Kristy's Journal

[Kristy]

I drink 6-8 liters of fluids a day. Am I crazy? Not doing so hot mentally today. Cried a bit this morning after seeing pictures of where my brother lives in California. With everything happening in the world I have this impending sense of dread that I can’t shake off.

I’m very dedicated to doing longer fasts (not more than 3-7 days since that would be very unwise with my condition) when the time is right. However, I don’t know what to do when I’m ALWAYS hungry. I’m assuming this has to do with the endurance training and the body recomp I’m doing. I hear all of your wonderful stories about the hunger decreasing and that is not the case for me lately. Before I started training I was able to consistently do alternate day or OMAD but now I can barely do 20:4. This is transient and I need to listen to my body. I have lost 40 lbs over the last year. Although I would like to get to a healthier BMI, I know the weight gain wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t a lack of discipline or an unhealthy diet. It was weird because I couldn’t eat anything without throwing up every hour for months and was still packing on weight. I know this was due to my illness and the horrible side effects of medications but I must admit I’m a bit envious of those that seem to “power” through it. I’m anything but weak or undisciplined. I’m only alive because of my insane willpower and refusal to die. But this obstacle is bugging me. Something I need to work on, accept, and cultivate loving kindness towards.

I might be swimming less once we get Data but after watching this video I’m sure I’ll still get some cardio in!

[Miramar]

It’s an emotional year in general. Good year to get it all out.

I’m laughing now about the puppies trailing back and forth .

[Kristy]

Was only able to swim for an hourish yesterday. Went to yoga in the morning because I needed the community and boy was that a bad idea. I couldn’t do any of the asanas and it was my first time in many months that I got onto the floor. My back is paying the price today. Looks like yoga is out for the foreseeable future. Yoga was also uncomfortable because everyone wanted to special order pastries from me. They’re very use to me saying yes so they were put off by my firm no.

Ate some popcorn with EVOO, salt, nutritional yeast, and cayenne pepper yesterday. Also a couple pieces of grilled tofu. Lost some weight. I know I lost more than the scale reported because I had a couple of wooshes after I had my coffee. Finished the fasting lane. Really enjoyed it.

Today I splurged and bought some of my favorite freeze dried powdered heavy cream, cheddar cheese, and butter. I love adding the powdered butter and cheese w/some evoo to my popcorn or broccoli. Freeze dried ingredients are some of my secret weapons to pushing foods over the edge from delicious to OMFG. When we go pick up Data in Des Moines we’ll make a special trip to Whole Foods. I’m going to call them today and special order my all time favorite cheese. I was looking at their Keto products and I was totally put off. All the refined ingredients, Yuck!

Really missing my Asian grocery stores (I use to live in the Vietnamese part of Chicago). I could buy a huge variety of awesome dried mushrooms to make mushroom broth with for dirt cheap prices. Next trip home I guess.

[Kristy]

Unfortunately I had to cave yesterday and take the prescription pain meds. Ugh I hate narcotics. Surprisingly, I was able to do OMAD after a 26 hour fast. I made some chili. I doctored mine with with some local habenero cheese and sour cream from a amish/menonite dairy nearby. I was not a huge fan of dairy before I moved to Iowa. But now that I live in the heart of dairy country and have access to fresh local milk/milk products I am enjoying them quite a bit. I strongly believe in supporting local farmers whenever and as much as possible. None of the dairy here is homogenized and it’s sooo good. I also get this out of this world local butter that is a whopping 88% fat! (American butter tops out at 72% and European ,especially french, butter usually maxes out around 82%) When we eventually leave IA I’ll probably go off dairy again.

Yesterday was the first day in a very long time that I craved carbs. I was making toasted corn tortillas for my husband and It really made me nostalgic for the time when we live in Austin, TX and got fresh local tortillas, tamales, and roasted poblanos every day.

I’m noticing I can eat more carbs (beans and veggies) in a day and still stay in ketosis about 1.5-2mmol as long as I only eat once or twice a day.

Now reading Mindful Eating and after that a short book called Buddha’s diet. I am an audible plus member and they just made a ton of books free so I got about 15 books about Buddhism and meditation. I have most of them in paperback but it’ll be nice to have them in audio form.

Swimming in the afternoon. Not sure when I’ll eat. Don’t want to have a big meal before swimming but will need something. Maybe a scoop of nut butter. I’m almost out so I plan on making more this week. I have brazil, maccademia, hazelnut, pecans, walnuts, almonds, flax and chia meal. Roast 'em up, add a bit of salt, grind and boom! Da best nut butter ever.

