Failing to plan is planning to fail.
I have failed a few times now and am back in a tough spot. I’m tired of restarting but by the afternoon I find excuses to eat. I am ashamed and so tired. I did a successful 3 day fast, refeed and gained all 10 pounds lost back. I am so frustrated. The past 2 days I have been back to ground zero meditation, I still had to restart my timer last night. It’s so defeating. I KNOW better and deserve better. 3 days I dropped so much water and bloat. I feel entrapped to sugar. I blame the environment and so many other things and I am irritated with even my own bullshit. Was 267, Now 190 something GOT DOWN to 167… RFEED FEED IS SUCH A KEY THINGY… Our governor finally whispered opening the gyms back, and I applied for an assistant manager role, where I work. The universe is testing me. I feel it. I saw it go from 197 to 185 from 72 hour fast. Almost like a flashing arrow GET IT TOGETHER YOU ARE TOO CLOSE FOR YA SHIT…
But, gosh I hate where I live as much as I try to stay positive, being home 24/7 in a small room with a 2 year old and people that don’t even say happy birthday to me and expect me to be their maid, plus my ACE exam won’t test on my laptop and the facilities here are still closed, I need to workout for mental health, but I have this commitment to getting to my 30 day goal. I have made it all the way to 17. I know so much and have practiced so hard. And the things I slip on my stomach can’t even handle right now, I can still fix this with some focus… It’s like these past 2 weeks have been just emotionally charged. Once the moon shifted I felt better, yet… I’m still here, messing up, again…
I deleted socials on my phone for a bit, I want to focus on meditation, photography and journaling when this shit is hard, reestablishing how I cope with stress… again… Like right now, it’s hard. ONLY 14 hours in and I already hear the fridge calling my name… I also put a hold on workouts to reconnect my mental meditation explorations. With this I will stretch and do nightly yoga/Pilates. Low impact, before bed to reduce cravings.
Leaning on assistance, or anyone, is not my strongest suet, but I am going to babble on here. Plus I not only have YouTube video “showtimes” planned I also follow more fasters on TicTock to help me stay focused. My goal is to surround myself with it. Make it normal for me even if my surroundings believe I am batshit… Even my boyfriend only eats one meal a day… And that is to maintain for him. This is normal, this is what I need to do. This is a lifestyle i have not only chosen but works best for my body.
I have planned, I have set myself up for success and I have all the support I need… It is completely up to me and concurring my mind. SO much easier said than done.
Extended Fast Vents
Exercising for mental health is so important. I’m sorry you’re cooped up and under appreciated.
If you ever need any help with meditation I can give you some great resources. I’ve been a devout Buddhist most of my life and mindfulness, compassion, and meditation are wonderful keystones. We’re here for you!
Thank you so kindly! Any tips and resources are appreciated!! I have been listening to “the art of happiness” and I have audios I listen to for guidance.
The Art of Living and Peace Is Every Step by Thich Nat Hanh (really anything by him) are wonderful, mostly secular, and a joy. All of John Kabat Zinn books are also spectacular! I have an app on my phone from Thich Nat Hanh called Plum Village (the name of his hermitage in France). It has a wonderful bell of mindfullness that you can schedule to help you stop, be, and breathe. It also has lots of guided meditations, chants, etc.
One of my favorite reminders is the five remembrances. I have them printed where I can see.
" I am of the nature to grow old.
There is no way to escape growing old.
I am of the nature to have ill health.
There is no way to escape ill health.
I am of the nature to die.
There is no way to escape death.
All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change.
There is no way to escape being separated from them.
My actions are my only true belongings.
I cannot escape the consequences of my actions.
They are the ground upon which I stand.
How beautiful! Downloading Plum Village as I type this! Thank you again 
I follow some Dr Joe Dispenza.
He’s got a book, also on audio “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself.” How to lose your mind and create a new one.
Everything is reprogramming.