C’s Daily Journal

[americanglasgow]

Intro
Hey! I’m C! Here again for the millionth time but I feel like I’m at rock bottom this time. I’ve always been the chubby one, stuffing myself in to clothes, feeling like I don’t fit in my own skin. I’m currently sitting at 5’8 and 235lbs and have been this weight now for at least 2 years. I’m scared to get any bigger given the fact that I feel like complete crap now. I used to be active, running and working out but now I have no drive to do anything.

Why
I had some blood work done before Christmas 2022 and was told that my cholesterol was elevated but didn’t require intervention at the moment. I’ve never had any bad blood work so this is scary for me. I currently take prescription medicine for really bad reflux that I would really like to stop taking and I am desperate for a gut reset. Im also feeling so insecure in my body and that affects my mental health.

Long Term and Short Term Goals:
Long term goals for me were to get from BMI Obese to BMI “Normal”
Short term goals right now are to get to 135-145 lb goal weight range

What are some struggles you face or you have faced in the past
I hate going out because I hate having to get ready. My clothes don’t fit the way I want to so I tend to back out and just stay home in my stretchy pjs. I injure myself when I work out because of my weight and thinking I can still do what I did 80lbs ago. My mental health is also affected.

** What is your game plan?**
21 day water fast. Obviously taking it day by day and seeing how my body feels.

How do I feel right now?
I’m feeling motivated, especially after remembering about this forum! Hopefully others are starting tomorrow and we can keep each other accountable!!

How will I feel once I achieve my goal?
Like a new person. Literally half my size now. It’s been a life long struggle so I’m really looking forward to it!

Daily Affirmation
I am committed to my healing, no matter how difficult it might be!

[Talk2me]

Isn’t it just wonderful knowing that there is a place to go on the internet that wants you to say these things about yourself? That literally FEEDS off of you hitting this moment of truth?
Your rock bottom is our tearful joy . We want your success desperately. We need each other. When someone writes, “I’ve noticed that all I really needed was one bit of the pie to be satisfied” we can each imagine that very situation, and take something from it.
Please keep writing. Always. Tell us what’s working. Take us with you. Thank you for opening up.

[americanglasgow]

Wow! Thanks so much for that! I never in a million years expected someone to write such an amazing response to my rock bottom. I appreciate you! My climb starts tomorrow and I’m ready!

[americanglasgow]

Day 1. Here we go. I am exhausted. Slept like absolute crap so of course in my mind I’m trying to make excuses as to why I’ll just start tomorrow. I don’t usually work on Mondays but I volunteered to train a group of incoming employees this week and actually have to go in to the office today. I have all my fluids/water bottles ready to go (just in case, I’m taking in green tea and some sliced lemons). There’s a storm blowing around outside which makes me just want to pull the covers up over my head and try again tomorrow but I’ve committed myself to trying- so let’s go. I’ll check in after work.

Starting weight: 238.1
Starting body fat: 46.7%

I have a FitTrack scale. I’ve compared it to results of a DEXA scan and the scale is pretty accurate. I’m about 3lbs heavier than I thought.

[Talk2me]

Here we gooooo

[LisaL]

You got this! One day at a time. Keep your self-promises! By day # 3 I usually start to feel amazing as ketosis and autophagy kick in.

I’m sick with walking pneumonia and bronchitis, and feeling sorry for myself today. So reading your posts brightened my day. We all start where we are. I haven’t weighed myself and notice that I avoid looking at myself in mirrors when undressed.

A went through a bad break up, then Covid and isolation hit. Stopped working out, began ordering SAD fast food and binge drinking wine….hello body fat!