[Kristy]

Planning our trip to Des Moines to pick up Data. For lunch we’ll get pho (pretty much our favorite soup). I’ll ask them to hold the noodles and add extra veggies and tofu. Then we’ll get Indian to go. We’ll pick up some yummies at whole foods- Sushi for my husband and veggie spring rolls for me (That I will deconstruct and take out of rice wrapper). I also super dooper want a seaweed salad. I figure if I have a meal plan set in place I won’t become ravenous and go to the specialty mac n cheese/ panini restaurant.

[Kristy]

Still being very cautious with my tender back. Not able to swim as long or do my PT exercises in the water. Will need to take pain medication today. Lost more weight and have gone deeper into ketosis. Successfully fasting 24-26 hours. However, I’ve had to have heavy cream in my coffee in the mornings. I’m not sure why but if my tummy is grumbling it makes my back hurt worse. Same thing goes with my period.

Reading a wonderful book titled Mindful Eating. It’s an informative joy. It helps me understand my hunger and how we “feed” our sense organs. It does a very through job explaining our hunger on a conscious level. It explains that when we are not mindful we mistake our sense/emotional “hunger” for company/loneliness, or overfeeding/stimulation due to media consumption, our unhealed/ignored spirit and a bunch of other things with physical hunger. When we don’t look deeply to see what part of us is hungry and needs satisfactio/ nourishment we mindlessly eat food to satisfy undernourished parts of ourselves. Because we are not paying mindful attention to eating/what we consume through our sense organs we remain hungry, unsatisfied, and in a perpetual positive feedback loop of our destructive emotions like shame.

I did OMAD yesterday and broke my fast after 26 hours. I was hungry but didn’t feel like I had to eat. However, I also knew that with swimming and how fasting effects my sleep that I would face undesirably consequences if I didn’t eat. After eating some of my chili (I wasn’t able to finish the portion I gave myself) my tummy was not happy. It was unsettled and had a couple unpleasant BM. It took me 20+ minutes to eat. I took small spoonfuls, looked at the food, put it in my mouth noticing the flavors and textures as I chewed about 20 times a bite, and then put my spoon down and breathed deeply with gratitude. As I chewed each bite I thought about the farmers who grew my food and the land they worked/cared for, the suppliers who brought it to the stores, and the store workers that have taken great risks to be available during these scary times. Eating this way has done wonders for my mood, perspective, and spirit.

Need to make a choice about swimming today. Is my back up for it or will it make it worse?

[Kristy]

Oh I forgot. I saw someone used the LIFE app so I got it and love it. Does anyone that uses it have any premade circles I can join. WOOT

[Miramar]

We have a few members of our forum here:

[Stacia]

Kristy, that book sounds great, I’ll look into it as it probably sums up all my “food/weight/eating when emotional” issues. Thank you for recommending it!! I hope your back feels better and congrats on the weight loss, it’s such an added bonus to all the work being done … hang in there

[eddy]

Hi @Kristy, @Stacia - I’m also interested in the book

Who is the author?

[Kristy]

@eddy @Stacia the book Mindful Eating: recovering your health and joyful relationship with food is authored by Jan Chozen Bays M.D.

[Kristy]

The pain meds really messed with my digestion yesterday and I ended up fasting for 21 hours but needed to eat two meals later on in the day. Feeling high is extremely unpleasant but it helped me sleep through some of the pain. Was grateful to be able to swim for an hour this morning.

The mindful eating book is so illuminating. I already “know” (that’s not the right word/concept but it’ll have to do) about mindful eating/cooking from my years of practice as a Buddhist and chef but having it described so simply and compassionately is helping me become/awaken to practicing mindfulness with all of my hungers. All of this reminded me of the time I studied the works of the Zen (Chan) monk Dogen. Many of his writings emphasize cooks/cooking foods in a mindful way. Here is an excerpt from

Instructions for the Cook ( Tenzo kyôkun )

*Recorded in the spring of the third year of the Katei era [1237] *
as instruction for accomplished practitioners of the way in the future.

