Miri’s daily journal

You’ve got an AMAZINGLY cute son :slight_smile::heart_eyes::slight_smile::grin::star_struck: He’s so adorable, both of You are :orange_heart::yellow_heart::green_heart::heart:
The smiles are so genuine, the picture is so so so incredibly nice!

Don’t You ever accompany those self harming thought with this beautiful picture, please :pray:

I know it’s hard :see_no_evil: Bodies change at different stages of our lives, they grow, they contract :sweat_smile::speak_no_evil: weird wording, believe me I know :rofl::rofl::rofl: They’re living organisms :slight_smile::heart_eyes::slight_smile::heart_eyes: and You can alter them at any point :round_pushpin: it’s time You simply altered it this way not the other :woman_shrugging: no over-thinking, just doing hi hi hi or rather “not doing” - isn’t that what fasting is all about :laughing::see_no_evil:

Have an amazing day, I envy you so much of your relationship with your husband.:heart: He sounds like a saint. Lucky catch :fishing_pole_and_fish::wink:

P. S. Lived in Maastricht - Brunssum through out my entire teenage years :grin: Ik been een drop zoethoutwortelextract ADDICT :candy: and how could i have forgotten about speculaas :cookie::cookie::cookie:

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:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:

You are absolutely right, I should not relate that picture with negative feelings, I’ll work on that!

Our son… yeah, he is adorable and we are so fortunate to have him in our lives.

We actually never thought we would have kids… after several miscarriages and being told I was too old to get pregnant, we sort of made our peace with it just being us two.

I started eating carnivore and half a year later I did get pregnant again, at age 44. (Found out on Valentine’s Day and our world turned upside down because by that time we were focused on our life without kids…)

But, 2 months later I had another miscarriage.

We decided to try one more time, but with medical help and so our son was born when I was 46…

He almost died at birth, seeing that I was “obese” and my doctor refused to do a c section, eventhough our son was having problems and I was not able to dilate fully.

I begged and begged for hours to please take him out, that I was exhausted and felt I could not continue (by that time I had a fever, was throwing up and had been at it almost 3 days) but they said it was too dangerous for me.

But then it turned into an emergency and even though I was not fully dilated, they tried pulling him out with a vacuum extraction. They failed three times at that, when they finally decided it was time for an emergency c-section.

We saw our son being taken out gray and lifeless and they had to reanimate him :disappointed_relieved::disappointed_relieved::disappointed_relieved:

So grateful that he is now 100% safe and healthy and the lack of oxygen has not caused any problems :four_leaf_clover::four_leaf_clover::four_leaf_clover::four_leaf_clover::pray:t3::pray:t3::pray:t3::pray:t3::heart::heart::heart::heart:

But yeah… I decided my weight would never impact his life ever again…

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:rofl: You will get there! Oh! And a sexy leg cross feels soooo good too. :wink:

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I bet anything sexy will feel good :rofl::rofl::rofl:

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:medal_sports:It’s simply a comment I’VE NEVER EVER EXPECTED!

SORRY, I was bussy for the past days.
You’ve got it… Wow, you’re a survivor :star_struck::star_struck::star_struck:

No words just pure inspiration :pray:

You have the WILL POWER, it’s just to USE IT in your case :slight_smile::heart_eyes::kissing_heart:

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Sooooooo

long time no writing…

I’m still “at it” though, learning as I go.

Been through an emotionally rough few weeks, dealing with crap from the past and working through that.

Weightloss had come to a stop. Actually went up, and down and up so not to happy about that.

BUT

I promised myself that I would see the 3 digit number on the scale go to 2 numbers before the end of 2020 and I am DETERMINED to do so.

I weighed in this morning at 106,2 kilos (after weighing 108,8 on Monday :cry: ) and as we speak, I am 84 hours into a fast.

I found out last weeks that I have a real issue with planning my fasts, so Sunday evening at 21:00 I just started, with an open end.

These 84 hours I have been going through all sorts of scenarios in my head.

