be able to weigh in at 1am and see the results, but I never do. So the weighing in addiction is a big thing to break.
Have a good wknd!
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