Fatimah's Daily Journal

#1

Day 1
Oct 25th, 2019, Friday

Hi everyone, my name is Fatimah

  • Define your “WHY” - Why are you doing this?

I am up to the point where I am disgusted and ashamed at myself. I am at the point where I have the knowledge, all of it, on how to lose weight and be in a better shape. I have been uncommitted and dishonest to myself through this journey.
I have been starting many of water fast journey and keep breaking it at my own will. I would spend hours and hours of reading, watching or planning for the weight loss journey and then end up binge eating on crappy things. My body type is endo, which means whatever I do in the gym will not be effective if I did not stop binging.

I go the gym almost daily, I am so good at formulating workout schedules and being consistent at there. If you saw my performance at the gym, you would assume that I am a competitor.

I have been breaking my promises to myself many many times. You have no ideas how many times I have decided to lose the weight, I lose it and I gain it back. Sometimes I feel like something inside me has died, my willpower is not working anymore, my interest disappears once I see the food I like or crave. plus, I have a sweet tooth that ruins my plans.

I am literally disappointed at myself that I am isolating myself from seeing others or going out. I do not even want to go to work or put on the suit. I cannot wait until my duty is over and I run home to take it off. I can feel the suit’s unbearable tightness. I literally hate it for now.

I feel that my body is the main concern for the status of my mood. I want to be the one I want to be, someone within the normal weight range who enjoys life, social events, work, wearing clothes, etc

  • What are your long term and short term goals?

Long: to bring back myself esteem and the joy to my life. to be able to level up dedication and commitment.
Short: to be able to lose 40 lbs by Jan 2020

  • What are some struggles you face or you have faced in the past

Not prioritizing myself over others.
being weak in front of food
not having someone to share with
not being dedicated and committed
being bullied by colleagues and family members
losing interest
binge eating

  • What is your game plan? (/.e. OMAD intermittent Fasting + Keto + Water Fasting

I want to do water fasting for 5 days then a refeed so I can stil go to the gym with an energy

  • How do you feel right now? (Happy, Sad, Anxious, etc.) and why?

insecure, anxious, out of energy, depressed, unmotivated, and want to isolate myself where I do not see anyone around.

  • How will you feel once you achieve your goal? (Visualization)

will be happy and light on my foot

  • Write down your daily positive affirmation: “I am…” (I.e. "I am passionate, I am strong, I am capable and I will achieve my dream body once and for all, no more excuses!)

I am capable of doing this, I have done it before and can do it. I can face all the struggles, I can make it happen. I can turn my failures into a successful story.

  • Write anything else you want to write, let this flow freely since it’s your journal for yourself!

As of Today Friday 25th of Oct
CW: 157 lbs
GW: 110
body fat 30.50%
muscle mass 31.6 %
water wt 48.4%
BMI 26.9

body measurement in cm
Neck: 31.5
shoulders: 111
Bust: 96
waist, 75
belly 90
arms 33
hips 100
thighs 62
calves 38

I am almost 12 hrs into my water fast

I am looking forward to finding the support, and I really would love to connect with you guys.

Thank you Yasmine for this opportunity

5 Likes
#2

Hope you the best of luck in your fast!

I also struggle with binge eating, is horrible. the good thing is that fasting helps with that once you get used to it. i’m still struggling to get used to but is great that we have this forum now! :slight_smile:

2 Likes
#3

I love this so much! This is a powerful post, and I can feel like this is the beginning of your journey to success once and for all! I am so happy you took the time to come write your first post! Please bookmark this and update us every single day! Just hit “Reply” to your own post and continue with Day 1 - Day 2 - Day 3 etc. for the entire journey! Self-reflection and mental programming through journalling is key!

1 Like
#4

When I began my journey to reverse my Type 2 Diabetes on August 9th the first thing I did was to address my carbohydrate addiction and to change my taste palate. I grew up on a SAD (Standard American Diet) so it was what I was used to and would always fall back on.

