Renee's Road

[Renee_Osborne]

Sitting here reading all these journals has me feeling like I may want a place to throw my thoughts against the wall to evaluate them later. So here’s my spot. I’m fiercely private until I’m not, so I have no idea what this will look like… other than a 90 day commitment to write about this process. My only caveat is that I’m not hard on myself when fasting. Fasting can be hard enough some days without arbitrary rules that make little difference in what’s happening metabolically. If I feel the need to have pickle juice or bouillon broth or even coffee, I keep rolling with it. I know that some wouldn’t consider that a ‘water’ fast… and I’m okay with that. Just for me, life throws enough curve balls without me beating myself up for having a splash of cream to get over the hump. I’ll be honest about it, but I don’t change my app for it. So anyone who gets triggered by this may not want to follow along.

Weight-loss is a huge factor in my decision to fast, but metabolic health is the primary goal. Last year I was diagnosed with Type 2 - with a fasting BS of over 400 and an A1c of 13. Keto and Fasting brought me down 40lbs and took me to normal morning numbers and an A1c of 6 within a few short months. By the end of 6 months I was clinically no longer diabetic and my weight and blood sugar were stable on a regular diet. An attempt earlier this year to stop smoking, a return to Mountain Dew (Ugh), and Covid restrictions/stress have me back on the same path I was on so I’ve been gearing up for some extended fasting to fix this again. This time knowing that I cannot have sugar soda ever again… and I’ll probably always be using some form of fasting in my diet if I want to stay off meds.

I’m a 45 yr old female, going through menopause, 5’5" and this mornings weight was 218.7

Despite the dull info above, I actually AM very excited about this fast. There’s a lot going on in my life right now, lots of changes and some things that are just as likely to go south as they are to go well… Fasting feels knowable… like something I can control in the midst of a shit show. And, just for today, I need something that only my hands touch that I can manage any way I see fit.

Today was a good day. Relatively little hunger (due to stress lol) and just a little more tired here at the end. Nothing really to report except that I’m 28 hrs in, and all is well.

[Stacia]

I liked your post Renee and just want to tell you I’m rooting for you! I’m here too to drop the weight and learn to find peace in the chaos without turning to food to cope! Good luck to ya, we can do this!

[Kristy]

Renee, you’ve already done so much amazing work! You are already successfully fighting against diabetes. You’re a warrior!

It’s completely understandable that Covid has been a trigger for stress. I couldn’t agree with you more about doing the type of fast that works best for you! (I’m totally addicted to coffee and nope… Life is hard enough without it so I’m not giving it up!). You’ve done so much work and realized your boundaries like not having soda etc to stay of medications. That is monumental work and you should be insanely proud of yourself!

This community is here to support you and we’re so glad to have your wisdom added to our ranks! Keep us posted and good luck!

[Sarah_T]

Renee!!! I am cheering for you!!!
A1C of 6 within 6 months??? WHAT!!! You’re AWESOME!!! You are a FIGHTER!!!
You can do anything!!

What is your plan as far this particular water fast? Just asking so we can support your best! It’s ok not to share or if you’re just feeling it by the day. Either way, we are here for you!!

[Renee_Osborne]

Thanks, Stacia. You’re absolutely right, we CAN do this!

[Renee_Osborne]

Awww, You guys are an EXCELLENT cheering section. Thanks for the support!
Sarah, So far the plan is just 925 hrs of fasting. Someone on the facebook group recently posted about an 888 hour fast (significant number for her) and I thought that was a really cool way to make it even more personal. Since I had just committed the evening before and started without a clear plan, I just adopted hers.
The last time I did this I started with keto for a month, then low cal, before attempting 16:8. 18:6, 23:1, ADF blah blah… so I don’t know if I’ll see significant change faster or what… ???
I’m symptomatic right now, high numbers/thirst/dizziness/nausea and my morning checks are consistently over 100 again so I think extended is the way to start… See if I can quickly correct some of the mess I’ve made. Looking to do 10 days minimum and evaluate from there. I may need to keep going for quite some time, and I may be able to switch it up to 5-7 day fasts with a meal between or ketoOMAD… I don’t really know. It all depends on what happens with the numbers. But 925 hrs puts my end time at Thursday October 8th @ 8:17 am. I mean, I can’t fix it by then but I should know by day 10-15ish if I need to stick with straight water or if I can make a fasting schedule that includes some food breaks. It’ll be a little up in the air until then.

