Luis' (Daily) Journal

07.05.2020

My name is Kim-Luis and I’m 19 years old.
I have been suffering from an eating disorder (non-purging bulimia) for more than 6 years now. I never really have been overweight but I was extremely underweight in 2018 and 2019 because I fasted 3-4 days a week for many months. Fasting never was THE problem for this issue. It was my mind. It was my mind and my eating disorder. I told myself I was too fat, too ugly, too small, too this and too that. I hated myself for the way I looked. So I fasted way too much even when I already was sick enough. I started at 50 kg (june 2018). When I weighed 39,6 kg (may 2019) I knew it was time to recover. It was hard. Really hard. I gave up fasting and ate every day (first one meal a day and a few weeks later two meals a day, but now I know that plant based OMAD is better for me). I could eat a lot because my stomach was used to expanding a lot. The reason for that is that I binged on food many many times for years because my weak body wanted energy so bad. I binged on dates, dried figs, peanut butter, oatmeal, bananas, potatoes, bread, vegetables, chocolate and much more.
Once I fasted for two or three days and binged at night on many fruit & nut bars and on chocolate. The day after the binge I suffered from the refeeding syndrome and almost died. I never want to feel like this again.
I gained a lot of weight because I had extreme hunger in my recovery. My highest weight was 59 kg a few weeks ago. Then I did a 13 day water fast and got to 53,4 kg. The main reason wasn’t my weight. I want my skin to get healthier (I have psoriasis on my scalp since 2017 and in general my skin is too dry), I want my kidneys to stop hurting (every time I binge my kidneys start to hurt), I want to be more spiritual, I don’t want to be addicted to food anymore (food is fuel and not a great way to cope with feelings) and I want to benefit from atophagy as much as possible. I want to feel clean. But I will never ever let myself become weak and underweight from fasting again.
Fasting should be a way to heal the body not to destroy it. I will listen to my body just as I did on my 13 day water fast. I first wanted to make it to 30 days but my body told me that 30 days were too much.
The water fast ended about a week ago and I’m ready and enthusiastic to start another one because my refeeding phase wasn’t as good as I planned (I didn’t want to eat highly processed foods but I did it anyways on day 3 or 4 of my refeed). So after my next fast my refeed will be better. Only fruit for three days and then I include vegetable soups, small amounts of tofu and nicely cooked vegetables. After 5-7 days I’ll include potatoes, small amounts of legumes and ground flax seeds. When I feel good I will include more and more foods to my whole food plant based diet and do OMAD like usual.
I want to fast at least for 21 days but if my body tells me to refeed earlier, I will listen to my body.

Fasting wasn’t the problem. My sick mind was.

1 Like

Welcome Kim-Luis :slight_smile: I can relate a lot to your story! May I ask how tall you are?

I’m 1,56 m (=5ft 1,4 inches)

Welcome to our fasting community!

Technical note: to keep future entries on this single thread, click on reply in the lower right hand corner.

I suggest you read @Anna DJ on her successful 30-day fast. Her primary goal was addressing her mental issues. She also wrote an excellent ReFeed guide for Vegetarians/Vegans:
REFEED TIPS - (Vegan/Vegetarian version) - by Anna

2 Likes

Yesterday (08.05.2020) was the first day of my water fast and it went well. Better than I thought it would. My hunger wasn’t as extreme as I expected but I wanted to eat so badly. I thought about pasta, nicecream, dried fruit, salad, stir-fried vegetables, tofu and bread. But what I wanted more were the benefits of fasting.
I want to feel good like I did on my 13-day water fast so it’s important to remember the big WHY. Why do I want to fast?

  1. for healthy skin (I just hope that my psoriasis gets better fast after fast)
  2. for a healthy gut
  3. for healthy kidneys that don’t hurt anymore
  4. for spirituality
  5. for treating my food addiction
  6. for all the other benefits of atophagy

I try to motivate myself by remembering these reasons.

Yesterday’s symptoms:
My stomach was growling really loud and often but like I said, it wasn’t as extreme as I expected.
My legs hurt a bit because of mild muscle cramps.
I felt a bit cold.

Activity:
I didn’t do much yesterday. I was studying for my final exams, watched some YouTube videos and danced 45 minutes in the evening.
Rest is important to heal the body.

I’m curious how the next days go :slightly_smiling_face:

3 Likes

Monitor those leg cramps as that can be a symptom of potassium deficiency. You may need some kind of supplement.

