Intro
Hi, I’m Jewell! I’m so happy to find this forum, as I think community and accountability are so important for this process (and most personal growth processes). I’ve been inspired by the stories I’ve seen thus far through this group, and look forward to continuing to learn from and support each of you.
Why
I am currently a graduate student. I’ve gained about 15 lb over the last few years, due to a few reasons: on a superficial level, school has been super stressful for me (the sort of job that you never actually get to walk away from), and I have turned to unhealthy eating habits in an effort to self-soothe. On a deeper level, my boyfriend of 8 years passed away in Fall 2016. After he passed, I decided to stay in school, though I could barely function in many aspects of life. In order to get through the challenges of grieving and surviving my graduate degree, I slowly slipped away from a very active lifestyle (lots of climbing and training for climbing) and began turning to food as a source of energy and satisfaction.
Turning to food as a coping mechanism has been extremely damaging, both to my physical health but also to my mental and emotional well being. It’s time to make a change.
Long Term and Short Term Goals:
Long term: I will live a lifestyle that honors my beautiful, sacred, wise body and does not abuse it.
Short term: I will lose the 15lb of fat I’ve accumulated in the past 3 years, and will re-establish a healthy relationship with my body as well as food.
What are some struggles you face or you have faced in the past
Every time I’ve tried to control my weight (which I’ve done a lot in the past few years), I eventually fall off the wagon, and I fall off hard. This change needs to be lasting, a new lifestyle for me.
What is your game plan?
I plan to water fast from March 7 to March 23, and then take 4 days to reintroduce food. On my late boyfriend’s birthday (March 27), I’ll go out to eat with his mother to celebrate.
During the ‘water’ fast, I will allow myself electrolytes (magnesium, potassium, sodium).
After my 4-day refeed and boyfriend’s birthday dinner, I will make a plan for the future. I’m guessing I won’t have reached my short term goal quite yet, so I will consider some sort of intermittent fasting protocol to get there. The emphasis will need to be on honoring my body and eating whole, nutritious foods.
How do I feel right now?
I’m on the second day of fasting, and right now I feel relatively good (low energy but not too bad). I also feel determined-- now is the time to make a change. I’m so tired of feeling disappointed in myself and embarrassed about my body. I also feel slightly scared of committing to these dates, as I’m not sure what sorts of hurdles might come up for me or how my body might respond. But if I don’t put the dates out there, I know it will be much easier for me to rationalize myself out of it.
How will I feel once I achieve my goal?
I will feel fucking amazing if I lose the 15lb of body fat. I’ll feel confident in my own skin, and I will recognize what a gift my body and my health are (which they are now, as well).
Daily Affirmation
Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion. --Rumi