[Renee_Osborne]

Day 2 is wrapped up. Morning weight was 217.8. No real hunger yet, but I had to go to bed after I made dinner for the family… wasn’t really tired, but I was mad that I couldn’t eat. Lol It looked fantastic.
I’m a better cook when I’m fasting. I have more time in the day so I slow down and focus more on the process. I usually love to join them at the table and enjoy them enjoying it… but I was sure I would come off like a puppy, sad that he couldn’t have table food. Lol

Still feeling fine, as expected. I did decide to make a batch of keto water a few minutes ago to start electrolytes. Something about that flavor grounds me. I was feeling nervous about tomorrow (big kinda stressful day) and as soon as the water started going down I was already feeling calmer. I was struck by the thought that I may be conditioned… like that salty flavor is a reminder that I’m doing what I need to do for me. I’ll ponder that some more, but I do like feeling like I’m doing what I need to do to care for myself.
Decided to get pics and measurements tomorrow. I really enjoyed keeping up with that last summer/fall. It’d be nice to add it back in to keep me motivated.

[Sarah_T]

I enjoy water with ACV too especially cold. I get you about the sad puppy situation. but… WHERE ARE YOU!!! There is a lot crowd of people waiting to cheer you on over here!!

I also had not posted in 11 days and just updated so hopefully you are okay and just busy… Don’t runaway if you cheated! We love you regardless and you ARE taking charge of your health even if you are not doing the 925 hours of water fasting.

Listen, my dad (in his 60s) was insulin dependent, and developed Type 2 diabetes mostly due to stress. He was always a disciplined eater (with an athletic build that lasted long into his 50s, never had a belly). Many things happened (life) and he went from take a pill or 2 in the am to having to cover each meal (he still is not a big eater) with short acting insulting PLUS long acting for night and morning.

When he came to visit and stayed with us for 6 months, we said enough is enough. We are not going to be dependent on this stuff without trying another alternative. He wasn’t able to water fast (had no motivation to) but switching from 3 meals to eating at 11am and again at 6 pm for a few months did the trick. His numbers both fasting and after eating starting changing (his fasting numbers were like in the 200s most of the time prior to this) and now the highest it gets is in the 140s and that is only occasional. He is not longer needing insulin (although still takes his daily pills) except when there is a special occasion and he wants to enjoy the food like for a wedding or something of the sort. He visited on summer 2018, and continues IF, and the numbers continue to be this good.

Now I don’t know if, with his age, he could become completely independent from the pill because the nurse in me is thinking of the potential damage/wear on his liver and kidneys metabolizing and excreting all these chemical components for decades. But next time he visits for a long time, that will be our focus (fast longer in a cyclical manner and introduce more healthy fats and superfoods).

All that to say that, by all means, if you are able to go drastic, do it!! But it’s never a bad idea to start small and easy-er-ish. Maybe 3 days, refeed keto and repeat for a determined numbers of cycles, take a break and start again? Or combination of longer and shorter fasts? Regardless of what you choose to do, change or amend, we are here for you!! So come and update!!!

[Renee_Osborne]

Hey!!! Sorry I bailed for a bit. Life happened. Just popped in tonight to check in and saw your post. Feeling warm and fuzzy, thanks for checking on me. <3
On day 3 my oldest son (adult) bailed from the treatment facility he’s in and I was up close to 40 hours trying to find him. I decided to break and eat so I’d have the energy to do what was needed.
2nd son just started college and needed some extra support dealing with first real bout of homesickness , covid restrictions, and what’s going on with his brother… and then the two youngest, freshman and senior, needed full-time help with the online learning platform. It’s been non-stop mommin’ over here.
Btw, found oldest physically safe, though a bit broken. Had him home for a week to shore him up, and he just went back to try again.

So, the update? I broke the extended fast late in day 3, ate 2 low carb meals on day 4, moved to OMAD till the dust settled, and then went back to my extended fast. Just started on day 6 a few hours ago.

That was a mouthful, but Im proud that I managed to stay focused on my 925 commitment and keep it on the rails.
Today was a good day. Moderate hunger at normal mealtimes but nothing I couldn’t handle. Have outdoor brunch with friends early tomorrow and was feeling kinda sad about missing the food, Prosecco, and buzzy laughter. Even thought about breaking to participate…telling myself it would be awkward…but bought the fixings for my dish, made up my flavored water/electrolyte bottles, and am going to stick to my plan. They love me, understand why I need to do this, and won’t make a big deal about it anyway, so I was really just making excuses.

