Becca's Journal

[Becca]

Intro
Hi, I’m Becca and I’m from Canada. My main coping mechanism for any negative emotion was always food and I was a chubby child. I have come a long way in controlling my emotional eating and haven’t binged in many years, but I still struggling with eating whenever I’m bored, stressed, lonely, etc. so I don’t address the real underlying issues. My weight has fluctuated a lot over the years – I have reached my goal weight many times (mostly through intense exercise and calorie restriction, which we know messes up our BMR) and always end up re-gaining it because I encountered stressful situations and turned to food.

I’ve been fascinated by fasting since discovering Dr. Fung in 2016. I’ve read all of his work including his blog posts and books which have transformed my approach to nutrition. But I’ve always fallen off the fasting wagon until discovering Yasemin’s channel in January, which has had such a positive impact on me. I was able to complete my longest fast yet (48 hours) because of your work, Yasemin! I’ve also finally been strict and consistent with IF which feels awesome. Thank you so, so much for what you do!

Why
I’ve been uncomfortable in my body for too long and I want to finally get the focus off my weight and learn how to maintain my goal weight once and for all through regular fasting. I want to be comfortable in my skin and not feel like crap every time I get dressed. I want to break my unhealthy habit of constant snacking and experience the other benefits of fasting besides weight loss, including mental clarity, autophagy, better skin, and many others. If I’m fasting, I won’t be able to use food as a coping mechanism so I’ll be forced to turn to other things that actually benefit me. I also want to strengthen my self discipline which I hope will carry over into other areas of my life.

Long Term and Short Term Goals:
Short term goal: Reach my goal weight by April
Long term goal: Maintain my weight indefinitely with a fasting schedule that works for me. Finally stop emotional eating and cope with stress in a healthy way.

What are some struggles you face or you have faced in the past?
My weight has constantly fluctuated and food has always been a problem (I’ve read Geneen Roth’s books on emotional eating multiple times, which were very helpful, but didn’t solve the problem). I struggle with maintenance – for many years now, every time I reach my goal weight, I stay there for a few months and then regain either because I start eating more (because my BMR is reduced due to calorie restriction) or I start stress eating. Then after a few months of discomfort with my weight gain I start restricting calories again, reach my goal weight, and then repeat the cycle. This has been happening multiple times per year since I was a teenager and I’m ready to fix the problem once and for all. Having a sweet tooth has also been a problem. It’s so much harder to fight cravings when you’re eating sugar everyday. Starting my day with sugar or any kind of sweetener in my coffee always makes me want to eat more – I’ve recently cut out this habit since I’ve started IF and it’s significantly reduced my urge to snack.

What is your game plan?
My plan is joining the March group fasting starting today. Knowing that so many others are in the same situation is so encouraging. I want to do at least 5 days and see how I feel from there. I plan to maintain with 18:6 and a few days of OMAD or 24 hour fasts per week.

How do I feel right now?
I feel kind of nervous because I have only fasted for 48 hours at most. I’ve done OMAD quite a bit though and I’ve been doing IF on and off for years now but I’ve never put my all in to it. I’m also really excited. Finding Yasemin’s channel has made me feel like I can finally do an extended fast like I’ve planned for years. For the first time, I’m feeling truly confident and empowered in my fasting journey. I’ve wanted to do this for so long and I finally believe in myself. I can’t wait to see and feel the results. I’m excited for everyone else to succeed with their goals as well!

How will I feel once I achieve my goal?
I will feel incredibly relieved. I was at my goal weight last summer and feeling really good about myself but I regained during a stressful period in the fall. I’ve been struggling to get back down (the Christmas season always throws things off for me). It will be so nice to wear the clothes I want without thinking about it instead of wearing whatever hides my body. I can’t wait to feel healthy and not worry about my weight all the time.

Daily Affirmation
I am capable of achieving whatever goals I set for myself. I will form new habits and create my own peace and happiness.

[Becca]

Day 1 Homework:

Write down 1 positive affirmation today.

I will finally succeed and break my old patterns. It’s time for change!

Write down 1 goal you would like to accomplish today.

It’s evening here, but my goal was to eat my last meal at 1 PM and start my extended fast this afternoon. I completed my goal.

Write down 3 things you are grateful for today.

