***Now is my time...I will hit my goal weight***

#1

Intro
Hey guys, My name is Chris and I’m here because I want and need to use water fasting as a vehicle to help me finally get to my goal weight after many years of going back and forth with my weight (the same 20-40lbs)! I was overweight/obese my whole life up until 9 yrs ago when I had the sleeve weight loss surgery which in my eyes saved my life! My highest was 367 lbs. A year after surgery I got down to 230 and was the happiest I’ve ever been and that’s when I met my wife, fell in love and got married late 2016… At our one year wedding anniversary the next month she was diagnosed with such a rare brain cancer and a year and half after that she passed away… my best friend was ripped from me just like that! When she was sick I gained 40 lbs while caring for her then after she passed away I dropped that 40 lbs being on a keto diet and started feeling myself again… when life continued to move on I then started binge eating again and dipping into bad habits back from when I was heavier and gained 15-20 lbs and now 2 and half years after she passed later I’m sitting at around 255lbs give or take (probably more now as I’m eating a pint of Ben and Jerry’s right now typing this) smh… I’m sick and tired of waking up everyday feeling drained with no confidence, constant judging myself in the mirror (body dysmorphia I’m sure) and always saying I’m gonna lose the weight… it’s always I’m gonna start Monday or tomorrow and always make excuses… that brought me here because I need this!!! I’m back dating again or well wanting to and I’m matching on dating apps and on Facebook with girls but when it comes time to step up and go on dates because I’m so self conscious and what they might think when they see me I push everyone away as much as I wanna love someone again… water fasting I believe is gonna reset me all together!! Thanks for listening and can’t wait to get this journey going so I can get to goal weight and live life to the fullest!!!

Why

I wanna look in the mirror and smile and feel super confident about what I see not pick my body apart and tell myself how fat I still look!! I wanna love myself so that I can find someone to love too, but it starts with me! Another goal is I never take my shirt off either down the jersey shore or at the pool during summertime so summer 2021 I wanna be confident enough to do that!!

Long and short term goals

Short term goals - stick to what I say I’m gonna do… aka water fasting for (this many days)

Long term goals - hit goal weight of 205, and date seriously so I can have the wife again and to become a father (my main goal in life)

Past struggles

Food has always been my issue… I’m a volume eater and even now I can eat too much even though I had a weight loss surgery 9 years ago! Binge eating if it was a sport I’d win a gold medal I swear lol… my negative thinking about myself, my confidence issues, and me caring too much what others think about how I look has always consumed my mental being! This will all change

Game plan

I wanna start with a 5 day water fast… refeed lightly for a couple days then start a more in depth extended fast… how long? Not sure yet
I wanna be more productive to keep my mind focused and off of food and really just kick this mental block I have… all I have to do is not eat and drink water!! Easiest most difficult task it seems from my past attempts!!! It’s about to change!!!

How will I feel when I achieve my goal?

I know for a fact my confidence alone with be at such a high level that everything else in life will naturally just fall into place I believe! I wanna wake up with a smile, not in pain, and with a purpose again!!! I wanna go into a store try an outfit on and not worry about if I look to fat in this or anything like that! I wanna be out with friends have a girl give me obvious signs that she is attracted to me and I without hesitation just go up to her and talk without any fear of rejection or if she likes me or not and not care at all if she doesn’t! Life will be amazing when I hit my goal! I just know it

How I feel right now

Nervous because I’ve always said I’ll just start tomorrow… I’ve never documented anything before though with water fasting… I’m also very optimistic that I am going to do this and succeed!! I’m gonna envision the end result to get me through those tough moments when I wanna cave and eat food!

Let’s do this

7 Likes
#2

Today is Day 1… feeling like crap still from my binge episode last night as I lay in bed still typing this!!

I weigh 260 this morning ughhhh… disgusted!!

Let’s do this

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#3

I hope this isn’t stepping over a line (which means it probably is). I’m sorry if I’m getting on a high horse but you have all the conditions for happiness right now. Attachment, grasping, and desire are the roots of suffering. If you can’t nurture the resources you already have to transform your suffering into joy now nothing you “achieve” can make you happy. Sure, like you said, reaching certain goals will boost your confidence, increase discipline, and help build stabilizing habits. Happiness is not necessarily an emotion but a state of being. Every moment we have is a gift and each second we are not aware and present we are ghosts carrying around our own corpse. Please, don’t expect happiness to occur when a particular event “happens”. Your life is way too precious to squander the only thing you have: the present moment. Our only true belongings are our actions and we cannot escape the consequences of our actions they are the ground upon which we stand

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#4

Read through your story and I know you can do this! Journaling is helpful so you can start to get everything out on paper. You might start to recognize your own patterns as you write it out. I think so much of our eating is on “auto-pilot” that we don’t realize how much we are even taking in. Really watch for your hunger signals. True hunger is in the throat and mouth… not the stomach. There’s some great books to be read if you want to learn more. Looking forward to reading about your journey. You will find a lot of support here!! Welcome!

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#5

Loved everything about this!!! Exactly why I posted here so I can do whatever I can to find my true self!! I need in my face responses like this to help gain me other perspectives on my uphill battles!!! Thanks a ton kristy for that. Truly

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#6

Thanks so much Kyle!!! Appreciate you
Gonna keep my mind focused on the end prize and how good it’ll feel!!!

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#7

Wow. What a story. Sorry for your loss.

Sorry you had to go through the sleeve thing too.

I’m sure you realize now that it’s a temporary help, but we all need to address the deeper issues and make lifestyle changes after years of bad programming. It’s a rewiring of the brain.

As difficult as losing weight may feel, I think the refeeds can be trickier, and I have a feeling maintenance will be the biggest challenge of all for myself. Working up the muster to get back on the horse after a feast day.

I have a new challenge beginning tomorrow and it goes for the next 90 days. Please feel free to join in. :slightly_smiling_face:

I post every day to face myself and hold myself accountable. Rewiring can take time.

Welcome to the community.

1 Like
#8

Have you considered getting professional counseling to help you heal? I am quite ill and having a psychologist to help me maintain life sustaining habits and keep me accountable which has literally been life saving.

I am so sorry you are in so much pain and grief. I’ve discovered one of the most effective ways for me to cope is to be as compassionate and as kind as I know how in any given moment (especially to myself). After a trauma, I found the most healing by transforming something horrible into volunteering with registered sex offenders on parole. I tutored them to help them get their GEDs and taught them how to cook so they could find jobs.

Since you love children so much it would be a huge help to you and a lonely child to become a “big brother” or something in the same vein. You know what it’s like to take care of someone and love them unconditionally, even if the experience was one of the most painful situations one could go through. Here you have an opportunity to transform that pain into loving kindness. Helping others can sometimes be the most effective way to help ourselves. When you want to be the best person you can be to support the growth and development of others we gain an undeniable and unobstructed view of our own self worth.

I hope you are having a wonderful day!

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#9

Your story is so inspiring, thank you for sharing. I believe in you, you seem very determined and passionate. Best of luck with your fast :muscle:t2:

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#10

Thanks is so much!!! :blush:

#11

Ended up doing OMAD this past week… down to 253lbs from 260 in 4 days but today I just signed up for my first 7 day fast challenge!!! I need the accountability or I’ll keep falling off

I will have a successful 7 day water fast!!! :muscle:t3:

Sept 24-Oct 1

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