I started my fast at 10, so there is not anything special happening yet. But I am afraid of failing because I have failed so many times before and it almost feels like it has become a habit.
I have to convince myself that I can and will do this.
I have to do this for myself!
I have done many short water fasts from 2-8 days but I always cave in. I weigh about 73kgs and I am 165 cm. So I am chubby and I need to lose this extra weight.
I can feel how the weight has changed my way of thinking and I do not want to feel this way about myself anymore. I know that I am not obese or very overweight, but the mental weight that my brain has “gained” after my weight gain (for the last year or so I gained 15kg), has hitten me like a rock.
I will do this because I am tired of using my weight as an excuse for not doing things and I am done with postponing my health both mental and physical.
Nighttime update:
I will be going to bed in an hour and I haven’t been hungry yet. But I have been tempted, especially because I can’t tell my family that I am fasting (my mom would not allow me to) and I still live at home. So they still have to eat, and I have to come up with excuses for not eating. I am afraid that this will be a struggle, as I am going for 14 days total.
I am considering to say that I will be intermittent fasting, and therefore not eating while I am home. But here comes the other problem, my friends are not open to the idea of fasting.
But really I don’t know if it is just my brain coming up with excuses to postpone this even further; but I will do whatever it takes this time!