My son Alan was a victim of a homicide last week he was only 22 years old, today was his funeral. As part of the grieving process I have decided to do fourty days of fasting, prayer and reflection.
I plan on checking in here regularly.
My fast starts now 8:00 p.m Jun 8th 2023
I love you my son 
Amanda's Journal
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My condolences @Amanda_Anderson I am truly sorry for your loss. I pray for your healing during this difficult time 
, I pray the lord will pour his pure love upon you from the crown of your head to the soles of your feet, in Jesus name. Amen
I saw your post and felt to reach out, may you be strengthened and encouraged to keep moving forward. Please feel free to reach out if you need some support.
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Thank you so much for your kinds words and your prayer.
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I am so sorry for your loss. Good luck with your fast.
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This morning has been a hard one, I just want to stay in bed all day doing nothing but decided to make myself get up and do something.
I’m going to head out for a drive with my mom and connect with nature for awhile, being in nature is so relaxing and I find I feel closer to my Creator when outside of the chaos of the city and I really need their presence right now.
I’ll be back to check in before bed.
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Hi Amanda,
First I would like to offer my sincere condolences for your son. I can’t imagine losing a child. I will definitely keep you in my prayers going forward. 
I will join you on your fast, but my start date will be today at 12:15 p.m. I lost my mother when I was 10 due to domestic violence in 1998, and honestly loss never really goes away. All we can do is take it day by day and try our best to think positive thoughts and find reasons to smile. And it’s okay to have those days where you just stay in bed, we can’t be happy-go-lucky every day. As long as you can get up the next day and keep on keeping on, that’s all that matters.
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Thanks so much
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Well my trip into nature was wonderful, wish I could have stayed out there.
As soon as I was home I started getting tons of messages angry and insulting ones, ones attempting to make me feel guilty all because I asked for a small close family only funeral.
What kinda jerk sends messages like this attacking a mom grieving the loss of her son in such a tragic way. It boggles the mind how completely cruel and self-centered some people are.
Today is a new day and I have decided not to answer my phone or texts. I don’t need to give these guys any of my energy, instead I want to focus on cleaning the house and spending time with my other kids.
Thank you for the kinds words ya’ll and of course anyone who would like to join is welcome 🩵
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He was very handsome. Wishing you peace and please block anyone that stresses you out.
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Good morning
I think I’m going to take another day off from the messages and calls today.
All the stress from them is just to much to deal with today.
Every time there is a message or call comes in I want so bad to reach for some chips or icecream. Like an alcoholic reaches for a beer I reach for a glass of pop, I am truly addicted to this poison and I am determined to get through without eating myself to a early grave. Alan would not want that for me and it in no way helps my other kids, so I continue on.
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Go in peace
Go in kindness
Go in love
Go in faith
Leave the day
The day behind us
Day is done
Go in grace
Let us go
Into the dark
Not afraid
Not alone
Let us hope
By some good pleasure
Safely to
Arrive at home
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Do what you need to do for your mental health, you are doing great considering what you are going through, the lord is with you always, have a day off or two, there is no rules. I pray for rest and peace of mind.
I will be wrapping up my day here shortly. The fasting today has gone well, but feeling exhausted because of being up half the night with anxiety attacks. I will be going to bed early tonight at least that is the plan.
Check back in tomorrow.
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Finally got some sleep and feeling decent this morning.
I have good energy and still going strong with the fasting. Check in later 