*Recorded by the dharma-transmitting monk Dôgen, *
abbot of the Kannon Dôri Kôshô Hôrin Zen Monastery

"What is regarded as the preparation of superb delicacies is not necessarily superior, nor is the preparation of a soup of the crudest greens necessarily inferior. When you select and serve up crude greens, if you do so with a true mind, a sincere mind, and a pure mind, then they will be comparable to superb delicacies. Why is that so? Because when one enters into the pure and vast oceanic assembly of the buddha dharma, superb delicacies are never seen and the flavor of crude greens does not exist: there is only the one taste of the great sea, and that is all. Moreover, when it comes to the matters of nurturing the sprouts of the way and nourishing the sacred embryo, superb delicacies and crude greens are as one; there is no duality. There is an old saying that a monk’s mouth is like a stove. 21 You must not fail to understand this. You should think that even crude greens can nourish the sacred embryo and nurture the sprouts of the way. Do not regard them as base; do not take them lightly. A teacher of humans and devas is able to regard crude greens as things that convert and benefit [beings].

When you prepare food and cook it you should do so with the aspiration of taking tens of thousands of births and concentrating them into this one day, this one time, that you may be able to bind together in good karmic result the bodies of millions of [past] births. A mind that contemplates and understands things in this way is a joyful mind. Truly, even if one takes on the body of a wheel-turning holy king, if one does not prepare meals as offerings to the three jewels, in the end it has no benefit. It is only of the nature of water, froth, bubbles, or flames."

[Miramar]

Aka “cook with love.”

[Kristy]

Let you’re eyes feast on my new monster! We bring him home in a week!

[Kyle]

[Kristy]

Wish I could swim today! Woke up with more energy than I know what to do with and much deeper into ketosis than I thought I’d be. Yesterday I ate my last bit of nutbutter, a slice of grilled tofu, and popcorn loaded with nutritional yeast, EVOO, and cayenne pepper. Thought that would lower my ketones for sure. However, the swimming and OMAD must be keeping me in ketosis. Have to run my dogs , Doodlebug and Dax, to the groomers so they can be presentable when we bring home Data and go to PT.

Will swim tomorrow. My husband, Kelly, has a 3 day weekend and I’m debating whether or not I’m going to swim those days. The clock for swim days is running out and I want to get in as much as possible before my puppy hiatus. Have a long list of "to dos’ today so I’ll be as active as I can- motion is lotion! Talked with one of my dr’s yesterday and he thinks my period/mood issues is related to my thyroid (of course I have issues regulating all my hormones) so I’m going to see my endocrinologist in a couple of weeks. Another neurology appointment in a couple of weeks. Not looking forward to so much time in the car.

Getting the photo of Data made my day

[Miramar]

I found jalapeno powder in the store yesterday! I thought about how good that might be with a cheese powder on popcorn.

Badia is the brand if that interests you.

[Kristy]

drool… isn’t amazon one click shopping just a tad too easy?! Thanks for the idea!

[Miramar]

Oh my goodness that is expensive on amazon!

Hopefully you can call around and maybe find it in your store somewhere.

I see another brand there too on the search.

Hey! I also just recently looked up making my own garlic and onion powder! I’m going to try soon. I go through onion powder the most.

[Kristy]

I live in the middle of no where IA. 45 minutes away from a decent grocery store… And this was an awesome find @Miramar ! I get very culinary bored out here surrounded by inedible corn and soybeans

Also know that I am a gourmet chef who is always on the prowl for new, crazy, and exotic things to experiment with. I’m thinking of using this powder with: ultra dark chocolate truffles with cocoa nibs (with a bit of chili powder, cinnamon, grand marnier, and smoked maldon salt) corn fritters, an awesome addition to soups, topped on fresh fruit, roasted veggies, like you said POPCORN! (omg omg omg i love popcorn), Christmas popcorn balls, and I do savory/sweet nut brittles for the holidays too so I’ll probably make a pumpkin seed brittle with cocao nibs, some of the powder, a tiny bit of cinnamon. Oh and my pastry specialty is marshmallows. So a Mexican style corn souffle with caramelized jalapeno marshmallows on top… And that’s just the stuff off the top of my head! It might add a nice addition to my margarita macaron too…

I mostly don’t miss my patisserie but I have been wishing I could make some of my favorite fall entremets. A black sesame white chocolate mousse with a yuzu gelee, with a roasted sesame praline on top of a lighter than air vanilla sponge cake covered in a raspberry white chocolate miso mirror glaze.

@Miramar making your own powders requires a bit of specialized equipment and a lot of time/effort. It also takes A TON of onions and/or garlic to make just a tiny bit of the end product. Fun to play with, but if you use it in bulk I doubt it would be worth it. I hope you try, though, and have a lot of fun with it. You never know until you try!