1 Like

I took some himalayan salt and my muscle cramps are gone :slight_smile:

2 Likes

I made it to day 3 of my water fast and I feel great. But now I will talk about yesterday (may 9th).
I was dreaming about breaking my fast with stir fried vegetables. I always have those weird dreams when I fast.
My stomach was still growling loud and often.
I was feeling better than the first day (mental clarity, concentration) but I still felt cold.
In the afternoon I felt really energized and motivated so I danced and in the evening I did a gentle yoga flow which was very relaxing. After that my energy decreased and I felt a bit weak. At the same time I was breathing more slowly. I drank some herbal tea and watched three or four episodes of “The Big Bang Theory”. I was studying as much as I could that day so earned it :smile:. Despite feeling weak I didn’t go to sleep until 3am (may 10th).

1 Like

The reason you feel cold is your metabolism will temporarily slow down as a result of you not eating. It will speed back up when you fully switch into full ketosis once your body has depleted its glycogen stores which is about a 3 to 4 day process.

2 Likes

Thank you for your answer :slight_smile: I’m patient in this process

1 Like

Well done on making it to day 3! I’ve been drinking tea like crazy on this fast, as I seem to crave warm liquids which is totally unlike me (I’m someone who can’t get enough ice in my drinks lol). The Big Bang Theory is a great show to have on in the background if your mind isn’t really wanting to focus too much. Have a great day 3!

1 Like

Thank you :blush:! I’m wishing you a great day 11 :wink:
I was craving warm liquids today, too so I drank two cups of coffee even though I’m not really a coffee drinker (I’m more of a tea drinker :tea:). Sparkling water also fills me up so I drank that as well.

2 Likes

Day 3 (May 10th)
My mental clarity increased tremendously and my concentration was on point so I was studying really hard for my “Abitur” (it’s similar to graduating high school) exams. My first final exam is on may 15th and I’m already very nervous. There are five exams in total and I will be so happy when I’m done with it. On june 11th I’ll be finally done with school.
Fasting improves my concentration which is great when I have to learn so much. Of course I take enough breaks :wink:.
I feel how my spirituality is growing from day to day and I definitely feel more inner peace.
I danced a bit but I felt my energy decreasing while I did it. But my overall energy is still within a healthy range.
Distractions from wanting to eat are working well for me. Studying. Dancing. Music. YouTube videos. My appetite isn’t even that big anymore and my stomach is growling not that often and loud as on day 1 and 2.
Next to sparkling water I drank two cups of black coffee because I read that it boosts atophagy and I wanted to drink something warm that has actually a flavour.
In the evening the muscle cramps started again (in my thighs) and that was quite uncomfortable. I will soon take potassium and magnesium supplements for this issue.
What I noticed is that my tongue doesn’t have that much of a white coating as it had on my 13 day water fast. This is a bit unusual but I can’t complain. I guess it’s because my body already was detoxing so much on my last fast so now the focus is maybe on my skin. My psoriasis on my scalp got just a tiny bit worse but this won’t discourage me.
Before it gets better it will get worse. It’s often like that. At least my facial skin feels slightly cleaner and softer now.

2 Likes

Great post!

1 Like

Thank you! :smiley:

Day 4 (may 11th)
What a terrible night.
I couldn’t sleep at all because I experienced some heart palpitation, dizzyness, lightheadedness and again… muscle pains (cramp). To treat the muscle pain I ordered magnesium and potassium supplements online the day before. Therefore I couldn’t take any supplements because I had to wait for them. I wished I had anything to take to make me feel better but unfortunately I hadn’t. So in the middle of the night I made my way to the fridge, took a piece of diced watermelon (leftovers from my mom) and I just touched that little piece barely with my tongue. Then I paused.
No, I couldn’t just break this fast now. I knew that I can go through it. A few moments later I went back to my bed and was really proud of myself for not breaking this fast.
That night I just layed in bed and tried to sleep but I couldn’t. So I gave up trying and just scrolled through instagram to look up healthy vegan recipes that I would like to try out sometime.
At 4am I felt a bit better and didn’t panic anymore about the symptoms I had before.
At 7am I got up and took a shower. Despite the lack of sleep I felt relatively energized. After getting ready for the day I went outside with my dad to go to the pharmacy so I could buy magnesium and potassium. I didn’t want to wait until my supplements had arrived.
My motivation was lower than the day before but I was studying for my exams anyway, especially in the evening.
Although I took my supplements and himalayan salt I felt a little bit of pain in my thighs but I was glad that it wasn’t that extreme as the day before.
After studying I went to the bathroom to get ready for bed and I noticed some kind of a mild rash (just a few red dots that didn’t hurt or feel itchy) on my chest where I also had psoriasis once. I heard that this kind of experience is normal in order to heal once and for all. I just accepted it.
The next days I won’t be that active at this forum but I’ll keep you updated if I experience any significant changes. I want to focus more on studying.

2 Likes

Yes, the phenomenon is called Keto Rash and is usually experienced by those with sensitive skin.

Hope you feel better.

1 Like

Yes, thanks, I’m feeling better right now :blush:

2 Likes