I am grateful that:

• My family members and I are all healthy and relatively happy.
• I have no major stressors in my life.
• I live in a nice city and spring is around the corner.

Write down your “WHY”. WHY is this journey important to you?

I feel so much better when I’m at my goal weight. It really improves my quality of life. My clothes fit properly and I feel confident, healthy, and comfortable in my skin. I just don’t feel the need to obsess about my body anymore. I also want to break my sugar addiction and habit of constantly snacking out of boredom. I want to improve my relationship with food and feel fresh like I’ve “reset” myself. I want to succeed in achieving a goal that I’ve been wanting to achieve for years – doing an extended fast not just for weight loss but for all of the other wonderful health benefits. I’m done with feeling disappointed and wishing I had persisted!

Write down 5 reasons why you want to break your fast.

These are the usual reasons that always pop up:

• I’m bored and eating always cures boredom (for a very brief time).
• I’m feeling lonely and eating makes me forget about it - temporarily!
• I’m hungry and hunger feels unpleasant.
• Not eating feels so unnatural to me. Humans like familiarity and dislike change.
• I’m scared to actually complete my goal for some inexplicable reason – self sabotage?

[Freedumb]

Welcome to the forum. You sound like you will do well.

[Compdude]

Welcome to our fasting community!

Reviewing your entries, I can relate to reaching goal weight and then quickly falling off. The solution I found that helped was I didn’t create a supportive environment for the “new” me meaning getting constant positive reinforcement. Without that “support”, the minute unexpected stress happened I defaulted to the old behaviors.

Hope this helps!

[Becca]

Thanks a lot, I appreciate your support.

[Becca]

Thanks a lot! That definitely helps - I need to learn to create that environment for myself so I won’t revert to my old patterns either. Also, I’ve read many of your posts and comments since finding the forum. Congrats on your accomplishments!

[Compdude]

Thank you. It keeps me motivating knowing people are looking to me to light the way.

[Becca]

It’s now been 30 hours since I started my fast. I’m finding it fairly easy so far because I’ve been doing IF for a few weeks now and eating barely any sugar or refined carbs. I am definitely hungry and eating would be really nice right now but I know I don’t need to do it. Instead of going straight to the kitchen after work like I usually do, I’m changing my patterns by going straight upstairs instead to get away from the fridge.

In the past whenever I reached the 24 hour mark I’d get a horrific headache and feel light-headed but I’m completely fine today which is great. The physical symptoms of hunger really are manageable - the main reason I feel like eating is just out of habit/for something to do. But I’ve made up my mind to do this. I feel determined and I’m looking forward to getting through the next couple of days after which things should be easy. I know tomorrow will be tough but I’ll keep pushing through.

I find it really helpful to not tell anyone I’m fasting. It’s one of the reasons I broke my 48 hour fast last week. Another reason I broke it was because I decided to open the fridge out of boredom. When I saw all of the food, my hunger overtook me in that moment. Haha. I was pretty upset that I “failed”, but I learned something so it was worth it. This time, I won’t make the same mistakes.

[Compdude]

It’s never a failure if you learned a “lesson”!

[Becca]

You’re right, we can find something of value in almost every experience!

[Becca]

I am at hour 54 now, which is the longest I’ve ever gone without calories. I feel fine oddly enough - I don’t feel particularly hungry or different than I usually do. I have a mild headache but that’s not unusual even when I’m not fasting. There’s a stark contrast between now and the times I tried to fast in the past and felt weak, lightheaded, and achey. I have no real desire to eat and I was easily able to say no to the food I was offered at work and home, even though it looked delicious. Food definitely smelled better than usual. There were definitely a few times today where I felt extremely hungry and had some intense cravings, so I did my best to push them away and distract myself and it worked. I’m surprised at my own determination this time and I owe it to this fasting community. Thanks Yasemin!

Also, I’ve read so many accounts of people dreaming about breaking their fast. Weirdly enough, that happened to me last night. My dream self was so disappointed. Haha. I’m feeling extra motivated because I know day 2 is supposed to be the worst and I feel normal, but who knows how tomorrow will be. I’m staying hydrated and taking salt already so I hope things won’t get harder. Being at work really helps. I find it near impossible to fast at home for some reason. I still haven’t told anyone at all which also helps somehow. I’m just grateful I don’t have to cook for anyone else… it must be difficult. I only have 3 full days left because I plan to finish on Saturday afternoon but depending on how I feel, I might continue. We’ll see! I hope everyone else is doing great.

