INTRODUCTION
My name is Ryan. I have struggled with keeping my weight down since graduation from law school. In August 2018, while I was hovering around 255 lbs (i’m 6’0’’ tall) and on vacation in Florida, I became sick and was hospitalized for 9 days with pancreatitis. As a result of only being permitted to eat ice chips for those 9 days, I lost about 35 lbs. The weight loss continued once I was released from the hospital and permitted to fly back home.
At my lowest in the 30-45 days that following my hospitalization, I was 207 lbs with the plan to continue the weight loss to get to my goal weight of 175-180 lbs. However, as a self-employed attorney who mainly handles court-appointed cases in child abuse and neglect cases, I felt the need to return to work sooner than I should have as I am the sole provider for my family. Unfortunately, due to the rampant drug issue in this country, there are more child abuse and neglect cases than attorneys who will agree to accept them, which leads to long days in court and travel between multiple counties in a day resulting in all paperwork and returned phone calls occurring well after “normal” business hours. Although I hate to admit it, most week nights I am up until 2:00 to 2:30 a.m. just to try to keep my head above the water and not feel as stressed the next day.
All this stress, coupled with poor eating choices during lunch while traveling, led to my weight creeping back up to nearly 230 at the beginning of this year. Since January 7th, I have really tried to make commitment to eating healthy and exercising (mainly cardio). During this timeframe, I have water fasted for 2 days at the most, but always fell to temptation, especially when the family or kids were eating unhealthy things that I enjoy.
WHY
I am doing this because I want to finally get down to my goal weight and feel better about the way I look. I hate seeing pictures of myself, so I am usually the one taking the picture, instead of the one in it. Additionally, I have a lot of insecurities about my body, with the major one being unwanted body hair. I have always thought…“what is the point of losing the weight and looking good because I’m still not going to take off my shirt in public since I look like a grizzly bear.” I have not taken my shirt off in public since I was probably 15 years old (I’m 40 years old now). I always keep a shirt on while swimming in public.
I guess I have finally told myself that I need to get my body to the goal weight first and stop using the body hair as an excuse. Once I get to the goal weight, I can see what I can do about the body hair issue at that point. First things first though!
LONG TERM GOALS
Get down to my goal weight of 175 lbs, then add on some lean muscle. To generally feel better about myself.
I have booked a family vacation at Turks and Caicos for the end of May and I really want to be in the best health and shape that I have been in for a long long time. I want to be in all the pictures during this trip of a lifetime!!
SHORT TERM GOALS
Right now, I am 209 lbs, so I am starting the water fast today with the intent of getting below 195 lbs before my 41st birthday on February 23rd. If I succeed, I am going to purchase one or two new suits, as the ones I have now are the one I wore prior to the hospitalization in Florida (they are really big on me now!).
STRUGGLES FACED
I have been pretty hard on myself for past failures, which led to even more poor eating decisions. I have avoid some social events when I know pictures will be taken. I have tended not to look people in the eyes when speaking to them as I am not confident in myself or the way I look. I really hate having to purchase XL or XXL clothing. There should be no reason I need XL or XXL clothes. Thankfully, I am now down to Large clothing in most everything, but those are still a little uncomfortable at this point.
MY GAME PLAN
I started my water fast at midnight today with the goal to at least make it a week. The biggest challenge will be convincing my wife that it is safe and avoiding family meals. I plan to research re-feeding after posting this, so I do that correctly. After that, I am not sure if I will start a KETO diet (which I do not know much about at this point) or not, but I know I will be incorporating intermittent fasting into my diet.
HOW I FEEL NOW?
I have mixed feelings. Although I am excited and want to achieve my goal, I am nervous that I will once again fail.
HOW I WILL FEEL ONCE I ACHIEVE MY GOAL?
Simply surreal. I believe “weight” is as much mental as it is physical. I have always thought I will never weigh less than 200 lbs again, but I want to prove that wrong. Once I achieve this goal, I think it will give me the confidence to achieve any goal. Also, it will provide me the reason to maintain that goal weight.
DAILY AFFIRMATION
You are a strong person and can do this! NO EXCUSES!!