So to solve those two issues, my first 2 weeks I went on a potato diet. Boiled potatoes and water ONLY. As a result, I no longer have cravings for most of the foods I normally binged on. LOL I still have to watch myself around potato chips though. It made my transition to Intermittent Fasting and OMAD (One Meal a Day) as a stepping stone to Prolonged fasting much easier. Also during Intermittent Fasting I also dropped all refined carbohydrates from my diet.

2 Likes
#5

Thank you for the comment, I am also thankful for this forum

2 Likes
#6

will be so, I am feeling the commitment about this time

1 Like
#7

I am really glad you were able to do this. I have not heard of the potato diet, to be honest. I actually started the intermittent fasting then transitioned to water fasting. I found out that my cravings and binge always on sweet food. I am still working on my ability to control myself next to sweets. coz it is the most kind of food that I binge on.

1 Like
#8

I found out about it through an interview with the Las Vegas magician Penn Jilette of Penn and Teller fame. Here’s the YouTube link: https://youtu.be/NelIXCuuSZ0

I also recommend seeing the Joe Rogan interview with filmmaker Kevin Smith who also did the Potato Diet after his heart attack.

1 Like
#9

**Day 2 **
**Oct 26th, 2019, Saturday **

38 hrs into fasting

As of Today

CW: 155.6 lbs
1.4 lbs down since yesterday

GW: 110
45.6 lbs to goal

Body fat 30.2%
Muscle mass 31.8 %
Water wt 48.6%
BMI 26.7

Gym
Strength Training
Back & Shoulder
4 exercises; 4 sets of 12 reps each

Cardio Training
30 min of the stair stepper
2200 rope jump

My mom is visiting me while I am still fasting. I had to make her breakfast. She was wondering why I am not eating. I really wanted to eat as a courtesy with her. I hate this feeling when she felt that I am ignoring her although I was sitting with her until she was done. I was still negotiating if I can eat this or that since I almost made her a keto breakfast. I gladly ended up continuing my fast.

I have completed a 7 hrs shift, I turned down a free pepperoni and margarita pizza. I had coffee, sparkling water and green tea.
I felt dizzy and my vision were going blurry for seconds. I would set down and take deep breath and that was able to reset me.

Cravings
the pizza of course plus a cup of latte with the foam on top

2 Likes
#10

bever heard of the potato diet for resetting the buds, really interesting, the YouTube link is such a beautiful to hear… Thank you for sharing that

2 Likes
#11

Day 3
Oct 267th, 2019, Sunday

56 hrs into fasting
Starting weight: 157 lbs

As of Today

CW: 152.4 lbs
3.2 lbs down since yesterday

4.6 lbs since the beginning of the challenge

GW: 110 lbs
42.4 lbs to goal

Body fat 29.4%
Muscle mass 32.1 %
Water wt 49.3%
BMI 26.2

A Number To Celebrate ( It is to celebrate anything you feel like it will give you the push to keep going, could be arbitrary, YOU deserve it)

I just passed down the 70 KG… yaaaaaay
and also passed 50 hrs fast

Gym
Strength Training:
Butt
6 exercises; 4 sets of 12 reps each

Cardio Training:
30 min of the elliptical
2250 rope jump

Fasting Observations:
Hunger: comes and goes, not too bad
Focus: sharp AF
Drinks: water, coffee, sparkling water
Urine & Stool: only urine, light to transparent
Mood: feeling very good and happy overall, especially while being at the gym. I felt achieving
Physical: only after being at the gym I felt like I need to sleep and felt lazy
Cravings: it is really weird, I do not like watermelon usually, but today I was craving watermelon juice.

My side self-talk
The Elephant Leg
I bet so many of you have heard of the term, The Elephant Leg. For the ones who never, it is a sensation of heaviness in your legs. According to that, when The Elephant Leg hits, you just feel that your legs are so heavy that are not able to carry you anymore and you just want to stop doing whatever you are doing.