[Becca]

I’m at hour 76. I can’t believe it! I definitely feel worse today than I did yesterday. I very suddenly got this gross metallic taste in my mouth which I’ve read about so many times. - ketosis! It made me nauseous though so I drank some cinnamon tea to get rid of the taste. I felt pretty spacey today and just wasn’t “all there” at work. My head was aching when I got home and I feel tired and a bit irritable. I’m having muscle aches and I just want to curl up in a ball so I’ll do that. I might also be affected by caffeine withdrawal because I’ve always been a heavy coffee drinker but unfortunately I just can’t stand black coffee; I only like it sweetened and that’s obviously not an option. Drinking coffee with some kind of sweetener and cream multiple times per day for years is such an ingrained habit so I’m really surprised that I’m totally fine without it. Our minds are stronger than we realize.

On the way home from work I felt a bit nauseous and had a mild urge to puke. I’ve been taking salt and drinking a reasonable amount of tea/water though. I had some more salt and diluted apple cider vinegar and I feel much better - the headache is 90% gone. Day 3 has been exactly as unpleasant as described! It’s weird though because I don’t have the urge to eat at all. I feel hungry and I’m getting cravings for random foods but I don’t want to break my fast. I am not ready yet. My brother was eating a mini cucumber and it looked and smelled so delicious, even though it’s such a mild tasting vegetable. But I just don’t want to eat. My determination is strong.

I only have a few more hours before I go to bed, then it’s just another 2 days to get through. Technically Friday afternoon would be 5 full days which is my goal but I still want to push through to Saturday. I am not weighing myself (it’s not good for my mental health personally, so I measure weight loss by how certain clothes fit) and I’ve only noticed a small reduction in water retention but I don’t mind. This has become more about testing my mental strength and determination and getting the physiological health benefits like autophagy. I am hoping to feel some mental clarity and euphoria. I know 3 days is not much at all compared to what other people do, but I’ve never done this before. There’s a lot of power in seeing for yourself that you can go multiple days without food and be fine. I feel like after this, I will easily be able to do a couple of 24 hour fasts per week or do ADF to keep losing or maintain my weight. One day without food will feel like nothing!

I’m also saving time and energy by not having to pack lunch/prepare supper or think about what to eat which is great. The simplicity feels nice. It’s also nice to see that I don’t need food to manage my emotions or boredom. If I don’t eat when I’m bored or stressed, I’m perfectly fine. I just journal or focus on my hobbies instead (language learning, painting). I find myself going to bed earlier and sleeping better than expected. This feels kind of like an experiment.

I am so impressed by people who do this for weeks or more. Being able to write in this forum really, really helps. It holds me accountable which is important. Now that I’m done writing, I feel significantly better than when I started. My physical symptoms are gone besides some muscle aches and my hunger wave has disappeared too. Nice!

[Compdude]

Trust me. Those of us who are farther along the fasting journey have all gone through what you are experiencing now. Even then, starting a new fast is almost like starting all over again. Almost…LOL.

Glad you are focusing on the mental challenge aspect of it. Because that’s the true test and the most important part of building up your fasting muscle.

Keep it up!

[Becca]

You’re right, everyone has to start somewhere. I think actually starting and getting through the first day is probably the hardest part for everyone.

I agree, it’s exciting to see what we’re capable of. Thanks a lot for your support!

[Becca]

I’m at hour 100 now. I can’t believe I’ve made it this far. I woke up feeling unexpectedly normal. It’s really fascinating how long we can go without food and feel so normal. It’s incredible. I felt really good throughout the day - no headaches, no dizziness, nothing out of the ordinary. Besides some back pain - no idea what that’s abot. What I’ve heard about day 4 was right - it has been shockingly easy. I did feel a little spacey again but I felt calm and kinda detached overall. My work was not affected. I’ve ditched coffee so my caffeine consumption is significantly less than it was before - I had a few sips today and I just don’t like the taste. My anxiety is mostly non-existent this week (it’s usually not terrible but I do get a little anxious and stressed at times, like any one). I haven’t felt any negative feelings either - basically my moods are pretty flat besides a few moments of euphoria at my accomplishment. I don’t even feel bored in the evenings like I thought I would. I really don’t mind not eating in terms of the boredom - I’m perfectly content filling my time with other things.

