Ashley's First Long (30-Day) Fast - Accountability Required

[AshMo]

Hi everyone. My name is Ashley, and I’ve known about water fasting since 2009. Since then, I’ve done dozens of short fasts and attempted hundreds(no exaggeration) of longer fasts(14+ days) that would end after 2-4 days. They would typically end because I’d convince myself that I was strong enough to make healthy habits and do things in moderation. Ha!

Years of depression and anxiety lead to binge eating, disordered eating, and low self-esteem. However, for the past years, my mental health has been fantastic. Though my eating habits have improved, I’ve fallen into this cycle of yo-yo fasting and see fasting as the ultimate next step in my self-mastery, as food has been the one thing that I’ve always felt lack of control with.

I’m doing this so I can give myself the gift of health while taking this next step on my spiritual journey.

My long-term goals are to develop a healthy relationship with food and eat in a way that is truly nourishing to my body. My short-term goal is to complete a 30-day water fast. Honestly, I’d be proud if I even completed 14 days, but I keep “hearing” 30 days in my mind, so that’s what I’ll go with! I am 5’7” and would like to reach ~145lbs. I’ve never been close to that weight in my adult life, so I will see where my body settles.

Past struggles have primarily been mental health, emotional eating, and overconfidence when doing refeeding.

I feel super excited and happy to finally be completing this fast, as it has been an ongoing challenge for me. I also have a calm knowing that this time is different (though I’m sure we’ve all said this to ourselves before lol). This time IS different though.

Once I complete this fast, I will be a new person. New body, new mind, new spirit, and I will have a level of trust in myself that surpasses anything that I have yet to experience. I’ll also see a large increase in my savings, as I won’t be spending on food.

Daily affirmations: I am powerful and am achieving my goal. No more excuses! Self-discipline is sexy!

I write this journal for myself and for others. Yes, we are all individuals, but most of us have common threads and it’s comforting to see someone echo your own experiences. If anything that I say makes someone feel less alone in their journey, then we elevate together and I love that.

[Gabrielle]

Well said. I have similar issues to yours with binge eating, emotional eating and low self esteem. We may have not met our exact goals in the past but I agree with you that this time is different. I have completed 1-3 day fasts in the past same as you. On April 12, 2020 I decided I wanted to complete a 50 day fast. That would take me through the end of May. I am on day 7 and I’m going strong. Let’s keep each other motivated and accountable on this journey. When I complete this fast, I’ll post before and after pictures.

[Seaqueen]

The whole “convincing myself that I was strong enough to make healthy habits and do things in moderation” hit me!!! I’ve been able to do extended fasting (last year did 16 days, 3 day re-read then 13 more days). But now I can’t get back into the groove and have ended up bingeing and gaining back the weight.

Everytime I would try I would just convince myself to go another route. I feel weak as hell spiritually and physically!! I want to finish up this month (12 days) and then 9 days for May to make 21 days. If I feel good then I want to go for 30.

[Tenax]

Seaqueen, I’m feeling you. Last time I did an extended fast was 2014 and I got to 220. I gained the weight back within a few years. Then January 2018 I started eating keto with occasional cheat days and got to 230 again. And then it stuck…and stuck…and stuck. And I gave up and gained 53lb. In both cases I don’t feel I did enough research on keto and what I was putting into my body. One of the big things I believe sabotaged my effort was sweetener. I thought my choice was a good one (pure sucralose) and that I could use it frequently. I was using 6 packets per day in coffee and tea and based on the info I have now probably made myself insulin resistant impeding weight loss. I think I’m better equipped now to do this…and keep it off.

[AshMo]

I love that Gabrielle. Congratulations on completing 7 days also! We should definitely keep each other accountable and motivated during this fast!

[AshMo]

Yes! It’s amazing how the mind starts playing tricks on/rationing with you to end fasting! I was rotating short fasts with refeed days and was dropping weight and so motivated. Then I don’t know what happened and I lost my groove, like you said!