  • Fasting till goal weight
  • ADF schedule
  • OMAD
  • Fasting through December
  • Rolling 48’s or 72’s

The 2 scenarios that are winners in my head, right now as we speak, are fasting till below current goal weight (which would be 99 kilos), refeed and continue in 2021.

OR

Fasting through December and start 2021 in a fasted state.

Which got me to thinking about my goals and why I want to lose weight in the first place again. Why is something that I think is so important for me, such a struggle and why do I keep going for quick fixes to feel instant happiness…

I guess right now, the first scenario is winning, basically because I do want to enjoy some Xmas- ood together with my husband and little boy (mind you, I guess that is what will be our “Xmas party” this year, with COVID)

So today is the 3rd of December… If I make it to the 16th of December, I could safely refeed, have meals together 24th-26th, do OMAD the last week of 2020 and start the new year in the 2 digits…

One small addition… The Xmas meals will be zero carb, to make it easier to get back into my routine in 2021!

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Well, december almost over. Just going to focus on staying safe and celebrate with my husband and son … it will be a Zoom Christmas with all relatives on videoconference. So we have to make the most of it.

2021 I will continue growing and fasting:

Goals for 2021:

  • to be able to fit in my goal jeans and get all Renpho scales numbers in the green which are now mostly orange and red (except for my height :rofl:)
  • go 100% carnivore and clean (and thus beat my carb addiction and cafeïne addiction)
  • make my website profitable to the extend of it making good money. I have a plan set up for that and will start working on it structurally once my baby boy is off to kindergarten in May.

First 3 days of the year will be beef and butter fast, then my focus will go to water fasting and walking a lot.

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I’ve been vegetarian most of my life but oooooo that sounds YUMMY! Keep us posted that’s super interesting! How will you cook the meat? Will you eat organ meats too?

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@Kristy It’ll be pretty straight forward, actually already prepared for this: I bought a ton of ground beef (with 25% fat) at my local butcher and it is in my freezer in 1 lbs huge big burger patties :sweat_smile::sweat_smile:

So the only thing I need to do is take one of those babies out, smear them with a bit of butter and put them in my preheated ninja foodi grill while frozen. 10 minutes later it’s done :heart:, just a bit more butter on top and that’s it :slight_smile:

So that will be it for the first 3 days. Just ground beef & butter (as much as I want) and water (trying to break my coffee habit as well…)

But after that, I will eat liver as well, but only because I really like that :rofl:

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Oh boy… to be totally transparent and accountable, here’s the screenshot of my Renpho app this morning.

Quite the shocker for me, seeing that I gained 5 kilos (!!!) this past month :confounded::confounded::confounded:

Big eyeopener :sob::sob::sob:

Seeing the above, dramatic results on my scale this morning, I am not going to wait till the first of January to take action.

Original plan was to do 3 days of Beef & butter fast to start 2021. Will still do that, but in the form of OMAD.

:arrow_right: Rest of January I will do ADF to prepare for:

:arrow_right: Fasting Full February

My original plan for 2021: First 101 days

  1. Zero carb :cut_of_meat::poultry_leg::fried_egg::fish:
  2. Alcohol-free :free::free::free:
  3. All water, plenty of it :droplet::droplet::droplet:
  4. 100% natural food :100:
  5. Daily positive Affirmations & Tapping
  6. Daily minimum of 10K Steps :medal_sports::medal_sports::medal_sports:

This is still in place.

BUT starting NOW I will go zero carb, up my water, eat just natural unprocessed food and walk minimum of 10.000 steps.

Also, seeing that my husband will be home starting tomorrow, I will start adding indoor cycling again.

As for daily journalling, I actually prefer handwriting my thoughts, so not sure how I can share that here? @Yasemin

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You could take photos of your journal and just post them here!

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Great idea!

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28th of December and I am thinking a LOT about the length I want to go.

As a matter of fact, I am playing out all these scenarios in my head (and have been doing so for quite a bit) and it actually lead me to one thing: NOT taking ANY action.