For me, I usually experience this term the most, on a daily basis, while walking from and to the gym. I also experience it when deciding to take up the stairs or not. This sensation makes me wonder about my decision about going to the gym. And sometimes I feel it asks me to go back where I was; to the comfort zone. And by the comfort zone, I mean home and bed. I also can say that I have had it many times when cutting the gym for a while and coming back later on. It just makes you feel that you cannot do it, it is too heavy, you are not able to make it, slow it down, or take it lightly.

I remember that I have been beating The Elephant Leg every time, which is almost every day, since the mid of July for this time. While I was walking to the gym today, it has come to my mind that how awful that sensation feels and how victorious I feel after I beat it. The much worst part is that I realized that I have been letting The victory goes like nothing. For all the past breaking the diet cycle experienced, I almost wasted evey single effort made against The Elephant Leg. It actually hit me so hard of how awful that I have been the one who’s building something and blowing it again, building and blowing and building and blowing.

I know that I most probably will be facing The Elephant Leg every single time I go to the gym, try new challenges, more weights, additional sets or reps, or exercises. The thing is, I am really aware now of how I have been behaving and will work so hard not to ruin my every day’s victorious victory.

Let me know if you ever heard of The Elephant Leg, heard of, or experienced it yourself.

2 Likes
#12

You are so beautiful and you really inspired me I will try to have ligth workout today I’m on day 4 , good luck in your journey

2 Likes
#13

Day 4
Oct 28th, 2019, Monday

The goal of this cycle:
To fast at least 24 hrs

23 hrs into fasting ; The second cycle
Starting weight: 157 lbs

As of Today

CW: 152.4 lbs
.2 lbs down since yesterday

4.8 lbs since the beginning of the challenge

GW: 110 lbs
42.4 lbs to goal

Body fat 29.4%
Muscle mass 32.2 %
Water wt 49.3%
BMI 26.1

Gym
Rest
Worked a 12 hrs shift

Fasting Observations:
Hunger: not feeling it
Focus: sharp AF
Drinks: water and coffee
I still want to quit coffee
Urine & Stool: only urine, smelly and yellowish
Mood: feeling very good and happy overall and satisfied with the progress
Physical: Full of energy
Cravings: ginger, orange latte

I broke my fast of 60 hrs due to body shakiness, I think it was caused by the heavy workout at the gym. Once I had my keto meal, it was gone. Although my stomach was kinda gurgling after the meal, I felt better in the morning but was gassy. I guess because of the cream table I had. Overall, I had a keto meal.

A New Technique

The B4 Binge/Breaking Survey
Maybe a week ago, I have come up with this idea to treat the binging/breaking problem I have. I came up with multiple questions that usually arise after a binging/breaking cycle. Those questions come to me in the form of guilt, self-loathing and shame. I was able to collect some of the questions and put them into a survey. I then printed the question so I fill them in handwriting.

How does it work?
Copy-paste the survey.
Printed it, Highly recommend it
Every time you feel the urge to binge/break, you fill up one of these first.
Date it
Don’t forget to read the previous survey, if u have done one, before filling the new one.

The B4 Binge/Breaking Survey
Date:

  1. What/Who is the reason you are binging/breaking for?

  2. What are you feeling toward it/them?

  3. Is it/are they worth to binge/break?

  4. How many days you have been working out for the past week?

  5. What was the hardest part of it? What you did not like the most about the workout?

  6. How many jump ropes you are perfecting so far?

  7. How many days you have been logging in your food in the past week?

  8. What is the food you are breaking/binging on?

  9. Is it there all the time?

  10. Is it/are they worth blowing up/destroying your effort?

  11. How much do you weigh now? Last week the same day?

  12. What is your weight goal? And much is left?

  13. What matters to you the most or what made you hit this journey; one of the GOALs?

  14. How much money have you spent so far on this journey (mention one thing and its cost)?

  15. How much effort have you done so far on this journey (mention one thing you have done)?

  16. Who is on your enemies/pushing list?

  17. Do you still think it is a good idea to break/binge?

  18. Visualize yourself in its end goal?

So far, I have been testing it two times. I think it is going great. I remember once I did not binge/break because I remembered that there is a survey I have to fill in. That was a happy achievement for me. I encourage you guys to use it and let me know how it goes. Feel free to ask any questions about it or suggest any to be added. Don’t forget to date as it will help you in the future.

