Day 1
So I had a brief moment earlier today where my mind jumped to, “ehh, I don’t want to fast right now…” and cue the endless reel of reasons why I don’t need to fast right now. I was triggered. Not entirely sure what the trigger was, but nonetheless, triggered.
And I’ve been here before (as I’m sure many of you have been), stuck between a “trigger” and the behavior that usually follows, but one that I am so desperately trying to change. Will I throw my hands up and say f**k it, I’m eating or show some restraint and move forward. Obviously, I’m aiming for the latter.
But as my mind went back and forth, (an endless yo-yo of will I or won’t I) I began to notice the subtle signs of my anxiety building. My breath was shallow, my palms clammy with sweat, and I was practically pacing back and forth in the kitchen. The thing is, breaking a habit is not just a mental game. There is an unpleasant physical reaction that occurs when we deny ourselves a behavior that has become habitual. I can’t help but compare us to Pavlovs dogs.
Pavlov was a scientist who did a study in which he would ring a bell and then immediately feed his dogs. Everyday—ring a bell, feed the dogs. He continued this to the point where the dogs would salivate everytime they heard a bell whether they were being fed or not. The dogs had become conditioned by habit to expect food everytime they heard a bell and would therefore salivate. An unstoppable physical reaction was born.
“OK, what’s your point, Mary?” My point is, waterfasting is difficult because we are conditioned to eat everyday and even though we make a very conscious decision to stop this behavior, we must realize (and more importantly accept) that half the battle is enduring the physical sensations of anxiety that will inevitably arise during this time (especially during the first 1-3 days). I personally find that the anxiety is much more difficult to deal with than the physical sensations of hunger.
So if your someone like me who struggles with constantly starting and quitting fasts only to try again tomorrow, consider learning and developing healthy ways to cope with anxiety. I typically resort to physical exercise in the form of long walks and yoga to combat water fasting induced anxiety. I’ve struggled with developing a solid meditation practice but I recognize the benefits and am working on it. Something as simple as focusing on your breath for a few minutes can ease tension and put you into a more relaxed state. And when you’re relaxed, you’re better able to make clear-headed decisions.
Remember, there is always a moment (a pause if you will) between a “trigger” and a “behavior.” That is your opportunity. That is when you decide to act differently. And that’s how you achieve change.
What are some ways you all cope with anxiety (if you have it) during fasts?