Anyway, things were easy all day until after work. A family member called and asked if I wanted my favourite food brought home since they’re all having take-out for supper. It’s literally my favourite thing to eat and we don’t have it often. I didn’t even hesitate to say no, even when she insisted. However, this triggered some kind of ravenous hunger in me that wasn’t there before at all. I ended up feeling a little angry and resentful both that she offered and that I had to say no. No one knows I’m fasting and I don’t want to share it so it was unusual for me to refuse. But now I just can’t stop thinking about that food and my appetite is back in full force - for most of today and yesterday I had genuinely zero interest in food. Now I’m just “hangry”. So I immediately distracted myself - I got a shower and came straight here to write. I definitely feel better now and the cravings and hunger are subsiding. If I want, I can go get that food when my fast is over. It’s always gonna be there.

Also, this morning I noticed significant changes in my body. I was holding a lot of water weight which is basically gone and a pair of pants that had been tight were quite loose. This was nice to see because there were basically no changes in the first 3 days. I’m also freezing all the time and can’t seem to get warm. My showers are way hotter than usual. Usually I dislike hot showers but now it feels too cold if it’s at my normal temperature.

I still don’t know if I will break this fast tomorrow evening or not. I don’t really need or want to. I could fast through the weekend but I do want to set a time limit. To be honest, I did have an eating disorder when I was a teenager. I have long since recovered but those thought patterns and behaviours can always creep up and I want to avoid that way of thinking - I don’t want to keep pushing to see how far I can go at this point. I just want to complete my goal of 5-6 days and decide how to proceed from there. I know fasting isn’t an eating disorder, and I’m doing it for reasons beyond my weight (otherwise I wouldn’t be able to do it - the health benefits are what’s motivating me, not weight loss), but I don’t want to get freaked out by the thought of eating. My goal with fasting is to improve both my health and my relationship with food and my body, so I need to be mindful.

[Compdude]

@anna I think you can impart some words of wisdom here.

[Anna]

I’m really happy that you’re so mindful and have a lot of respect towards your body and it’s needs! It’s easy to fall into the thinking of competing (with yourself or others) to see how long you can go. And it is fascinating how our body can survive, function and heal so well while going long periods without food.

However, all bodies and all minds work differently, and something that can be healthy for one person can be terrible for another.
I guess I just want to say that long fasts does not equal doing a more effective or healthier fast. Even in fasting centres that are controlled by doctors, they are very careful with how long they fast their patients, based of their physical or mental state and healing abilities. Everything from 3 days up to 40.

You know your body best, and your mind’s limits when it comes to your past eating disorder! And we’ll support you if you go longer, just like we will support you through a good refeed!

[Becca]

Thank you so much Anna. I’ve read your entire journey and it was incredible. I really admire you! Your response was so helpful. I needed to hear this; “I guess I just want to say that long fasts does not equal doing a more effective or healthier fast.” You’re completely right, we should listen to our bodies and not keep pushing and pushing just because we wanna go longer even if it doesn’t feel right. I hope you’re doing wonderful.

[Becca]

I decided to break my fast about 4 hours ago after 122 hours, so I did a total of 5 days. I’m extremely happy that I reached my goal. I was terrified that I would feel upset and regretful after eating but I didn’t at all; I actually felt pretty elated. So this time I’ve successfully avoided any eating disorder related thoughts. I’ve wanted to complete a multi-day fast (minimum 3 days) since I read Dr. Fung’s book in 2016. I’ve tried so, so many times over the years and haven’t been able to do it so this is a really big deal for me. I’m very pleased! I wanted to go on until tomorrow afternoon but I was having kidney pain that I’ve never had in my life and it kind of freaked me out. I looked it up and it seems like I’m not the only one who has encountered kidney pain during extended fasting. I wonder if it’s actually related to fasting and if so, what’s causing it. It was pretty bad at times yesterday and today so let’s see if eating keeps it away. So far so good.