1 Like
#14

Day 5
Oct 29th, 2019, Tuesday
Starting weight: 157 lbs

The goal of this cycle:
To fast until Nov 1st

24 hrs into fasting ; The Third cycle

Starting weight: 157 lbs
As of Today

CW: 151 lbs
1.4 lbs down since yesterday

6 lbs since the beginning of the challenge

GW: 110 lbs
41 lbs to goal

Body fat 29.1%
Muscle mass 32.3 %
Water wt 49.5%
BMI 25.9

Gym
Cardio:
HIIT
2300 Jump Rope
20 min Treadmill

Fasting Observations:
Hunger: not feeling it
Focus: sharp AF
Drinks: water, ginger turmeric shot as a muscle relaxer and coffee
I still want to quit coffee

Urine & Stool: urine, smelly and yellowish, stool: consistent, hard but still feel constipated
Mood: feeling very good and happy overall and satisfied with the progress
Physical: Full of energy b4 the HIIT hits me, I was able to beat the elephant leg but ended up energy drained.
Cravings: any sweet treat, there was one box of biscuits I have been having for a while. I craved it so much, but I opened it and distributed it to the workers at the salon.

1 Like
#15

Day 6
Oct 30th, 2019, Wednesday
Starting weight: 157 lbs

The goal of this cycle:
To fast until Nov 1st

40 hrs into fasting ; The Third cycle

Starting weight: 157 lbs

As of Today:
CW: 149.2 lbs
.8 lbs down since yesterday

7.8 lbs since the beginning of the challenge

GW: 110 lbs
39.2 lbs to goal

Body fat 28.6%
Muscle mass 32.5 %
Water wt 49.9%
BMI 25.6

A Number To Celebrate ( to celebrate anything you feel like it will give you the push to keep going, could be arbitrary, YOU deserve it)

I just passed down the 150 lbs… yaaaaaay

Gym
Cardio:
Strength Training:
Tri/bi
4 exercises; 4 sets of 12 reps each

Cardio Training:
25 min of the stair stepper
10 min of treadmill
2350 rope jump

Fasting Observations:
Hunger: not feeling it
Focus: sharp AF
Drinks: water and coffee
I still want to quit coffee

Urine & Stool: urine, smelly and yellowish, stool: consistent, hard but still feel constipated+ I have been gassy all-day long
Mood: feeling very good and happy overall and satisfied with the progress
Physical: Full of energy b4 my workout, I was able to beat the elephant leg but ended up shaky
Cravings: any sweet treat, there was one box of biscuits I have been having for a while. I craved it so much, but I opened it and distributed it to the workers at the gym.

I broke my fast at the 40 hr after working out at the gym. I am actually killing the workout but once I am done I feel too drained and shaky. This is my second time breaking my fast after a workout load. My gym membership ends on Nov 1st. On Nov, I am planning not to go to the gym every day, I still have an active job tho (2 miles of walking and 500 calories to burn at least). I am thinking of cutting the gym for 5 days (Nov 1-5) and then go back. So it should be 5 days of fasting, hitting the gym on the 5th, refeed that day and fasting again.

Is anyone training as well?
or should I stay sabbatical?
or I should wait until phase 2 to hit the gym
please let me know what works for you?

1 Like
#16

If you feel good then keep with your current training schedule. But remember you need protein for muscle growth and repair. For myself, I’m limiting my physical activity to a daily 1 to 2 mile walk.

1 Like
#17

I LOVE YOUR SURVEY! This is phenomenal!

1 Like
#18

For this month of November, I want to keep it simple. The goal is to keep the goal the goal.

Starting a 21 consecutive days of water fast on Nov 3rd.

2 Likes
#19

Are you ready for day 1? :fire::fire::fire:

1 Like
#20

All IN, Thank you for the follow-up, you are such a kind person

Disclaimer: Please consult your doctor before beginning any fasting or diet program.

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