Thanks, Yasemin.
Following your template somewhat:
Intro
I had the desire for a flatter stomach in high school even though I was only around 100 lbs and would occasionally have a Carnation Instant Breakfast shake and a small bag of Cheetos for lunch for a week or two. I remember getting Dexatrim and some diet candy bars.
In college I gained the Freshman 15 from overeating carbs. Over the next couple of years I went on crash diets to try to lose but would inevitably return to eating what I wanted. All in all, I was still not fat, but I thought sometimes I should lose some.
My weight struggle really began when I was pregnant with my first child and I was encouraged to eat and so I overate all kinds of things. After I gave birth and was nursing, I still wound up with an extra 25 or so pounds. When I look at those pictures, it’s not bad. When pregnant with my second child, I was hungry all the time, took to drinking protein shakes since the smell of cooking meat made me gag. I gained every more.
So over the years I sometimes did crazy diets because I am impatient. My next real problem came when I hit menopause and the midriff bulge. I wound up with fatigue and often ate hoping it would give me energy. One day a little boy called me fat. At my highest I weighed as much as I did when pregnant.
Over the last several years I had success with HCG, moved on to low-carb, to keto, to carnivore. Wine became something I needed to address if I was going to lose weight. I used wine and carbs to deal with emotions. I’ve been carnivore for a few months now but the chocolate cravings have interfered. I’ve researched a lot and tried many things to combat those. It was easier giving up bread and wine. I also incorporated regular fasting a couple of months ago, usually ADF.
Why
I am tired of my weight being such a perennial concern/struggle. I’m tired of the yo-yo, and I want to be finally DONE with it and move on to other things in my life. My three reasons, as I stated previously, are:
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Lose the final few pounds of fat to get rid of the midriff bulge and return to around 112.
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Boost my growth hormones to repair bones, build muscle, and autophagy to clear up some excess skin, skin tags, etc.
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Prove to myself that I am in control, not my appetite or desires. This also means to return to intuitive eating.
Game plan
Continue with keto once the excess fat is gone and also continue with regular fasting of twice a week (42 hours). I also will allow the occasional starchy carb and some wine but it will be from a position of liberation, not fixation.
I will fast at least 3 1/2 days, perhaps 5 or 7. Will see how I feel. One thing about fasting is it is easy to just not struggle with whether or not to have the chocolate, because I’m not having anything!
How I feel right now
Optimistic that my goal is within reach and I can get this done prior to holidays with family and friends. Looking forward to the compliments! I have a successful plan in place!
How I will feel when I have reached my goal
Proud of myself that I was able to do it, satisfied, empowered, energized, ready to buy new jeans and take on another project.
My affirmation
I am getting there every day. I have succeeded in other areas and I can succeed in this one. I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. I am strong and well able. I am making it happen! I have set my sights on my goal to be reached this year. The new me is strong, energized, slender at 112 pounds, bursting with confidence and able to encourage others to do the same.