Now, you are strong spiritually and physically and we will reach our goals! I’ll check in with you to see how things are going with your fast.

[AshMo]

Oh no!! It’s unfortunate when we try to do good for our bodies and then it has an adverse effect. Now that you’re equipped with this knowledge, you should see a shift. What’s your current goal?

[AshMo]

I’m 41 hours into the fast and I woke up feeling weak with stomach pains and for a brief moment, started to feel discouraged/like I’d have to stop because my body isn’t clean enough. Since then, I’ve gotten up, freshened up and put on clothes. The sun is calling me, so I’ll go for a long walk at noon(to replace this “mealtime”).

I’m feeling positive and stronger than ever. Food cravings also haven’t been too bad, surprisingly. Ready to take on these upcoming days.

[Tenax]

My current goal is 200. I can’y remember last time I was there. I90 would be my ultimate goal though. Last time I was that low though was about 35 yrs ago. Lol.

[Compdude]

You’ll get there. You’ve got a strong enough “why” now.

[Tenax]

Bang on, my friend!

[Mihaela]

I really love that “self discipline is sexy”. I’ll put it on my laptop’s background.
I struggled the same as you. And I still struggle…
The important part is that we don’t stop…
You will rock!

[Gabrielle]

You are strong and you will get there. As far as body pains today, just think of how painful it is to not buy a cute dress or pair of jeans with heels because of your weight. For me during this journey, I can honestly say I was at my bottom and desperate so nothing feels more painful than not liking the person I see in the mirror. The great thing is we only have up to go from here and we do have the power to change our lives. Stay strong. @AshMo

[AshMo]

Loll Right! My goal weight is one that I’ve never been at as an adult! I was at that weight around 13 years ago!

[AshMo]

Yes yes!!! We don’t stop! starts dancing in seat

[AshMo]

Yes Gabrielle! No where to go but up from here. And I’ve definitely been thinking a lot about what the consequences of NOT following through are and I don’t want to repeat that all too familiar cycle!

[AshMo]

Approaching hour 63 and last night was challenging. I was facing boredom head on and though there were things that I could do, like clean up or read or watch a movie, I just wanted to eat. The cravings were strong and I was craved things that I don’t eat/haven’t eaten in many years.

I’m at the point now where the true test begins with the work week starting. Working with kids and preparing food and snacks, in addition to them both being at a defiant stage is tricky and usually triggers me to snack.

I do feel more confident today though and fasting increases my patience, so I’ll feel less triggered overall.

I’m so grateful for this space and to all of you guys for sharing your experiences and keeping me motivated and accountable. Thank you

[Gabrielle]

Good morning! Just checking in. How did your first 72 hours go? I’m still going strong. I’m starting day 9. I even went to a family dinner and I visited with everyone while I drank a cup of hot tea. I haven’t told anyone I’m fasting because I don’t want to deal with the negativity. I’ve made a decision for me. I did get offered food over and over but I just told them I had already eaten and that I wasn’t hungry.

[AshMo]

Yea. I have a few friends that know I live a fasting lifestyle, so they know that I’m fasting, but they don’t know how long for the same reason. Day 9! That’s amazing and even with what could’ve been strong temptation! At this point, I’m feeling confident and focusing on taking it one day at a time.

[AshMo]

At hour 112, slowly approaching day 6 and the cravings are starting to come back a bit. Constantly having to make food for children and being surrounded by food is tricky, but I’m okay. I’ve always stopped my fasts on day 4 and even that was many years ago, so my brain is trying to start its tricks.

Starting to feel chilly now. I know it’s typical and things could be much worse. My energy is good, though I’m feeling bleh currently. Proud that I’ve passed my previous record and look forward to seeing how far this fast will take me.

I am also more irritable. Maybe from sugar withdrawals, but there’s another part of me that’s annoyed that I’m not eating right now. It’s a feeling, it’ll pass.