I would actually LOVE to fast to goal weight and seeing some people do it on Facebook is truest inspiring!

But I don’t think it is realistic in my life.

So I am thinking a lot about what my goals are and why I choose fasting to be part of my strategy. And the more I think, the more I do NOT know which would be BEST

As if it needs to be perfect… which is of course bulls**t!

I have a history of addiction.

I am a smoker. I smoked for many many years, at least a pack a day. I had two periods where I did not smoke (once 1 year, once 2 years) and both times I went from not smoking to smoking a pack a day, after taking 1 inhalation.

The last time I smokes was 11 years and 3 weeks ago. I do realize though, that taking just one inhalation, I will be smoking again.

So I don’t.

I am a huge Diet Coke addict. I can drink big size bottles of this stuff daily. But March 2020 was the last time I even had a sip of it. I plan on not taking another sip for the rest of my life, because on earlier occasions, it showed me that I will drink bottles a day again.

I feel I have the same with caffeine (5-6 cups a day) and carbs. (Even a whole grain cheese sandwich can send me into an eating spell including chocolates and candy I don’t like and makes me feel sick)

So for me, I feel that right now, the best thing I can do, is actually pick my battles.

I feel the caffeine (although it picks me up in the morning) makes me irritable during the afternoon and sleep badly during the night. And although I :heart: my early morning coffee, it is something I want to stop using to feel better. Because in the end it does not.

So coffee is out. I did not have my morning coffee this morning and will give it a few days to see what difference it makes.

As for food, I am eliminating all carbs for these coming weeks and see how it makes me feel.

Being in ketosis will hopefully help me burn fat and make fasting easier.

For now, the fasting will be on a “take it as it comes” schedule, probably leading to OMAD and ADF.

Which, if it means I am progressing with my goals, will be absolutely fine by me.

And then there is the issue of the scale.

Some say weigh daily, others say don’t bother.

I believe in trends. When I get on the scale and see a lbs up or down, I’m not fussed.

But I do need to check to avoid an upward trend over weeks.

So I bought a Renpho scale that shows trends on my :iphone: and just this morning I ordered the tape measure that connects with the same app.

Weighing will be daily, measuring will be weekly.

That’s it for now :slight_smile:

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How about decaf? I know it’s kind of a “why bother” thing but it is really nice to have a hot cup first thing in the morning.

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Great suggestion!

But I’m comparing it a bit to when I quit smoking, I did not use nicotine plasters either… and I just want to quit coffee, rid myself of addictions, so decaf probably is best avoided too in that case

:slight_smile:

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Picking our battles is half our struggle in life. Alot of us tend to be all in or all out.
I find fasting helps me quit smoking, I stopped a few weeks before this fast and then once I started I’ve not had a single craving since.
But I have already faced my caffine addiction to keep me going through life and then addressed my diet which was lacking hense the need for the caffeine.
Fasting just helps me take a steady approach to life a few times a year. Time to slow down, acknowledge how my body feels, where my brain is at, what thoughts reoccur and they stand me in good stead for the next challenge… Which is ALWAYS trying to eat enough :joy: I basically suppliment with oil :sob: which isn’t ideal but it’s better than energy drinks and cigarettes

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The 30th of December

Caffeine free, halfway through day 3 and feeling positive that I can actually break my coffee habit.

Day 1 & 2 were rough, day 3 is kinda okay so far.

I picked up a book to read (Fasting, by Elisabeth Moore) and actually got inspired by it.

So I have finally decided on a schedule: ADF

Starting the 2nd of January!!

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You are a goddess a supreme being! I bow down to you! (I can give up almost anything- not coffee)

Day 6 today! :muscle:t2:

And it sort has become an non-issue. The only moment that I feel like a cup, is when my husband makes one for himself and I smell it :sweat_smile::sweat_smile:

No need to bow, this is proving pretty easy so far, I have a harder time giving up all carbs!

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