Hi, Long time lurker… first time Journal-er.
Today is Day 2 of my fast… I wanted to make sure I surpassed day one before I started my journal. I have done too many “Day One’s”… if you know what I mean.
Im a 44 yr old single mom of two adult sons.
My oldest son is intellectually disabled/autistic and I’m his 24/7 Caregiver. My youngest son lives in another state from us. My youngest son struggles w/addiction. Drug Addiction is a Bitch. Autism is a Bitch. As a parent, I’ve learned you can’t fix these things or even necessarily change them. But I can change what I need to change for myself. Thats my situation.
I abuse food. Food has been my friend for FAR too long. I’m surprised I am not heavier than I am considering how major a role food has in my life. I like to cook, I watch cooking shows and look up recipes. I go to restaurants. I think the majority of our budget goes toward food. Those people who clean out their pantry, saying if it’s not in the house they won’t eat it… Yeah, not me. I will drive in my car to get (fill in the blank). Food is a celebration, food is comfort, food lifts my mood, food calms me down, food for boredom, food is always there. It’s unfortunate we need food to live, because it will always need to be managed as opposed to quitting it “cold turkey”. I’ve never had a problem with alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, gambling… so I guess food is my vice and I eat to avoid my emotions. I want to break up with this bad habit. It has robbed the last decade of my life and I don’t want to give it any more of my time.
Like I said earlier, today is Day 2 of my water fast. I’m going for 7 days. I like the idea of going longer than 7. But 7 is my current goal. The longest I have gone so far is 4.5 days. That was a LONG time ago.
Well, thats my story. Day one wasn’t bad. Spent most of it driving 450 miles from a road trip. Slept like a ROCK and day two has been good so far. A few little waves of hunger, but manageable. Had a bit of salt, potassium and magnesium. Currently at hour 42.
Starting weight… IDK but I weighed a couple weeks ago and it was 169.
Going to weigh in on Day 7.
I’m 5’6 tall.
Would like to be in low 130’s to fit into my wardrobe again. I have clothes w/tags still on them from 5 years ago.
My main focus is learning how to cope with life without using food as a coping mechanism. It will be a journey and undoing 44 yrs of an unhealthy relationship w/eating.