[Stacia]

Renee, just wanted you to know I’m prayin for you and your family… I have two older sons and about your age and weight and could totally relate to the chaos of mommy hood ! I felt like hugging you after reading about the first two sons and then you mentioned you had two more in high school navigating on-line schooling … I just about fell out of my chair. Momma, … hang in there!!! Absolutely don’t worry about a meal or a little something that wasn’t on your plan, you are doing amazing and it shows what strength you have to take care of your family AND yourself with everything going on! I did a 9 day and then a 5 day fast but since then I just havnt been able to get back into it so I’ve been doing OMAD the last week (which I’m super proud of not bingeing all day)… today will be 48 hours and I’ll do OMAD (I fasted yesterday which surprisingly was easy??)… I think taking the pressure off me is making a huge difference! You are doing amazing, keep going, one day at a time!! Super happy your boy is getting back to recovery … everything works out in the end!! Hugs !!

[Renee_Osborne]

Thank you, Stacia. It was a ride for sure, but something I noticed this time is that I was much more calm about how the stress would impact my plans. Before, I would have just said “screw it, can’t do this and that too”… This time there wasn’t any struggle when I knew I needed to eat, (stayed keto and only what I needed) and once we found my son, there wasn’t any question that I was going to roll back in, balancing taking care of them and taking care of me. When everyone was settling down, I went right back in to straight fasting without thinking about it. This feels like real progress. I’ve always put myself last, and I suppose that’s part of the job, but this time I weighed what I needed with what they needed and found a balance that worked.
It was less about excuses, or “having permission” to blow my goals… and more about how can I keep moving in the right direction while facing this challenge?
It feels good and I feel stronger.

Today was fantastic! I almost talked myself out of going again this morning… not much sleep, felt groggy, didn’t feel strong enough to cook but didn’t want to show up empty handed…
But, I got up, showered, fixed my hair and face and then walked over to the closet to try “those” jeans… when they slipped right on and zipped right up, I got such a feeling of peace. Like, yep, it was a shit show but you handled your business and look what happened! Boom.

Brunch was fabulous!!! I was tempted, that’s for sure, but there were a couple of ketoers and short term fasters there… and I openly admitted that I would be staring at them eating, enjoying it with my eyes! Lol It became a joke, we all enjoyed each other’s company, and after 5ish hours when I was getting tired (read weak willpower) I headed home for a much needed nap.
So day 6 is in the books and tomorrow I’ll decide how I’m proceeding from here. It was a good day.

[Stacia]

Awesome Renee!! We got this!

[Kyle]

Hey Renee,

Not sure of your situation with your older son but I can relate emotionally to the struggles of parenting. My youngest son (he’s 23) has been struggling w/addiction since his teens. It really puts the family through the wringer. If you ever want to talk, I’m here.

Don’t worry about ending your previous fast early… three days is still an accomplishment! I’m starting a 21 day fast this Sunday (Sept 20). If you want to do a longer fast soon, feel free to join.

Glad you came back and checked in… don’t hesitate to journal, whether fasting or not. There’s an amazing group of people here to support you.

[Renee_Osborne]

Thank you, Kyle. It’s so hard to watch them struggle, isn’t it? I just wish I could fix it for him. He’s closer today than he’s ever been, he’s at least is beginning to be honest…but I don’t know if he’s at the end of this road or not. I was really hopeful this time.

I just had broth a little bit ago, decided this morning that I was gonna break for a meal at the 7 day mark, and that’s at10pm. I’m terribly excited to eat! Lol

Rolling back into another 7 day after I eat. My weight is coming down but I still have quite a way to go before the metabolic damage is fixed. I’m okay with that. My feet don’t hurt anymore, my energy is way up, and my blood sugar says my body is happy with fasting…

I think I’m going to do ADF for a few weeks after this next fast, but I can decide that a little closer to then. Feeling like I can’t control everything, but I CAN control this… and there’s comfort and calm in that.

[Kyle]

It’s definitely a struggle w/the kids. My son did a long term treatment (14 months) as a teen, only to come out and go right back to his old lifestyle and did another long term treatment ( 8 months) and also came out and went back to the old lifestyle. I have come to accept unless he wants to change his path, no one can change it for him. I think letting go of our kids is the hardest part of parenting.
I really started turning to food as solace when my youngest son started spiraling down. Now comfort eating has become such a lifestyle of my own that I have to break that cycle before my health crumbles. I guess we all have our challenges that we must work through.

Happy to hear your 7 day mark is coming up!! So exciting! ENJOY!

So OMAD and then another 7 day? IMPRESSIVE!! I like your determination. There’s such a sense of empowerment when we take control of our health. That can be really helpful when our circumstances seem so out of control.

Have a nice meal tonight. Looking forward to reading about your journey. Glad you are here.