I was also afraid that I might become ravenous and binge after my first bite of food. Unexpectedly, I felt very restrained. I had a couple of olives, then I waited a bit and made a salad with spinach, baby romaine, olives, cherry tomatoes, avocado, olive oil, and balsamic vinegar. I also ate a small plum which literally tasted like a dessert; it was so much sweeter than usual. I thought it would feel kinda weird to eat but it didn’t. The foods tasted WAY richer than usual. All of the flavours were amplified. I felt satisfied with a small amount and didn’t feel the need to eat more after. 4 hours later, I don’t feel any hunger/stomach upset/urges to binge or even eat which is amazing. I’m not craving any junk food or bread or anything like that. I feel like I can easily resume another fast. I’m so pleased at how this went. Something else interesting; I was freezing cold the entire week but after I ate, my body got really warm and my face flushed. I didn’t bloat which is nice - I’ve always had a problem with bloating that only seems to be avoided by restricting my intake.

Overall, I had a pleasant and interesting experience this week. I think it’s because I’ve been building up to it for a long time and because I’ve done a lot of much shorter fasts before I completed this one. I started taking electrolytes from the first day and avoided too much physical activity. I really enjoyed witnessing for myself all of the things I’ve read about fasting. I experienced some moments of euphoria and mental clarity and strong feelings of well-being. I feel like I’ve done something really positive for both my mental and physical health. I’ve almost reached my goal weight based on how much looser my clothes are (I was not overweight to begin with so I didn’t have a lot to lose) I’m guessing I lost 5-6 lbs/3 kg of course including water weight but the weight loss was secondary to the other benefits. Now that I’ve completed my ultimate goal of doing 5 days at least once in my life, I can be more flexible and cut my fasts short if something comes up (like yesterday’s incident, haha). I’ll try to do another 3 days from Sunday evening to Wednesday evening this coming week. I just really liked how I felt while fasting and I want it to be a regular part of my lifestyle. I’ll experiment with alternate day fasting and try to figure out which fasting schedule works best for my body and lifestyle. Because although this was a positive experience overall, it definitely was not easy and it did slightly interfere with my normal life. I basically holed up in my room and avoided my family - I really preferred not to discuss my fast so this was the best method. I find it easy to fast at work though so I can always do OMAD and eat with my family in the evening.

Thanks to whoever read my journal - I’ve written a lot of details because I find it therapeutic and it definitely kept me on track. I also love reading other people’s fasting experiences in detail so I know what to expect, so I wanted to do the same. And thanks for your comments. I really appreciate it. I will continue to write about my experiences here because this is only the beginning - now that I’ve checked this off my list I’m ready to find the ideal fasting schedule and make sure my emotional/boredom eating is fully eradicated. I know one 5 day fast is not enough to “fix” any food related issues but I feel refreshed and ready. It should be easy to do 2-3 fay fasts or ADF after this one. Best of luck to everyone else on their fasting journeys!

[Compdude]

In regards to kidney pain, I went through that every time I had a detox episode during my 40-day. However, I should note I have CKD (Chronic Kidney Disease). The good thing, is my body used the stem cells produced during the fast to replace those dead cells that were cannibalized during the fast, including my damaged kidneys. During my recently completed 21-day fast I didn’t have any kidney pain during the detox episodes this time.

In regards to finding the right fasting schedule to fit your lifestyle.

Currently, I have planned 2 more 21-day fasts up to 6/12/20 which is the next time I see my doctor. I have 4 reasons:

1. I have cured all my metabolic diseases except for the CKD which is improving. Since I’ve cured the 2 major causes of CKD: T2 diabetes and hypertension as of 12/12/19, I believe I can cure it this go around.
2. I want to see what improvements I can make with my osteoarthritis.
3. I’ve heard of improvements in retinopathy. I’m hoping to avoid cataract surgery in my remaining good eye, the left.
4. I want to have a “6-pack at 60” to prove a point.

I have 10 day refeeds of one to 2 meals per day on a time restricted schedule. After the refeeds I do a 30-day workout phase to build up my body before the next prolonged fast. During the workout phase I find A.F. Works for me. The variation I favor is 600 calorie fast days with unrestricted feast days. All meals low-carb. I don’t follow strict keto because I found that our gut biome needs a wide diversity of carbs to keep all the different bacteria healthy.

Hope this helps!