Today is Day 1 of my 3 day water fast. Last meal was 8pm 10/26. I have never made it past 2 days.
I am 5’4 and weigh 194.
I am doing this to lose all of this extra fat weighing me down and to HEAL my body. In the last 6 months my knees constantly hurt. I feel achey all over, all the time. I am 39 years old and feel 70.
I am a single mom of 3 kids, ages 9, 7 and 2.
I want to be able to run and play with them. I do not want my kids to be embarrassed of me. I want them to see that i can actually set my mind to something and do it. Not just wish for it or talk about it. I want them to see health as a priority, and not food.
I WILL do this!
No matter how hard it is mentally or physically. I will prove to myself that I am stronger than my food addiction.
Julie's daily journal
Julie,
Congrats on taking the first step! How are you doing? I know you said you are on a 3 day water fast, but if you get to 3 days, and decide to consider doing it for longer, there are a ton of us doing 21 days. Days 1-3 in my experience have been the hardest and that’s the same thing most people tend to say.
You remind me a lot about how I feel about myself. I’ve said for so long that I want to be able to do more with my daughter, don’t want her to feel embarrassed of me, see me accomplish my goals, see me lead by example. I was a single mom for most of my daughter’s life. My daughter is 13 now and I feel like I’ve let time pass me by. I’ve had a lot of significant autoimmune issues in the last year and a half that has caused me to gain even more weight, even when all I was trying to do was loose the excess weight I had already put on. I’m getting married in February and I don’t want to look back anymore with regret. We are going to Mexico for a destination wedding and I want to run on the beach with all of our kids and family. I want to be in a swimsuit and not feel embarrassed. I want to see myself on the outside the way I know I am on the inside. I want to not feel weighted down physically and mentally any more. It’s been truly draining and exhausting.
I started day 1 with everyone else, then even though I made it through the whole day, I convinced myself once again I really intended to start Nov. 1 so I broke my fast that night (I wasn’t even hungry). I was fine with my decision at first, but after a few hours I felt disappointed and ashamed of myself. I decided regardless of what I thought I was going to convince myself, I am going to get back on the wagon even though I had already fallen off.
Then I noticed someone had responded to my original day 1 journal where I mentioned that I always make it to 3 or 4 days, feel fine, but manage to convince myself to change my goals… and he asked me why I feel the need to self sabotage. I am past the hardest part, it isn’t because I feel ill or starving… I just convince myself to change my mind… even though I have solid goals and reasons why. He was right. I’ve been self sabotaging for so long because of how I feel about myself (due to health and some significant work issues that have made me feel so depressed)… it’s as if I haven’t been able to allow myself to be successful with much of anything. I decided that had to change. NOW.
I decided if I fall off the wagon somewhere on my journey, I’m going to get up, dust myself off, get back in the wagon and continue to the end of my 21 days, remembering how it made me feel when I convinced myself it was okay to change my goals. If I fall again, I’m going to do the same thing. I won’t let myself get in my own way.
This is your fast, your journey. While you have other people on the journey with you, myself included, this is YOUR journey for you to decide if you are going to make it through to the finish line. Think of a race or other event… sometimes it may be about finishing. Doesn’t mean we aren’t a little scraped up and bruised or limping over the final line. Do this for you!
You can do it! We are in this together, and if you decide to extend and go longer, you have a whole community right here by your side.